Reap for Me

 

 

 

Would you let death wrap its silver coils

around your breath, emptying your soul in

serpentine spools

Your life like festooned yarn, unraveling

before His putrid eyes...

 

Or would you surrender mine instead?

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

This comes across as a person faced with a dilemma of selling their soul to some kind of devil, or throwing the one close to them into the fire, so to speak.

The image of the "soul emptying in serpentine spools" is very dark, devious and sinful...I love it.

The brevity serves the poem well.

Well done.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem was incredibly dark, but still a beauty.
You Rawk.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

Breathtaking in every aspect.. damn girl.. you've gobsmacked me..

[Zackery Alan Daley]

Wow I am a male. I am also deeply frightened for the poor boy or man, unless of course he has wronged you. Very great write. I read it like ten times and now it is stuck in my head like a song, yet more poetic. KHS will hear your work whether they want to listen or not, I sing outloud.

[Miss Coral]

This was simple, but elegant and interesting. I love the way that the last line hits. Great word choice- though I must say, "festooned" kind of disrupted the tone/flow for me. :/
Other than that, great write. :)
-Coral-

[Pax Analog]

Strange choice, this.

I don't think Death has putrid eyes. A dead body will have putrid eyes and putrid everything else in short order, yes.

Everyone is advised to treat and face Death w/dignity.

Are you asking whether someone would die for you or whether they would try to get you to take the rap for them? Big difference.

This poem has the virtue of Poe-like words, lines and theme, and the vice of uncertainty.

Love would die for its object of devotion, if necessary, and certainly take its own medicine, however bitter, as well.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

vivid~ penetrating poetic~

[bbb]

Great structure and use of language here. I wouldn't change a thing. Ingenious!

[Robin]

how far would one go for love ...

[Randolf Ramos]

This is a great question of martyrdom! would you or would not? The question lies deep within your soul to prove whatever it is, would it be love.

[alan khan]

ahh. i love this kind of language. this is fantastic. awesome work.