Lust

Lust

A Poem by Moonflower

I dare you

 

twist my arms in

spine cringing

fury

 

Burn me with your eyes

 

And I'll scream

pleading for release

...soft and sweet...

 

Your palm touches

my face

like silver pins

 

Tinkling down

my rib cage

I'm breaking

 

under your pressure

 

"dont die.." you whisper

with sedated longing.

© 2010 Moonflower


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Featured Review

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This is one of those writings that must be read multiple times... so far I saw lust as the title suggests, then an abusive relationship, and then...

Nicely penned. I enjoy it open interpretation with poems, that's the fun of reading it. You create great suspense with your sparse wording, excellent job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I felt like reading it again and again. The poem has been structured beautifully and you have been increasing the expectation on you with each of your write. The vivid topics you decide to come up with and the way each poem is ended is remarkable.

"dont die.." you whisper
with sedated longing."

Thanks for sharing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


"dont die.." you whisper
with sedated longing."

I could not have thought of a better ending. :)





Posted 14 Years Ago


*use of

Posted 14 Years Ago


this seems to have multiple meaning. but great useof word play.

Posted 14 Years Ago


You're luckly to have such a compassionate killer :) Nice read.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I struggle with describing passion like you can. The words were sweet like whispers of thankfulness in the darkness of the night. I like the pace and the ending. A beautiful description of desire and need. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


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KL
The briefness of this poem makes it seem like you're dropping in on a couple of seconds of someone's life, and then whoosh, you're gone. Kinda like when you're walking down the street and happen to overhear someone's conversation, and then the next instant you're gone and thinking what they could've possibly meant. This is exactly what it's like, as the closing lines don't really conclude anything at all but open up to more questions. A very interesting write, thanks for sharing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


lota lota feeling coming down on me with the situation and ironically they are similar

Posted 14 Years Ago


I truly like this piece, reminds me of a song called Motherfucking W***e by Dana Immanuel, more emotional and twisted than erotic.
well done dear.

Posted 14 Years Ago


And I'll scream
pleading for release
...soft and sweet...

that's my fav part, but alas another well written poem from you dear :)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on August 13, 2010
Last Updated on August 13, 2010

Author

Moonflower
Moonflower

Louisville, KY



About
Hello :) My name is Desiree. What brings me to this website is my love for poetry and storytelling. At this time I consider myself more of a poet, than a writer or author. I do not have the pa.. more..

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