The Last Time I Got High (Literally!)

a night of acid horribly gone wrong...

 

I was sixteen years old when I first experimented with acid, or what it is formally known as, LSD. Before then I did experiment with drugs, I had smoked pot and tried a few prescription pills, but it was the first time that I had ever did anything this intense. It was on a Tuesday night when I had gotten off of work; my parents were on a cruise somewhere in the tropics that night, so I decided to go over to my ex-girlfriend’s house. Yes, for the record I was planning on getting high, but I thought it was just going to be simply smoking a joint. But, instead of weed she had something else, two manna strips of what she called “orange sunshine.” I didn’t realize it was going to be so crazy, I figure it would like taking ‘shrooms, just your normal “what the f**k!” trip, but no it was much more than that.

She and I were sitting in her room when we dissolved the strips into our mouths. Afterwards I lit up a cigarette, the wrong way. But, that was only the beginning. And if you are asking, yes I smoked it, the wrong way, bad mistake; I burned the hell out of my lips that night.

Not even after a few minutes, I saw the clutter in the room beginning to melt, and the screen on the TV in her room became warped. Dr. Phil was looking sexy as ever. When I looked at her, and her beautiful bronze face with crystal blue eyes and long flowing black hair, she struck her tongue out at me, and in a moment’s notice her beautiful angelic face warped into demonic glare, and black wings stretched from her body.

I let out and unearthly shrill and started looking around again. Dr. Phil was resurrecting from the screen walking towards me in a pair of boxers and a tie.

“Oh my God! Dr. Phil is going to rape me!” I freaked and looked at her again. But, I saw Oprah Winfrey butt a*s naked wrapping her arms around me. I began crying. I pushed her away and ran out of what I thought was a television studio. When I went into the hallway, everything became pitch black for a minute, and then when all came to light again, I saw stone walls surrounding me with a pit of fire before me. From it, arose a metal pedestal with a pepperoni pizza on it, I reached for the pizza and tried to peel a pepperoni from it. I was hungry.

“Why are you eating my Pokémon card?” I heard faintly. When I ate it, I tasted cardboard, and swallowed it. Eww that pizza tastes disgusting. I thought to myself.

“You ate my Pokémon card!” that voice shrilled.

I jumped over the metal pedestal and reached to the other side.

“Ow!” I heard in the background.

When I got to the other side, I felt myself fall down a deep dark abyss, and landed in the center of the weirdest cartoon scene ever. There were three Chinese men smoking cigars surrounding a poker table, and there were three chicks sitting on the couch, two of them half naked with holes in their bodies. Running around were three midgets dressed in leprechaun outfits, from out of nowhere seven more of them came out. Two of them were in regular clothes, three of them were in suits and the other two were in bikinis. They started surrounding me, scared as hell I ran out of the door.

“Oh my God! I’m being chased by midgets! Help me!” I screamed. I tried running and running, but they were faster than, before I knew it they were on top of my stomping me. I closed my eyes and cried, but when I closed my eyes, I kept on seeing a clown with a blinking nose laughing at me. When I opened my eyes again, I saw nothing but neon colored streaks in the darkness, so I closed my eyes again. When I did, I found myself back in her house, but this time it was empty. I mean literally empty, it was just a bare room, no furniture, no people, no lights, no nothing, just a bare wooden floor and an old staircase.

“Jenny!” I see you, I heard.
“Who there!” I yelled. And out from the darkness she came out, her tongue stuck out again and she turned in a succubus demon with black wings. Her fangs outstretched, they were sharp blood dripping from them. I froze in fear as she grabbed my shoulders. In fear I tried to run out of the house, but before I could, I tripped and fell over. When I got back up, I saw the normal living room, but there was green tint to the color. When I looked up, I saw myself standing on the stairs.

“You hungry?” I asked.

“yeah!”

“I’ll get some food.” I said, and I went into the kitchen, open the cabinet and got some Doritos. I walked backed into the living room and walked up the stairs. “Here,” I said, handing the Doritos over.

“I have no hands,” she cried.

“I’ll feed them to you,” I said, and took the chips out of the bag and fed her, I watched her slowly eat the Doritos and then I began to hear a snarl. Behind me was her, this time, she was far more scarier looking with wrinkles and hideous moles on her face. I screamed again and tried to run, but she grabbed me. She bit me hard on my shoulder, and her razorblade teeth dug into my skin. The side of my neck bled, but the blood appeared to be green. When I turned around, I saw her face again, but she was her average pretty self that time. I felt happy, and a rush of euphoria came through me, until I saw everything in the room melting.

“Oh my God!” the house is on fire I yelled. I ran out of the house again, and tripped over the steps and banged my head hard into the concrete. All faded to black.

 

When I woke up, and saw light again. I was in a hospital bed. She, her father, her mom and my brother were surrounding me as I wiped the dust from my eyes. My head hurt like hell.

“What happened?” I mumbled.

“Well, you dropped acid in my room. You screamed something about Dr. Phil trying to rape you. Then you screamed telling Oprah to get away from you. Then you ran out of my room, ate my brother’s $20 pokemon card, jumped over him and dropkicked him in the process. You slid down the stairs and screamed that midgets were chasing you. Then you ran out of the house, stole my dad’s Doritos and then began feeding them to the tree. Then you ran out of the house again when I tried to bring you back up, screaming up a f*****g storm. Then for some apparent reason you took your clothes off and ran through the police station. The cops spent like a half-an-hour chasing you around the block. They had to tazer you sixteen times.”

“What the hell?” I mumbled.

“Yup. You have twenty charges against you: possession of marijuana, possession of LSD, illegal use of LSD, drug paraphernalia for the Dutch that was in your pocket, public intoxication, disturbing the peace, indecent exposure, unlawful trespassing, infiltrating federal property, resisting arrest, assault of a government official, assault on a civilian, illegal possession of tobacco products for the pack of cigarettes you had, assault with a deadly weapon, possession of a deadly weapon, second degree manslaughter for the ecstasy in your pocket, theft, sexual harassment for when you put your b***s in one of the cop’s face, jaywalking, and having ice cream in your back pocket.”

“What did I do last night?”

“A lot!”

I try to sit up, but I realized there were handcuffs to the side of the bed, so I had to stay laying down.

What a night!

Reviews

[papaed]

A wonderful creative outburst. It keeps the reader wondering what could possibly come next and wraps up with a great list that works well as a summary and leaves the reader imagining the sticky wet spot resulting from having ice cream in your backpocket! And even laughing at being charged as a criminal for it, and the thought that a cop has handcuffed you to a bed for jaywalking. Wonderful write.
Peace and Love on your next trip,
papaed

[lindsey]

Heh heh heh.

I had a similar, although not as extreme, experience. Am now scarred for life.
Good insight, good dialogue.

-l