Don't just bury me Alive

Put a gun to my head

and hear my heart pulse

like a drum

harder, faster, skipping beats

blood racing achingly through

veins, near bursting

I'm reaching the breaking point

and I think my mind has exhausted

all its strength

but I've never encountered

more than I can take

So push that pistol a little

closer to my face

Make me want this life

need it like I've never needed it before

air gasping in and out, lungs near

collapsing and I'm taking

the foil off the floor

burning it into my arms

Laughter echoes

like drums, I can hear you

strumming

but its so far, far away

I look down the barrel

but I don't feel any pain

So take my life

the way it is today

and I won't miss the sunshine

when I'm buried in my grave.

Reviews

[Bard Constantine]

Dark... a look at the feelings of depression and apathy... it feels at times like death would be a cool drop of water on our tongue when we're burning alive... these words certainly convey that feeling...

[Uniqe In Many Ways]

I like the poem.

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

Incredible poem! I really llike this, It flows incredible well and shows adifferent side of pain and longing for death. Love the last two lines! wish i could write like this!

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Des,
this one sounds really depressing...Gosh, I thought I'm the one who usually write a dark depressing writing...this one beat me up effortlessly ...O.O!!!

Starting from "Put a gun to my head

and hear my heart pulse" I had felt depression from it...
Nice one Des,...keep it coming..

[Miss Coral]

This is a gorgeous piece.. the concept of suicide is portrayed in a completely different light, and is beautifully portrayed. Powerful, and filled with an adrenaline-rush-like pace.

Great write.
-Coral-

[Ashesh]

This is awesome.. feeling of suicidal.
"and I won't miss the sunshine
when I'm buried in my grave."
.. I loved these lines.

[Sasha]

Crazy!
brilliant poem.
Love the idea.
Just don't try this at home huh? :P
Good Job.

[nono]

LOVE IT! That is very creative something that even I wouldn't have thought about nicely done!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This was a frantic story with amazing energy.
love the pace you set here.

[Norma M Sutton]

This reads fast like a heartbeat. Very nice.