Close My Eyes

 

 

 

Close My Eyes

The world passes as in silent picture frames,

My heavy steps, my grief proclaims.

Trees pass slowly, in a mocking drawl,

Time turning its unfeeling attentions from my desperate call.

My eyes wildly begging for a kind hand,

A warm strength to pull me from this hell I cannot withstand.

Where is my kind smile and loving eyes in this nonsensical world.

As I lay here in my shell, silently screaming, brokenly curled.

The piano hums my haunted weeping,

A bubbling scream sinisterly creeping.

My hand outstretched, trying to hold to anything but goodbyes,

My head falls, I close my eyes.

Alyssa M. Gandolfi

Reviews

[Rahul]

The piano hums my haunted weeping,
A bubbling scream sinisterly creeping.
My hand outstretched, trying to hold to anything but goodbyes,
My head falls, I close my eyes....this stanza's great and nicely penned and thoughts foresure came from youse heart...you got it, you made it.
you've really a great talent of writing...well, it's rreally an honor to read some youse stuffs cuz...i've been seeing that it's @2008..omg...meant i read this after 4 years..sounds awesome...:)
hey, you can write one song, one book on this same tittle "close my eyes"..it'd be great to read cuz.. i know you can write, you got some talent..indeed...i'd love to read if you write some kinda this on it :)
keep writing, loved your working way. 100/100

[Alyssa]

Thank you so much i really appreciate your review. Its been a while unfortunately since ive written anything, long overdo. Ive been working on a fiction novel for the past few years, but have been thinkin of taking a much needed break.

[Boris Jonathan Novak]

Beautifully written, and a true pleasure to read. The way you work with your words is stunning and so vivid. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your imagery and emotional flow.

[Orlando Murcia]

Nice imagery
I like your style and flow

Great work.

Orlando M

[Wondering Mind]

Well penned with wonderful flow.
"The piano hums my haunted weeping,
A bubbling scream sinisterly creeping."-- Great expression.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

I like this poem. You're able to convey that sense of loss...whether it be losing somebody close to you, or yourself in a sense of your own sanity. You get your point across well. The imagery is there and the sentiments are easily identifiable.

Where is my kind smile and loving eyes in this nonsensical world.
As I lay here in my shell, silently screaming, brokenly curled.

I really like that right there. I can see this SO clearly.

Nice write!

[Done]

I sense that the person describing their feelings in this poem has lost someone very close to them which has left them feeling empty but not quite willing to let go. It's very sad to read and you cant help but feel horribly sorry for the person in this poem... It makes you wish you could hold our your hand to help them somehow.

I really like this poem a lot. It hits home--touches you. It's very well written.
Thank you for a great read!
Josh

[hayleyiraina]

its very.. it reminds me of a willow tree.. not sure why... i like it though its a good thing to be reminded of lol