Wings Shading the Sun

I never understood her. She sat right there in the row before me in class, her lips motionless, her voice silent. Her eyes blank, empty, I almost wondered if she was even alive. Michael and Rob always teased her. In class, they sat beside her, knocking things off of her desk. She always leaned over and picked her things back up, she never complained...she'd never shown any signs of even the slightest indifference.

They called her names all of the time, and I could never tell if she heard them. The teacher always called on her, but she always sat there in her desk...staring blankly back at her. She's been in my classes for 4 years now, but she never spoke a single word. It was honors English, but I questioned to myself if she could even speak english. The teacher would only call upon someone else, as the girl continued to observe her with that blank, dull stare.

There was a day before class, I mentioned her to Mike and Rob, my best friends. They never answered my question, but I never knew why.

"That girl in English, does she even have a name? The teacher never calls it, but she's always in class." I was changing from another, uncomfortable subject.

"Isn't her name mute?" Rob laughed. "Who cares? The silent queen doesn't. She acts like she's some kind of retard."

"Silent queen?"

"Yeah, silent queen. She's too damn arrogant. She thinks she's too good to speak to anyone. She thinks she's--" I cut Mike off.

"--I can't say I see that...I think something's really wrong with her. She's not arrogant...she's miserable..."

That day in class, Rob hit her in the head with a pin he'd thrown at her. Only her jet black hair moved, giving way to the pen as it bounced off her head, onto the desk of the boy before her, Brandon. He snatched the pen instantly, like expected. He was one of the biggest people in the school, and he was proud of it. Rob flinched as he turned to her, his voice booming out and momentarily silencing even the teacher.

"This yours?--"

"Brandon, if you don't mind..." Mrs. Morts tried to assume authority.

"Hey man, let it go. She ain't even threw it," I spoke out, my voice clearer than I expected.

Brandon's gaze fell sharply upon me, disregarding the teacher. He rose from his desk, and Morts sits idle, speaking threats everybody knew she would never carry out. She's too lazy for the paperwork, after all.

"This damn thing yours boy?" His hard gaze sent a shudder through me. I've never been very confrontational, I'd come to avoid it...

"Yeah...I was tryin' to pass it to Rob."

I felt my earring, a nervous habit, and let my hand rub the rough, worn texture of my desk. I looked at the girl, who remained silent, staring at the board, and scribbling notes down neatly on her paper. Michael slapped her in the back of the head, rising abruptly.

"You gon' just stay quiet!? He's helpin' you out, girl!"

"Don't worry 'bout it, she's alright." He would've let her take the fall for his own actions...

She still had not budged...had not anything. Brandon was muttering to himself, but he sat down. Rob smirked at me, but I didn't know why. The teacher began to yell at us, about 'children these days', and 'nobody got no respect'...nobody cared. Nobody ever cared.

"Hey Morts, ain't we s'posed to be takin' a test?" Rob spoke out, and a few students snickered as she began sputtering on her words.

At the end of class, me, Rob, and Mike waited at the bus stop. They would miss their bus if they stayed too much longer, but if they did, they just went on home with me. I guess it didn't really matter.

"Yo, man, you feelin' her ain't ya?" Rob asked me suddenly, out of the blue.

"Who told you that?" The question was senseless to me...I knew who he was referring to, what lead to that conclusion?

Michael suddenly laughed out, catching on to our topic. I didn't even know her name, how could I feel anything for her? I soon found myself laughing at the ridiculous question.

"Ain't I with Sharon?" I asked, now amused.

"Yeah, but you ain't never stuck up for Sharon." Michael pointed out.

"She ain't never needed me to." I responded quickly, and truthfully.

I looked up and saw the girl, three boys were around her, blocking the way to her school bus. She tried to walk forward, they pushed her, and she stumbled back. As she tried to walk around them, they moved in the way again. I could tell it wouldn't end peacefully.

"Hey, gimme a moment..."

"What's up?" Rob inquired, and Mike's sudden silence enforced

"I'll be right back."

I walked over to her, as one of the guys grabs her by the arm as she tried to walk past. She didn't struggle, she merely stood like a doll in his grasp. They didn't notice me there, as they grabbed a fistful of her hair and snatched, forcing her face up to them. This wasn't anything unlike before...many people ganged up on her. She never fought, she never said anything...so it never broke into a full fight. She always had bruises to show. I could never understand why she would never speak up for herself...or why she didn't seem bothered. I felt the same, wondering how she could stomach their meaningless bitterness towards her, and spoke out, more sharply than I intended.

"Hair pullin' lil' pansies! I dare you to try that with me!"

I startled the hair puller. He let her go, but she now stayed there, her blank eyes now focused on me. The guys all look at me, taking pride in 'strength in numbers' just like a man who'd strike a female would.

"And who're you, nosy son of a--"

"--Don't worry who I am, back the hell off the girl, what she done to you?"

"Why's that your business, d****t?" The hair puller spoke out, as he started towards me.

"Damn, man! The bus, hurry up!" They all suddenly took off, running towards the bus. Her bus.

She stood silently as the bus drove past her, one of the boys threw something from the window at her, it barely missed. She looked at me for a moment, her dull gaze was sharper than I expected. It pierced me through, hitting my soul and scanning my thoughts, I imagined. My voice failed me, as for the first time I heard her's.

"I don't need your help."

Her voice sounded naturally soft, and weak. It was the only thing to display that she was truly awake, and not a mechanical being. Her voice could've been pretty, it could've been melodic, had it not been so sharp, had it been different words she'd spoken.

"Excuse me?" I found myself wanting to snap at her dirt poor gratitude instantly.

"Thank you, but I'm fine."

"No. No you're not."

It was now, for the first time something more than normal slid into her eyes. Her face was obscured, as she lowered her head, and I failed to understand what she was trying to hide. I dropped the usual talk, I wasn't trying to fit in, and I wanted her to know how serious I was.

"I know you don't know me, and I know we're not friends. I can't stand watching you go through this, though...why don't you ever say something to defend yourself?"

"If I bothered, things would only get worse. If I say something back, then I'm gonna get hurt. Everette, Desmond, and Darell are usually on the bus every day. I don't care what they do, they can all, go to hell."

I walked towards her, lifting her head gently. I knew she wouldn't fight against me, she doesn't fight against anyone. Her eyes weren't blank, they were firm, and resolute, and defiant. Somehow, I pissed her off...I was only trying to help...

"I'm sorry, I can't agree. Sure, they're annoying, but...you can't make it with that attitude."

"You don't know me, who are you to say that?"

"Stop being so damn difficult!" I raised my voice, by accident. Her demeanor grated on my nerves and my face burned with irritation. For a moment, she shrank away from me. "I know, okay? Everybody has their cross to bear. My dad's supposed to be getting out of jail soon, and he made mom promise I'd go see him. I hate him, ever since he shot that man he thought was flirting with my mom. I have to be nice to him because he's my father, but he's also a murderer. I hate him. I have to be nice, and let things go. If I don't, they'll accumulate. You can't hold the whole damn world on your shoulders!"

"I'm sorry...you're right." She sighed. "I don't mean to seem like I'm carrying a grudge. I thought I was doing my best to hide it."

She looked at me, and there was something different in her eyes, something softer. Her voice was softer as she spoke, and her hair had come into her face, revealing a small beauty. I'd never thought she was pretty before.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." I thought of a different subject, quickly, "You have a ride home?"

"I was gonna walk."

"Where do you live?"

She looked away from me for a moment, her hair covering her face. Her eyes peered back up at me, reading mine for sincerity. I already knew what she'd try to say, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you for talking to me. I--"

"--I don't mind, I promise. Or will your parents get angry at you?"

"...They won't mind. Thank you, Jordan."

"It's no problem..." I stopped, embarrassed. What the hell was her name?

"Oh, sorry--my name's Maria, by the way. Thank you for your kindness."

"It's no problem. I figured you could use a friend."

Author's Note

Sorry, this computer keeps trying to reformat it...
and I'm sure the grammar isn't that well done, either.