Bait

You were pinned
to the backdrop
all wires and sound
a deafening ache
of desires unbound

and they laughed at
you simply
all snickers and snorts
as your body
was trembling
all weak, out of sorts

Did you rest in the gallows,
as the moon hung all
bright
When the water was shallow
on the edge 
of the night

Still nailed to the backdrop
all pins in the sky
A black hole was your mouth
and buttons for eyes

Author's Note

Nothing's worth Meaning, you are the mind.

Reviews

[Steve]

This is original, unique, and shows skill in your writing.

[Moonflower]

Thank you very much

[Steve]

This write makes me wonder about its meaning. I have read it several times.

[zainul]

Very rhythmic song like piece.
If you ever go for revising or rewriting certain stanzas,please give some touch on the first stanza as well.
You may make it six line stanza as the second and third to make them similar.
Best luck!

[Moonflower]

Thank you for the suggestive review, I appreciate it

[zainul]

You are most welcome.:)

[Hippy]

real cool imagery and a sad story. again your words dace down the page, bravo. my favorite part is your authors note, it is very true and meaningful

[Moonflower]

Thank you

[Rouillie Wilkerson]

This reads so very cleanly. I like the word arrangement as least as much as the word choice.

[Moonflower]

I appreciate that, thanks

[Moonflower]

Rich and so cleverly written ... Chapeau x

[Moonflower]

Thanks so much for reading and enjoying ^_^

Very welcome, my pleasure always :)

[dukovan]

A black hole was your mouth and buttons for eyes.
I like that...its interesting because in a song I wrote called "when we see what we missed." I use an very similar image. Very fond of this write.

[Moonflower]

Glad to know you have enjoyed it, I really liked that metaphor as well. Thanks for commenting :)

[eglantine]

Usually I don't like ryhming in poetry, but you pulled it off in this one, so yea for yoU! lol Not sure if the last stanza is needed--too much of a closure/pretty bow wrapping.

[Moonflower]

It's odd that you mention that, because I hesitated in adding that stanza. Thanks for reading and reviewing, very helpful indeed.

[Moonflower]

I'm thinking I'll go back and try to rewrite that last stanza, wish me luck

[eglantine]

luck!

[Moonflower]

Thanks haha

[Coyote Poetry]

Good to be able to read your poetry. Poem cut to the chase and I like the direct and honest tone to each statement. I read the poem twice for the pleasure of the words and your thoughts. A strong ending to the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Moonflower]

Good to hear from you, Coyote. Thank you for reading and commenting. :)

[Bard Constantine]

Des... how I have missed the razor blade writing that drips from your pen...

[Moonflower]

and how I have missed your lovely reviews. Please, do come back for more.

[Pól]

I love the ambiguity of this

[Moonflower]

Thank you, dear