Bag of Bones

 

 

Yeah you seem to find me weak

So I don't tell you how I feel

It doesnt solve anything

When you disregard whats real

But just keep it all close

Save it for another day

And maybe then it will

Make this one okay

 

Yeah you have a box of pennies

and I have a bag of bones

But neither of these things

Are ever gonna lead us home

 

So don't just pick your way

Choosing to greet the day

With an unoptimistic view

of every little thing

 

Just smoke your smoke

and find your dope

Set up the drums and that

new microphone

And I'll hum along with those

soft easy tunes

And we'll all get along while we're

singin the blues

Author's Note

trying to bring out a slight southern touch.

Reviews

[alan peter kelly]

it's lyrical...like a song...do you write music? perhaps you could create something original with some fandangled computer program that makes learning or at least creating easy...i have often thought to do that...anyway...enough about me,,,ha ha...i like the title and the way in which you utilised the term in the poem...I would suggest a few changes to make it a little more subtle on the eye and mind but overall this piece delivers what your note sets out to achieve...and the title tickles me because I'm a bit of a bag of bones myself...Good work Desiree...

[Sean M. Addams]

very interesting and creative ... detail was great in this ...overall I thought you did an amazing job on this ..fav lines ....Yeah you have a box of pennies

and I have a bag of bones

But neither of these things

Are ever gonna lead us home...great stuff!!

I really like this one a lot. I was sad that you lost the smooth rhymes by the end of it though. I wonder if this poem would benefit from being shorter and holding onto its great climactic rhymes? just a thought. Hope this helps. Thanks

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I must say I found this quite interesting... especially this part...

Yeah you have a box of pennies
and I have a bag of bones
But neither of these things
Are ever gonna lead us home

I see some deep abstract meanings in this poem.

[Robin]

you do explore the topic in writing and if I was reviewing this as a movie i would say great camera work

[Ed Hart]

wonderful, not the sentiment, of course, but your exploration of it