A Writers Cafe Romance (or 'How To Be A Great Writer')

 

*Make many cyber friends who will tell you how great you are: both as a writer, and as a person.

 

 

*Write poems. Make them rhyme, because your friends will need these hand rails in place.

 

 

*Use words like 'zephyr', 'gossamer', 'fervent', and never skimp on the butterflies!

 

 

*Write only in metaphor, to prove how bona fide your genius really is!

 

 

*Get zealous.

 

 

*Sign up for the mysterious "simple simon says senryu" retreat, atleast three times.

 

 

*Rip off a video from You Tube and have it play automatically when someone comes to read your post. Because a surprize music video that plays too loud is exactly why we come to view your posts.

 

 

*Never practice your craft by trying new genres, or types. FYI: essays are filthy imposters; and experimental is far too obscure. Stories are dicey; and books are a preposterous notion.

 

 

 

*If you absolutely must write stories or books, make sure you write about zombies, and demons, and all things sinister.

 

 

 *Once you've dabbled one time with a story or book, come running back to poetry. (Do not forget necessary hand rails. It's a matter of public safety)

 

 

*If worse comes to worse, write some lines about how much you love your cyber friends. Cut those lines in half on the page to make them look like a soul-deep poem, and await your due adulation.

 

 

*Write about leaving this site; how you're closing your account. Receive anticipated objections doused in wonderful superlatives, and do not leave this site, or close your account. (This manoeuvre is imperative: it gives you that dramatic edge)

 

 

*Happy "everafter" (or while stocks last)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[RRai]

I'm new to this site, so I don't get all of it, but I'm very zealous of this essay; I'm fervent 'bout that. I mean, I wish I writ it. Very cool Denham.

[steppenwolf]

Extravagant, powerful, lovely. I adore this and will keep it in mind.
Steppenwolf

[Hannah]

Love it!! Need I say more?

[KeeD]

Got some valid points, maybe with a couple of pictures and some music this piece would get more views? I don't know, maybe. I believe everything written is a form of art, whether it be good, bad or overused it's left to personal preference and opinion. You might detest some, maybe most of the writers on here for their methods but that doesn't necessarily mean they lack talent. Appreciation is given not only for work done but the methods through which it is acquired. Presentation is key, be it through visual stimulation or audibly.

[Denham Cole]

Oh my, my...

[KeeD]

That seems like a whole personal matter between you both I was just commenting on the piece and my opinion on the cafe, if the author wants i'll remove my original comment as I don't want any drama.

[Denham Cole]

No. The author does not want. If there is any drama at all, I know nothing of it. Though it usually does only take one... CM: no drama here with me.

[Eddie Phillips]

LOL This will be my last comment to you because apparently the people on here are all plebeians. If you think that writing is all about who and what you know then you will never ever be a true writer. In answer to your reply that you left I know more about the industry then you can possibly know. As I have stated in my earlier post to you there were some good points made. Yet I think you are one of those that sits on the porch and complains that the people walk by your house. I thought you were being constructive but your analogy of me being a "fly" tells me more about your inner workings. I never understood why people live to cause disillusion and contempt. I guess it rings true to the saying: Some people just want to see the world burn! I will not comment again. You seem to enjoy meaningless castigation. In it all I hope you will be blessed on your journey.

[Denham Cole]

I didn't call you a fly... I think you mean to be referring that Kleos fellow?

[Eddie Phillips]

Then my apologies to you sir. My comments are not directed at you. It is sad that people are so pusillanimous with their thinking that they would attack people on another persons post. Sadly that is the current state of the world. I still think some of the points in the piece had merit. They were not insulting on a personal level and gave some real observations. I may not agree with all of them but you had a few good points.

[eatme]

Gee, you can catch flies with vinegar.
Sells a screenplay huh.
I don't think I have even heard of an agent who TAKES screenplays. As in don't bother, the industry stopped working that way years ago. That is all in house or adapted from popular books.

Some people just want to see the world burn! - Batman's Butler

:) Hates being ignored by untalented amateurs I don't read. I do wonder though, what is it like being such a small minded coward, that a fellow ape of this planet can emotionally break them when they witness the art. Strange concept. Denham Cole makes an artistic statement, and the scurrying little apes all shatter on it like bugs on a windshield. Pain is the road to improvement. Only fat people cry when called fat. If criticism hurt you, it was probably true. Truth is painful. I have a character in a novel somewhere who says to the effect, all my many friends each drag me down as they rely on my strengths, but it was my great enemies that made me dig deeper into myself to then become more than I was before. Then later, much later, after you have burned your defeated enemy and have a trophy of them on your mantle, you sigh and remember them as a brother and truest friend. Small weak little people afraid of pain. Quite pathetic.

I do notice quiet clearly: the people who are obviously the smartest and the most talented are the same people who need to be censored. But when you study that from the viewpoint of the untalented and less intelligent, it can't be possible that they see their own duplicity. "Why can't people smarter and more talented than you, become smarter and more talented so that they conform to your behavior?" Perhaps the answer is, your rules, your demands, your needs, your regulations, your ways and methods are... as unintelligent and untalented as you are. I no more need to force my subjective values are a fellow human than I need to force a chimpanzee to wear pants. Each organism does what it is in its nature to do. It neither offends nor disturbs me. In fact, it is the one among many that behaves uniquely, that is the only one worthy of my attention. When I admire a FLOCK of mediocre failed poets, I am looking at the flock. No individual part really matters enough to give a name.

[Eddie Phillips]

If art and participation provide only pain and humiliation why write? I think that you have valid points. (except the use of the word zephyr, its hard to get that word to work in a poem) I hope people write to be more then just a WC writer. I have been writing for years and this is only one of the places I post things on. I write and sell screenplays too. If people only come on here to fit in then that is their issue. In truth, it doesn't really matter. I myself wrestled with adding pictures to my writing until my wife pointed out that some people are visual learners and photos and music stimulate their ability to absorb the information. I get where you are coming from and you make some good points.

[Denham Cole]

I get where you are coming from, too. That's why I never post my more 'serious' writing here, either. People apparently love "entertainment" around here, so...what's that they say about peanuts and monkeys? I digress... Eddie, in all seriousness: god bless.

[eatme]

Maybe you could add, always put a witty little picture with your writing, because writing can't speak for itself without a witty little picture.

[Denham Cole]

Yes. You're right!