Genuine Passion

I would love nothing more than to hold you once again.
 
In my arms there is no better feeling.
 
Oh how it feels to have your hand in mine.
 
How I love the sound of your sweet, sweet voice.
 
I love the way you say my name when you speak of our love.
 
How you talk with such genuine passion.
 
The way you look into my eyes, I can see.
 
I can see your love for me.
 
Like a kid on Christmas waiting for that last gift.
 
Waiting to unwrap and see the treasures inside.
 
The eyes filled with anticipation and joy.
 
The joyous laugh you share with me.
 
Oh how I can not ignore it.
 
She makes me shed a laugh of my own.
 
I bare a smile every time we share a glance.
 
There’s so much to say, so much to do.
 
But there is nothing more that I’d rather do than sit with you.
 
Sit with you as as the fireplace grows with envy at our intimacy.
 
The fire we hold inside of us, the flame that keeps up together.
 
The flame of love, oh how I adore you.
 
Babies just know I love you so much.
 
We just have to let the fire burn. 
  

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Genuine passion is difficult to find, and impossible to fake, I have found. When it is right, you know it is right, and when it isn't, the tone can be felt like a summer shower...sudden and impossible to escape. You write with a fervent hand, which I like. I feel the emotion, and I think the flow of this one is quite nice. My only suggestion might be to explore a little more imagery and similie -- for instance, in the line "Sit with you and let the fire burn.", you might try something like "Sit with you as the earth splits and we are set ablaze". I don't know...just play with some different images. Overall, though, just suggestions, you really have a piece with good bones and honest emotion here. I enjoy reading your work :)

[Derek Smith]

Thanks that's helps a lot. I'm glad you like it must be doing something decent lol

[Dye]

I love how you wrote this, where each line has hints of the previous line. A very passionate read. I really like what Girl Friday suggested too, although I never would have thought of that on my own.

[Derek Smith]

ya her suggestion was really good, but at the same time and maybe I am wrong but I feel like putting it the way I said helps get a real picture. when I hear ablaze or something like that I think a huge fire burning super hot, but when I say sit with you and let the fire burn you get a picture of sitting on a couch with a woodstove fire, more of a real image.. but yes I could do it both ways

[Dye]

That is a really good point, plus nothing wrong with how you have it. I like keeping things simple and what you just said is completely valid.

[Derek Smith]

thank you, its so nice to get feed back and actual help then people just reading my stuff and being like ya its good bye lol

[Dye]

You're welcome. I hear what you are saying, I don't mind the "it's good, bye" type, because if someone just likes it I want to know, but if they see something that can be fixed I want to know. But I feel like people don't want to hurt feelings so just walk on by which is too bad. Sorry, don't mean to ramble. LOL

[Derek Smith]

hey rambling is cool I am a good listener lol..or reader in this instance

[Dye]

Ha ha... that made me laugh. LOL

[Derek Smith]

it happens to the best of us lol

[Laminators Dubai]

it is genuine passtion....good job!
thanks for sharing this write...^^

[Derek Smith]

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks