Skeleton Girl

 

 

 

 

 

I saw you laugh

at my reduntant eyes

a silent falling of sober tears

Holding close those moonlit moments

I folded my hands into my breast

to feel the heartbeat there

 

One by one

You plucked my feathers

casting them to the embers

A mockery of silken promises,

ashes burning away my freedom

I always knew you would

leave me helpless

 

Charred skin

oozing liquid flesh

Shadowy eyes bore deep

into my weak, broken soul

tearing down the walls

that could not withstand

your eager embrace

 

I held

my hopes up to the sky,

let it rain down in a sickening lullaby

No one will ever find me here

among the filth and debris

 

My faith

was scattered in the wind

My cries

seedlings that shall never land

 

Carry my body

in soft deliverance

down to the cool water,

 dip my feet into the reflection

of our world, because good bye

was all that I could ever

hope for

Author's Note

I just kind of pounded this one out. Tell me what you think..

Reviews

[JelliFyshKissUs]

Your structure remind me of dewdrops. Very compatible with the heartrending tale of a broken and battered expectation. But it was a bittersweet soothe of thought at the end to give just a little more beauty at the end than it had at the beginning. Fluidic.

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Moonflower,

I will keep formals for now, it's funny really when I read through some of the other reviews of yours...since our convo last night...I noticed one making a joke and I am sure it was just a joke, but it caught my fancy. Why?

Because it's funny that we choose to read who we find attractive, funny really. How can one open their mind to something if they are allowing their eyes to shop for their minds. Don't get me wrong Moon, you are attractive. A bit too thin...but that isn't my concern.

Your poem was excellent, I do hope the agony and suffering flamed a pain that was enjoyable. Pleasures can be so delightful. Pain a thrill. Great write, better read.

Always,

Matthew

[Steve]

whoa.......good poetry here!

((At first I thought you might just be a pretty face......but, NOT!))

this is a very stylish and effective write.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

exceptionally detailed sensate poetic~

[KL]

You have a very unique style... it's a bit dark, ominous and disturbing, but not in a way that's overwhelming or bad at all. It's like seeing pessimism refined to something that everyone can understand, and instead of being a wannabe cry for help you deliver it in purely professional poetics. Some very interesting thoughts here indeed, well done.

[M.Kilani]

what is it about rain that urge us to be self-destructive !! and what shelter do rain give !! I mean why this unexplained yearning, this devastation, and desire for lonesome !!
you did a great job here the flow was amazing ... the images you put were good as well .
well done dear ... well done

[Another Relic]

Outstanding poem. I looked for a favorite line but discovered the entire poem instead. A 100 from me.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting tale. A lot of hidden story in the words. I like the lonely feel of the poem. The last line is very good. We need a proper goodbye. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Robin]

the heart stripped ..

[William]

I really, really enjoyed that last line. [The entire poem too, but that last line is just so strong.]

[Omar Fendri]

oh my! This was outstanding, fabulous, breathtaking, heart-warming somehow.
The last stanza's awesome. well done from beginning to end
full of real heartfelt emotions
your words were spoken
this is one of your best
I completely love it, :)