Heart broken

 

 

 

I believed you because

 

it was beautiful

 

And I needed something sacred

 

to hold near.

 

...Don't flutter your wings, preparing to fly away...

 

 

 

I still need you here, please stay.

Reviews

[sushi]

Beautiful.... Many different deep thoughts have been bought out with simple and sort lines.... Fear remains at a corner of the mind always towards the life without our love and somewhere in the inner thoughts a prayer is always been made to have this love always near and the relationship to remain the same in the coming future....

Thank you for sharing this wonderful write.... I would try to read all your others poems as soon as i get free...

Please keep sharing your beautiful creativity.....

~ Sushi...

[Akshat♥]

Everyone needs someone to stay with them..
share their feelings..either sadness or joy..
hurting but still living..heartbroken
nice write:)

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh I really love this! I loved the spaces, it added much emphasis and a kind of silent suspense to the whole thing. The italics worked wonderfully as well. I think the whole premise of this poem is very true to life and it's such a simple thing, but I haven't read many pieces on it. It reminded me of situations where a person latches on to another for no other reason than that person is there, and in this case, the person is harmful but still wanted. However, in the italics I got a sense of honesty so I imagine your poem isn't about what I perceived, but really that of an honest attachment.
Great job!

[Aven]

a lovely display of your great use of metaphore, well written. :)

[Poetry Girl]

very few words. it doesnt say much. but that is a feeling that you feel when some one breaks your heart. like you still need them, and you want them to stay. good job.

[Crinkle°]

oh, as sweet as a soap bubble.

[Bard Constantine]

So powerful in such short lines... this conveys a depth of emotion, a yearning, almost a pleading for that who means so much to stay. Absolutely lovely writing...

[Pax Analog]

Others sometimes conjure heart magic and often miss the boat.

Your delicate poem constructs a gossamer bridge from heart to heart, when the moment is kind and the stars aligned.

Gentle and sweet as a caress.

[D.R. Wilsey Jr.]

I almost wish this piece ended right before the italicized line. I feel like it would have a much greater effect on the reader. At least, it would for me. I love the simplicity and strong impact of those first four lines. Beautiful job none the less.

[Miss Coral]

This was a great piece... very pretty phrasing. I would consider lengthening this, even though I normally don't suggest that. I feel like this piece needs something added to it. I don't know why- but I do think it would benefit. Altogether, nice piece.

-Coral-