Inner Turmoil

Before i entered the relationship i'm in, i was dating a guy, whom i had already dated in the past, and it didn't work out. It didn't work out this time either, but i thought i was pregnant and...thus this poem

*Inhale*

It's funny how

the decisions you make..

come back to you

one careless mistake

has me thinking my life is through

how can i hide behind

oops and i forgot

it's my responsibility

because one life's all i got

not that if this test is positive

'cause for a child, i can come through

it's just really, i'm not so sure

i wish to be forever tied to you

maturity is not your strength

i didn't take time to think

now i'm in a bathroom

holding my breath

two minutes, eight seconds

left

wondering if there is going to be a new addition

to this fucked up equation

damn my naïveness

and your good persuasion

you already have kids,

and said the next one

would be from

the woman with whom

you wish to share your life

and you've already proven to me

i'm not meant to be your wife

you fear commintment

and i fear letting go

can you believe how times moving so slow

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

*exhale*

thank god i'm not the one

Author's Note

always wrap it up! lol. That's the message. Anyways i want thoughts opinions etc etc. Oh and tell me why you think i made some words red.

Reviews

[Dani California]

Excellent poem! And an awareness tool
for others to be responsible when sexually
active -- pregnancy is a serious life altering
matter!

I love the way you bolded certain words in
color -- in this order --

Inhale
Decisions you make
Careless mistake
oops
forgot
my responsibility
not so sure
forever tied to you
time to think
damn my naiveness
share your life
i'm not meant to be your wife
commitment
letting go
exhale
--thank god I'm not the one-

Absolutely brilliant!
That in itself is a flow.... !

Excellent work Danni!
Going into my favs. :)

Peace, Dani

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Wonderfully creative, I enjoyed this poem to no end. You have set the bar for all the other contestants. I read the words in read and got the message. Again well done.

Thank you for entering may contest and good luck to you.

[Angel's Lady]

Powerful message! Very excellently written! RED: To emphasize your point, perhaps? Please do tell!

[Li Li]

WOW! Quite the roller coaster you presented here. This is REALLY good! I am impressed by the rhythm and use of words. YOu painted such an image that many women can relate to. That little stick... even though they give you quick results, it is as if that moment of time as the lines are being awaited to appear, anxiety is overwhelming.

You created a great voice in this. One that creates a strong presence.

Wonderful job!
~Li

[Collette]

damn girl, that was heavy. I dig it, though. It's got a killer flow and a strong sense of emotion tied into it. These lines were amazing:

"two minutes, eight seconds
left
wondering if there is going to be a new addition
to this fucked up equation
damn my na�veness"

saucy, saucy lines. I'm not sure why you bolded some words in red, but I assumed it was for them to be read separately...sort of like a mini-poem inside of the poem. Either way, I really dig your style. You have a way with words, lady. for sure.

[☮]

Lol... this was hot. Suspenseful. Enjoyed it. Red would men you're preg.