Desperation

I move through the halls of my mind as the memories echo
I try to understand
just understand

I hear myself calling out
so many words
so many feelings

And I cant let go long enough
to hear my heart fall
again
and again

Dropping, hearing my self run
I feel that cold breath
on my shoulder


So I breathe harder
waiting to see something

substantial


something worthwhile

Only the last moments
whisper on my tender breath
Singing softly that
Immense redemption
that ive sought these long cold years



When i look to your face all I see is your eyes

That cold green stare,
When you look right through me
and see
Every past memory
with disgust,
looking down upon me with
The deepest sorrow under your breath

I've reached down as far as I can to save this.
To look into you purely as your own mind,
and know as much as I ever can that I have found
Forgiveness


But I know no God
And I know no Evil

 Does this mean i know no good
I cant make up in my mind
The raucous words that need to be said.
I cant find the serene words that must be spoken

so I sit in silence
Waiting for the remainder of your thoughts,
So when you stare so lightly
asking me a simple question
I wont look at you with horror
and contemplate the world




I dont know what to think about when so many thoughts
Stalk through my mind like giants
Smashing stars,
I cant quiet my mind long enough to find the meaning of this.

Maybe somewhere someone will understand,
and I will be at peace,
if anything will ever make sense
to me again.

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

One empathizes w/the twists and turns of this piece, the search for emotional connection.

What horrifies me is how most people seem absolutely unqualified to give one another what they, yes, desperately, need -- a sense of soul connection in a hollow hive of pointlessness.

Yet we persist, feeling there HAS to be SOMEBODY to really connect with.

"Maybe somewhere someone will understand,
and I will be at peace,
if anything will ever make sense
to me again."

Flip a coin. Maybe, baby.

[Bard Constantine]

Truly enjoyable piece... it flowed perfectly, and the creative way that you express yourself in this is divine. You never cease to impress...

[Poetry Girl]

"I dont know what to think when so many thoughts
Stalk through my mind like giants
Smashing Stars,
I cant quiet my mind long enough to find the meaning of this"

I absolutely and completely looove this

[Love-shadowed Silhouett..]

This just did it for me, I'm subscribing to you, end of story! x]
p.s. LOVED IT!!!!!!!! amazing!

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

i love your poems and this is one of the best ive read

[alan peter kelly]

what you describe in this poem is the reason that i used to take drugs...it quietened the incessant questions and internal monologue....i was my own personal film noir...a junky sam spade treading the cracks in sidewalks / alleys / shadow realms...enjoyed this for it's intensity and affectation your words bring to a mind not easily affected...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem was strong. I felt trapped as I read.
Its really tight....almost claustrophobia.

[ShaneBerry]

i know the feeling, well written and formatted!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

truly touching~

[Aven]

yes, grammar inconsistences or not, you really take us on a spin here "through the halls of your mind" as you so beautifully put it. :)