Atonement

 

 

 

Deconstruct

your resolution

beneath the lies

 

Institutions

 

I have no feel

for intuition

though I beg

that my heart listen

 to your eager,

biting scorn

 

You have left me, unadorned

 

Behind a wall of

lead and stone

I travel through

the deep

 

Atone

 

Me for things I have not said

I wished for you and so have bled

 

A thousand nights I've watched the moon

Full and red, a sculpted swoon

So as you wander into the sea

Filling your lungs

with kerosene

Take a step

into my heart

And then, my dear,

We shall not part

 

For on a bed of thorns we lie

emersed in things that

cannot die,

caressing words

to ease the burn, I'll whisper

as the pages turn

and fold into those paper wings

the ones so black with silver rings

 

 I'll dangle blindly underneath 

 serated edge,

your charcoal teeth

So when you

slice in thin remarks

your eyes a candle,

 flying sparks

I will sink, finally free

 

 Love and Darkness

...Let me be...

 

 

Author's Note

Finished. ;)

Reviews

[KL]

'so as you wander into the sea
Filling your lungs
with kerosene'

Crazy imagery right there... favourite lines in the poem. A complex bit of writing here, conveying the longing of one for another when there is so much between, namely illusions and misunderstandings. Nicely done.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

WHOA!
Your imagery just blew me away.
I'm at a loss for words.

[Aven]

"Behind a wall of
lead and stone"

These lines really grabbed my imagination. Suddenly I pictured a deep sense of paranoia and claustrophobia. Well done! :)

[Pax Analog]

More eloquence, a continuation of "Skeleton Girl," peeling away, peeling away.

"I'll dangle blindly underneath/serrated edge,/your charcoal teeth/So when you slice in thin remarks/your eyes a candle,/flying sparks/I will sink, finally free/Love and Darkness/...Let me be..."

The mystics say "die before you die," which isn't really the same thing as Eros and Thanatos getting it on in the Romantic sense, but you certainly make the thorns as interesting as the roses (there's a cheeky S/M title Forget the Roses, Send Me the Thorns).

[Norma M Sutton]

Very nice. Sharp clear imagery.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

the enchanting imagery...this is one of my favorites of Your work..."Love and Darkness
...Let me be..."
Great ending line....yes.there is nothing that can slice through one so deeply as love ...followed by darkness....lovely write

[Bard Constantine]

It's hard to describe the dark enchantment of this piece... I felt a smile spread as I read this... your flow and rhyme scheme is melodic, something I don't recollect you doing before, but I shouldn't be surprised that you do it so well. The lines sing sweetly of pain and love and darkness... so delectable a dish. Absolutely spellbinding, my dear...

[David W Moore III]

wow, what a romp, and by romp, I mean super crazy! (but in a good way) I feel... you know what? I just feel. Nice

[Kelley]

Cold and dark but full of feelings. I like how this one flows.
Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Crinkle°]

hello MoonFlower, this poem is so beautiful, it gave me shivers...

[Brad]

like a song, can almost hear you speaking over a mic in some dark coffee house. the taste of this is bittersweet, but isn't everything in life like that?