Just this Moment

 

Just this moment
a memory came
of days long ago
when time was
wild and carefree.

 

Just this moment
it was you
standing in splendor
amongst the flowers
covered in morning dew.

 

Just this moment
you laughed like before
hearty and healthy
not a care in the world.

 

Just this moment
you made me
shed a tear
at the image of
you so near.

 

Just this moment
I was alone
and you were gone
a memory once more.

Reviews

[Iz]

Some people may write for a lifetime and never accomplish what you have here. It's absolutely beautiful, Lor. I can sit for hours, days, weeks, or months on end and not put as much emotion in my entire poem. You have so much to offer people, I just wish people would take the time to get to know people. Thank you so much for giving me the chance through your poetry. It's a window that you have willingly opened to your soul, for those brave enough to come in.

[Jen]

To soften the blow dealt by brokenart, yes it is cliched imagery, but you've expressed your feelings as they've presented themselves to you. Sometimes, you just have to let your feelings write. If the poem is for you alone, then leave it alone. If you have written it for the enjoyment of others, then it would benefit from a good solid read through and a rewrite or two. It is a pretty poem. Thank you for sharing.

[theludus]

Heartfelt and sincere, yes. Does it make for good poetry? Not in my opinion, and since I don't know you or vice versa you'll have to take me on my word. It flows. However, there's not a stanza of it that isn't unoriginal because of the cliche phrasing, and or imagery. This is not to say that it's entirely bad. It's just not good.

Sorry.

DB

[samantha]

awesume poem lorrie....such beautiful words and of passion keep up the work hun

[Eagle Cruagh]

Memories. The most lucid case of
nostalgia, yet flowing and poetic in all
it`s imagery.

This is a very sweet poem, dedicated to
the love of someone in the past who`s love
lives on as alive and fresh as before.

Beautiful writing.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Gheeneil]

This is very nostalgic. Sad it may be but being able to reminisce good memories is a blessing. Nice one.

[Rusty]

It makes me think of someone special that I won't ever see again

[missysue]

Beautiful. Memories (for me) are the epitome of haunting.

[Ellen Hammond]

Very lovely, bittersweet write. You have written this so well it stirs of memories of my own. Great job!

[Jinx's Heart]

So heartfelt and bittersweet. You caught me immediately with your fluency within this poem. Excellent work!