Blame it all away

if you knew the real me then
youd know im dead inside.
if you knew who i was
then i wouldnt have to
hide
behind a blank and facaded
disguise
i wouldnt be running when i
should be able to find.
you here. looking
down at me
its all i can see
and my body shakes
under the pressure of your
illusions.
i fall down but no one is picking
me back up.
what you hold is a dillusion.
and i am nothing
but a discarded piece of waste
lieing on the pavement
burning up in the hot sun.
and it stinks like rotten
carcass

as these tears fall down my face.
nothing is the same
and im not sure if it was ever
what we thought it was.
you confuse me with your
theories
your idolated comforts.
nothing can change
and you wont let me be who
i am...

break out of the shell of
a dismembered life.
i dont know where we're going
to end up but i know
this isnt the whole plan all along
i cant map out how im going
to feel tomorrow
i hardly know how i really
feel today.
all i know is i have lain around
and wasted away
as the world turns to fast
for my eyes to percieve
every thing and every one
always seems to leave me

behind

i always have to rewind
fall back
and try to hear the clap
of the thunder when it rains
i might just go insane
one day

if i try hard enough ill find
that youre here with me
standing beside
me whispering
that every thing is what i
wanted it to be
in the beginning

There is nothing left within
me that can explain the depths
of the anonymity.
i am nothing
no one
and it has come to ruin everything
you thought was real.

im sorry
but im not your salvation.

Author's Note

another older piece.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to break into a life after too much pain had overtaken it. A powerful poem. In my time of life. Many good friends open up and allow the world a second chance with time for healing. I like the last line. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[M.Kilani]

I can tell you have less time to write lately, as you older poems are longer than the last ones.
A mind-opening piece rebellious in a way that can't be even labeled, I guess we both share the same view of "once you label me you negate me", and I believe that no one is able to know the true you unless dead !! it is amazing how truth can be the best disguise ever !! specially when turned to art, as for the artists create lies to tell truth.
I believe your perspective towards reality is beyond what is real !! and that is unique.
well done this one is going to my favorite !!

[Pax Analog]

Ah, I think you have outgrown this desperation.

It's a rendering of confusion, torment, someone failing you, yet hanging on to you, something that seems to have happened to someone else in some little corner of Hell.

The whole essence of dispelling emotional confusion is developing an appetite for to-the-bone insights. Even when one feels distraught, a significant calm part of one's awareness can make all the difference to insight, equanimity, and a rejuvenation of the romantic/humorous adventure of life.

The irony is that being nothing, no one in a spiritual sense is the key to being everything -- of course, that's quite a bit different from the calibrations of egoity.

So this piece is a purging. So be it.

[Bard Constantine]

As nurturing beings we sometimes forget that we cannot carry someone else for too long or we'll give out ourselves. A relationship is two sides giving equal portions, otherwise one will suffer while the other thrives. Nicely done, though it seems a bit less 'poetic' than most of your work, and more of an expression of feeling... which in itself is never a bad thing...

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Sometimes a man can do the worst thing by dawning the role of prince charming. His love may be perfect in his eyes, but sometimes he has to just shut up and let the comfort level of the situation dictate where he should stand. There are damsels in distress, but many can save themselves. Her testimony about having a problem is not a cry out for a savior. There were many other themes, but sometimes telling a person how great they are at the wrong moment can make you the focus of all their frustration. Sometimes...prince charming's role is simply to shut up and be there...if and when needed.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Sometimes we do tent to grew tired of trying making others happy...Because in my case I know that I'm not perfect n can never be one....
So the only thing that I could do is just waving goodbye and ignore them...not even when they put the blame...

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I realy like this. the emotion flows well throughout the whole piece. Very good.

[nono]

This is good just because it's an older piece doesn't mean nothing. You should always feel proud of any writing nicely done I love this!

[Cynthia]

Nice Work!

[Robin]

This piece shows your strong skills in inspection of the self- and expressing in away that we all understand .