This is nice Danni, visual and passionately projected with vivd emotional imagery
beautiful first draft, minus the few grammer and spelling errors,
I think the details came through, conceptual in design, the last stanza
would have remained perfect in pattern consistancy if it were two lines.
metaphorically well thought out, keep up the nice work.
Ohhh, I like this. First of all, great metaphor. Love is really like playing with fire, sometimes, and it burns just as badly. Secondly, I like your use of alternating lines with red and black. The poem reads almost as well without the red lines as it does with them. To me, the black lines read like a speech someone is saying to me, while the red lines are like the inner thoughts the person is thinking while speaking to me, but doesn't want me to hear. Everyone has dark thoughts like that, and I think you played this very well. Congrats!
This is both cleverly written and exquisite in expression... I love the way presented this poem. So much depth of emotion, your talent is shines bright. A pleasure to read.
I think we have all been in some situation where our inner moth surfaces and we cant keep out of the fire.
I like the way this is set up, as well as the message, its like, speaking and then afterthought, like, when you pause at the end of one sentence and punctuate it with a thought or a metaphor.
This is a very well writen poem. A lot of imagery and symbolism and tone. Good write!!!!! You have a great style of conversating in your work,very inviting
This is nice Danni, visual and passionately projected with vivd emotional imagery
beautiful first draft, minus the few grammer and spelling errors,
I think the details came through, conceptual in design, the last stanza
would have remained perfect in pattern consistancy if it were two lines.
metaphorically well thought out, keep up the nice work.
HI!!!! It's been a LONG time and a lot has changed. I think the only thing that hasn't changed is my want to be a published author.
I typically write erotica, but i'm know to dibble and dabble in .. more..