Wistful sedation

 

 

She slumbers

dreaming
in wine colored
aura
Painting landscapes
on glimmering
skies

As she sighs
Waiting for graceful,
dancing lies

To cover up the heart ache

 

He calls her serene
while
she falls over into
desolation

Drifting into a
floating realm of
...no where...

She knows thats where
she's going,
No one can hold back
that soft redemption

Waiting on the edge,
those fluttering highs
she whispers
and he backs away

flinching
at her last goodbye

Author's Note

eh...need to clean up the ending a bit.

Reviews

[alan peter kelly]

enjoyed another strong...delicate write...the stings in last goodbyes declines right down to nub of numb in time...like a drug that ceases to provide a high and one just utilises simply to stay as straight as can possibly remember its last occurance...you need not request i read your work honey...i will eventually get around to reading and reviewing it all...as with that of all those who have chosen to befriend me...i look after my own...and will read more anon :)

[sushi]

its awesome....

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh wow. I actually really like the ending! :O
I don't know what it is about your writing style, but I love it! I think you're like becoming my favourite on here! XD I could probably read your stuff for hours, honestly.
I love the dreamy quality of this, and I only got a hint of the main point at the beginning and it kept building up into like a quiet climax at the end, where she let go.
Amazing!

[FlawedByDesign]

The sedation implies to me a dream state, something surreal and you deliver on that notion. To me she seems like a wind that blows by in glimmering skies. As she blows by he shivers and flinches "at her last goodbye" as the wind dissipates.

That's me reading too much into it maybe :)

Well done.

[Bard Constantine]

I thought the ending was quite perfect... I enjoyed the 'killing him softly' feel to the poem... beautiful pain is how I'd describe it. Nicely done...

[writing mojo]

This is so great!
I love the flow of this.
It reminds me of ash, smoke instinctual
incense burning at both ends...
like reminiscing of love at point blank range
each word ring a shot to the head

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I actually really like th ending....

[Ramiz Ilham Khan]

I think the ending is great. The whole expression is good.

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

i agree that the endin is a bit off. not bad though.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

By a bit off, I mean that you made the ending a bit sudden...
It should have made something happened between the middle part and ending...