Apple Crisp

lol one of my favorite desserts

I love nothing more than to walk into the kitchen

on a cool summer afternoon

and smell the sweet, cinnamon apple fragrance

floating from nana's oven

to wait that long hour

and watch carmel drizzle

over the top

let it cool for a half an hour

a scoop of ice cream....

or a swirl of cool whip

fork in hand...

slowly floating towards my lips

and as the sugary taste invades my mouth

almost better than sex...

I

can't wait to have another bite.

Author's Note

It's been a while i know i'm rusty...but give it to me straight.

Reviews

[Essence London]

I love when poets write nostalgically. This adds another facet to our work. . . History. We are creative historians.

[dreaming dame]

:) mmmmm, love apple crisp. Very well put. :)

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

That sounds really good. Now I'm craving it. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Soul Magic✯]

wow you make that apple crisp sound so delectable now *LOL* cant beat homemade. you did a wonderful job with this piece... i enjoyed it. :)

[Starr]

Dang girl, you got my mouth all watering...lol. Apple crisp is one my most favorite desserts. Apple anything actually. Your nana be doing her thang huh? Nice write poet. :~)

[Rosa Sophia]

This is cute! (I'm actually being honest.) I really clicked on this poem because I'm starving, and I saw "Apple Crisp" and thought "Mmmm." I'm always giving scathingly honest reviews on this site and trying my best to delicately tell people what they should change, but I really like this a lot. There's only one thing... as I started to read this, it made me feel like I was going back in time... perhaps to a time before Cool Whip... when Grandmothers made everything from scratch. So if I were you, I would eliminate the bit about the Cool Whip because of the time period... the ideas... the images that this piece otherwise invokes. I liked how you separated "I" and made it a separate line. It implies a nice, breathy pause... as though you're licking your lips in anticipation. :-p

I often find that many people overwrite things... they make everything too complicated. I'm always preaching simplicity. I really like this because it's simple. Nicely done.

I also agree with Rachel, I did think that the mention of Nana didn't really mix with the sex reference at the end.

[Sorry Infamous]

Warm, like the memory of my abuela. Rich in texture and in imagery... light hearted.

[Thinker1]

I really enjoyed this poem. It really showed how the littlest things in life can make you so happy. Thank you for writing this.

[Karen Ingram]

An ode to indulgence. :o) I'm curious, though - why describe a summer afternoon as "cool?"

[Rachel Knight]

I liked it! It really evokes memories of homemade apple crisp fresh out of the oven.

I think that the idea of home cooking and "nana's oven" conflict with the erotic bit at the end, so I'd either play up the sexiness throughout or cut the sexual line.