Awake

cryogenic fun.

She was first aware of a hissing, the high-pitched whine of machinery.  It lasted forever; it was the only thing in the world, the only thing to exist--she must be the noise. As sound she flowed and soared to a pitch never before dominated, resonating with herself in the utter darkness.  She hovered there for a moment, at the highest point of human hearing, then dived lower and lower until she became a grinding, the natural sound of gear against gear.  She was loud and obnoxious and certain that she could drown out any noise that tried to challenge her.  Overjoyed, she beeped pleasurably then sighed soulfully as nitrogen gas was released from the chamber.

Wanting to sigh again she tried to draw breath but felt pain instead.  She panicked; her mind suddenly clear--she had not been the noise; she was the pain, she was only pain, and pain was the only thing that ever existed.  She tried to move, to leave this place of pain, only to discover that her body was a dead disobedient thing-- she might not have one if she wasn’t sure it was there.

She tried to breathe again, but there was only pain: it felt like icicles stabbing her through the chest.  She wanted to scream but couldn’t get the breath to do it.  A wave of wooziness passed through her, and she knew that she would die in this oppressing darkness under whatever tormentor had brought her here.

She heard the sharp creak of old hinges, but she was not the noise--she was only Agony. A hot gush of air reached out toward her embracing her face, smothering her as she tried to breathe it in.

Unable to stand, Agony pitched forward through what had once been a solid wall… no…it was a closed door… and now she was falling through it.

At once she stopped falling and gently lowered herself to the ground.  But… that was impossible… something else had stopped her fall, saved her from the ground… something else was in the room.

Her head was slightly raised making breathing less painful. She gasped deeply, like a fish out of water, having just spent what seemed like hours without air.  She was not Agony or noise. She was human and in the pre- mortal darkness that pressed itself upon her-- she was very afraid.

The moment stretched on endlessly, as if time had slowed down. She was in a moist, warm room. And it was so dark she couldn’t see an inch in front of her face.  The darkness was breathing heavily; she could hear it somewhere above her head, and the sound of it made her heart feel cold.

“Shh,” A deep slightly melodic voice whispered above her head, “D-don‘t worry” although the voice was fully grown there was something almost child like about it. “I-I am h-here with you, and you are here w-with me,” but then the voice left, leaving her alone to be held captive by the breathing darkness.

She strained to remember what had brought her to this place and why she was numb.  But her mind only seemed to work in short, slothful bursts, the rest of her time spent squandering in confusing terror. The first few minutes were ceaseless.

She could dimly remember that she had been sick, like a dream she had had a long time ago, and she had cried, and so had her parents, and her hair had fallen out… but she couldn’t remember why.  Had she died? The concept came eerily to her, more as a conclusion rather then a question.  If she had died… then where was she now?  This didn’t seem like Heaven… then, was this Hell? The thought made her feel queasy. 

Maybe this was another place, a sort of other darkness, outside of both of heaven and hell.

Agitation slowly welled up inside of her, a combination of the need to move and confusion. She was done with this. She wanted to go back home.  She wanted to know what was going on.  She was even beginning to wish that the voice would come back.  But she was alone with this infernal darkness and its breathing that continue to press itself upon her face, as tangent as a pillow.  She tried to squirm but still felt nothing.  The darkness just continued to breathe right above her head.  She was about to burst.

A soft frustrated sound, like two rocks grinding in her throat, pushed itself past her lips.

The voice returned but she found that she didn’t want it near her anymore.  “Its okay darling” it said quietly. Then something hot… too hot to the touch… stroked her right cheek softly.  She wanted to swat it away, to make it stop touching her, but still couldn’t manage the motion. “I know you are confused,” he whispered gently. “I’m still here,” he soothed, and the hot thing… a hand… it must be a hand… touched her cheek again.  “D-don’t try to move a lot, moving a lot would hurt- hurt your body.” He was talking fast now. “Y-you will begin to feel things soon. It will h-hurt, but I am here.” He stroked her cheek again, almost tenderly, “You will be-be able to talk again soon.” The hand left and he was silent, except for the heavy breathing in the darkness.

 “What do you mean?” she asked, disheartened by his vague ramblings, but the sound stuck in her throat and her jaw wouldn’t budge. She waited, still uncertain of herself and still unable to completely understand it. 

Suddenly, like some great switch had been thrown, she was in pain.  Her entire torso was pins, needles, and fire and she couldn’t move to escape it. She arched her neck and gritted her teeth screaming with all her might, but only a faint whine, like a dog begging for a treat, escaped her mouth.  She screamed and screamed, but there was no relief to her pain. 

Two uncomfortably warm, spider-like hands clutched her face and his breath was suddenly hot on her forehead. “I’m here,” He sputtered, “S-s-shh, D-don’t worry,” it was his fault she was in pain, he must hate her, and she hated him for it.   “T-the p-pain will pass,” he hissed into her face.

The fire consumed her, radiating outward to each limb. Every inch of her was only pain, and she couldn’t feel or hear him anymore.  She was only Agony again.  She screamed and screamed through a strained and locked jaw.

Slowly, after what could only be eternity, the pain subsided once more. As though the switch had just been turned down.  She was aware of his voice, like quiet murmurings at the back of her mind; he was gushing forth a continuous stream of supposed comforting stammerings “It-its okay, I-I’m here, the p-pain will p-pass, it just means your nerves are un-undamaged.”

Her muscles relaxed, and tears started streaming down her raw, itchy eyes.  What was this place? He continued murmuring close to her face and holding her in place with those large, hot hands.

The pain subsided, leaving her weak and sick.  She was exhausted and would have fallen asleep if he wasn’t clutching her.  He was probably doing it to torment her.  She twitched dimly detesting him for it, and he released her quickly as if the movement had hurt him.

She swallowed, trying to work some life into her mouth. “W-wh-where am I?” she had trouble forming the first couple words.  Her voice was fragile and strained--she almost doubted that he could hear her, but now she was thinking clearly and she needed to know what was going on.

“In a c-cryogenics center,” he told her softly. “Do- you know what that means?”

The word sounded familiar and she thought she knew it but couldn’t bring the meaning to mind.

“When you d-died they froze you, for when science could help.” It took a moment for what he had said to sink in.  Had she really died? It seemed like a distant abstract idea; she must be dreaming, dimly she remembered that you don’t feel pain in a dream, but it seemed like the only explanation, that this was some strange figment of her mind.

But why would she dream such a dark place like this? It was oppressing, and its weight was only lightened when she felt considerable pain. Why would she make it like this?

“Why is it so dark?” The question came with out much forethought.

“Because there is no light,” he said as if it should be obvious.

“I know that!” She defended breathily.  Why would he give her such a stupid answer? Of course there was no light if it was dark.

“You do?” he seemed surprised by her response. A moment passed, “Oh… no you don’t.”

She didn’t say anything as an uncertain feeling boded in her heart.

“There is no sun or star light, no fire, no e-elec-electricity,” he told her slowly, a matter-of-fact tone in his voice. “It is dark every where on earth.”

Was he fooling her? It was a foreboding thought. Had he done this to her somehow? Kidnapped and drugged her, keeping her here for unforeseeable dark purposes?  She felt a wave a nausea overcoming her.  Green spots floating in her vision, she felt a compulsion to prove him wrong.  Just walk right out of the room into the sunlight.  She strained to get up but only managed a slight squirm.  Tears flooded her eyes.  What if he was evil?  What if he had her?

“Oh, d-don’t pout.”  He begged her, his voice suddenly weak as hers, “Please don’t worry,” he soothed softly “I-I’ll take care of you.” she jerked away from him and he backed off hastily. Yet there was something so sincere in his words that she had a hard time not believing him.

“Why am I here?” she asked, almost hoping that he would prove his story.

“B-be-cause there is n-no more elec-tricity,” he told her, confused that she still didn’t understand.  “Your pod couldn’t even th-thaw you all the way.” Was that it? No more electricity?  The notion of it seemed so cold to her.  Tears trickled down her cheeks.  It was so real now-- she was not about to wake up to find it all a funny dream.

“D-don’t c-cry,” he leaned in, his breath hot and close on her forehead again, “I will explain.” He said it like he was soothing a small child.

She bit her lip and struggled to hush, desperately wanting to know what was going on.

“When you d-died,” he stammered, “n-nations were fi-fighting over min-minerals on the bottom of the ocean.” He paused for a moment.

She asked, “But why is it dark?” There was still a tremor in her voice.

“Hush,” he soothed brushing a lock a damp wispy hair out of her face. “I’m ex-explaining.” Without another pause he delved right in: “hu-humans branched out ac-across the universe but they used up al-all their re-resources, we w-were  growing too fast.” He was stammering worse then before, “and p-people need them to s-survive, so the sci-sci-scientists told pe-people to take basic el-lements from the stars, just a-a li-little. And it worked so ev-everybody did it, but th-then sa-something went wrong.  And all the st-stars went out, with-with in twenty ya-years.” He was speaking faster now so that his words slurred together,  “A-and with no sun th-there is na-nothing else n-no w-wind al-all the water set-settles in-in the ocean, there is no wa-way to make e-electricity, no w-way to get or-or make f-food, and there were b-ba-bombings, and every-one di-died; they left me a-alone.” There was real pain in his voice now,  “A-and then I was a-alone for a long time, but then I found you and you looked like an angel you were so beautiful in your own sphere of light, and I saved you and now we’re not alone.” There was a sudden calmness about him, which seemed less real than what he had just said. Hesitantly he added, “And now we won’t have to die alone.” She realized he wasn’t stammering anymore.

“Are we going to die soon?” She felt too calm for it to be real, it had to be a dream, but it was too real for it to be so.

“We have maybe a week of food and water left,” he told her, too serene for what he had just said. “I’ll take care of you; don’t worry.” They were silent for a moment. “Try to sit up,” he suggested. “I think you are almost back to normal now.”

“Okay.” Gingerly, she strained against gravity, only managing about a half a foot.

“That’s good,” he shifted so that she was leaning against his chest “you’ll be able to walk by tomorrow.”

They were silent again, she was shivering minutely now, just realizing how cold it was.  He put his arms around her, to help warm her.  She felt safe and comfortable in his strong arms.

She wouldn’t mind dying.  It was funny to think that her parents had worked so hard to preserve her life this long… for this.

“What’s your name?” she asked tranquilly.

“Marcum,” he told her softly his mouth right next to her left ear, “Do you remember yours?”

What a silly question! Of course she could remember her own name, it was…  it was…what was it? “No,” she said softly, a lot less disturbed by the notion then she should be.

“A side effect of the stasis,” he murmured. “It will come back to you soon.”

“Really?” she asked her brow crinkling slightly with interest.

“Yes,” he promised, there was a smile in his voice.

 

Author's Note

any comments welcome. please comment.

Reviews

[Meradee]

Wow...a little confusing, but still really good. End of the world type of thing, only in the perspective of someone who've been asleep or frozen for who knows how many years....interesting...
Pepper...