Carrion Mistress

It is basically a poem that metamorphically talks about the fall of man through the "Carrion Mistress", who is technically the "w***e of babylon" (but there are no mentions of that in the poem)...

 

The nemesis divine

Sits on her throne

Mortal blood is her wine

In which she licks to the bone

 

 

Her eyes are cruel

Lecherous and jaded

Perfect for the fools

In which her lust has sedated

 

 

Her seed procreates

Wicked hearts and tainted minds

The Earth's scum and waste

Secluded in a disasterous bind

 

 

The firebound spell

Of mortals and bloodhounds

Leaves humanity with thousands of souls to sell

To a place that is never safe 'nor sound

 

 

Her sins are deadly

Counted in the sevens;

Brought forth to the nine

And exiled from the heavens

 

 

The Gods above and below

Gaze at her with a menacing glance

For this darkness on humanity she bestows

Will leave their creation forever cursed, under her trance

 

 

She draws the blood of man from this Earth

But it shall be returned

And boiled in Hell's fiery Hearth

Where the remains of her soul, shall burn

Reviews

[brita]

I like this piece, especially the first stanza:
The nemesis divine

Sits on her throne

Mortal blood is her wine

In which she licks to the bone



I can just imagine some beautiful woman sitting on a huge golden throne sipping blood from a goblet, representing the height of all evil and looking down on everybody else.
Great write. I really liked it.

[Lia]

There's a dark pull in this poem. You have done a great job. Nice work!

[Aria]

the first stanza keeps you hooked. poor little w***e of babylon (where my ancestors are from ironically), she's got quite the future ahead of her. good work and what i really liked abou tthis piece is that i was able to see everything in my head like a movie. good work

[Lexi Nicole]

I love the imagery in this, it's really great. The flow of the piece works very well and I like the dark tone it has. Nice work!

-Howl

[Aurora Night]

You do a great job drawing pictures in the readers head. Great job.

[Sianna Reader]

Very dark and haunting. The first stanza was a great introduction, the line "mortal blood is her wine" was chilling indeed. The imagery in this piece was fantastic!

[Lucy Joan]

this is really good :D it would go nice in a dark poetry category..
and the first stanza really describes the mistress very well
great description, and even with the ryhme, it made perect sense
also the way you ended it with the last stanza really stood out.
*two thumbs up* XD

[Twilight]

Simply brilliant! I like your original theme, and the flawless rhyme scheme (which seems to flow perfectly). The writer has also used appropriate wording, and managed to express some rather dark and atmospheric concepts! As a piece of dark poetry, this is another fine example!

[Kyros Woofkins]

I love this piece a lot. The only way i can simply describe it is by saying, "A beautiful darkness." One of immortal power, beauty, and sin.

[Cardinal Robin]

The concept is dark and beautiful...I love how straight the darkness of the path is here, clearly someone who respects these realms, and their offerings...Lovely Dark!

[Legion]

Very dark and chilling. An excellent tale of the w***e of Babylon.