And then he enters.

And then he enters.

A Story by Abd-afeez
"

Just by chance beyond expectation lets see how brown got his problem solved.

"
He sit alone in despair. He look at his rough shoe lace. He nod his head in great sympathy. His stomach stings with hunger. It has been 5 month ago since he last had a full happy day. He entered his office that day the usual happy self he was. He passed by his secretary and he seemed bothered by his grumbly reply. He moved on to his chair and settled for the days job. And Then he entered. The messenger dropped a note for him. It was a sack letter. He couldn't believe it. He has been so diligent and he wouldn't expect being caught up in this. A necessary restructuring make this inevitable! says his boss. He left office head down with full sadness. It has been five month he has been fighting to survive. Today has been so tough having not eaten anything since morning. he got a bad news of an application rejection. Too much for him to bear. ........and then he enters again. This same messenger with another brand new note. It a reinstatement letter. Wow! What a relief. Another necessary expansion is a reason for this. Says his boss. What an irony!

© 2009 Abd-afeez


My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Reviews

I think you need to work on your tenses in this writing. Also I think this would be more forceful if you used proper nouns instead of the pronouns all the way through, because they can get confusing. I also think you should explain the situation better and drop the last sentence. I'm sorry if this sounds too harsh, I'm not trying to be, just trying to help you get the most out of your writing.

Posted 16 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

115 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on January 13, 2009
Last Updated on January 16, 2009

Author

Abd-afeez
Abd-afeez

Ibadan, Nigeria



About
Am just so creative and prolific. Am from south western nigeria. And am currently studying biochemistry. i really love the science world. Here you see a piece of ink on paper and on it you see result .. more..

Writing