That Time in the Afternoon

That Time in the Afternoon

A Poem by Delmar Cooper

                                     

             That Time in the Afternoon

 

   That afternoon in time,

   Encapsulated,

   As in amber

   The hard perfect jewel

   That keeps imperfect memory

   In perfected time

   Preserver of the soft, the perishable

   That so unlike a clock,

   Keeps time as it should be

   The jewel hard pivot of

   That perfect time

   In that perfect afternoon

                   When she first said...

© 2018 Delmar Cooper


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

The fact that the word "perfect" is used five times in this kinda stands out in a bad way for me, but I liked the image of an amber jewel that has captured something within. (Mind went to Jurassic Park here). But Amber can capture anything.

The fact that you leave us hanging at the end stumps me a bit. Why? I'm sure you have your reasons, but as a reader, I feel a bit deflated.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

Repetitive? Moi? Yeah absolutely. I assumed a reader would supply the perfect statement from the r.. read more
Vera Anne Wolf

6 Years Ago

Ahh, I'd be happy to do that. I think I "assumed" based on the number of poems I saw on your profile.. read more
Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

Poetry (or poemlike mishmash) is a sideline. I wanna write stories when I grow up.



Reviews

We need something hard to protect something lovable and precious and I picture that jewel protecting the softly perfect memories when something unforgettable ws exchanged. Memories like that are specialy to be protected in time always.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

4 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and for your gracious comment.
Everyone wants to comment on the repetition, I didn't even notice, I was caught up in the imagery of freezing time, a moment cast and Amber. What an amazing love poem that you get the reader to say "I love you", without saying it yourself.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

4 Years Ago

Relaxing in the shade of the towering elm tree I bask in the sunshine of your flattering remark. I.. read more
I'm a HUGE fan of repetitive writing in a poem. There are times when nothing more is needed...and this is one of them. Such a beautiful syntax of words and emotion. So glad we've met!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

5 Years Ago

The pleasure is mine. So glad you didn't mind the echo.
I , like you, often you the repeated phrase for emphasis. In your case it seems that the "perfect" whatever it is comes so infrequently that when we find it or experience it, there is something to be cherished about it.
I enjoyed this and thank you .

Take care - Dave

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

5 Years Ago

Thank you for reading. Perfection is overrated. I think I prefer the electric friction of flaws.
The perfect moment. Something about this fascinates me.
I suppose you too are in the center of the universe.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have a dust covered box of these amber moments. hell a couple of them even have a girl of the same jewel in them.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Perfect. Just the way it is. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

Thanks for reading.
The repetition added emphasis for me. I liked it. Something this precious, this special afternoon, to be preserved for all time like a fossil of a small,once soft insect, encased in amber. Nice work. Thank you for an enjoyable read.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and taking a moment to comment. I appreciate your insight.
Chris Shaw

6 Years Ago

You are welcome.
I enjoyed the poem. I liked how you gave time purpose and reason. You brought the reader into your thoughts and memories. Thank you Delmar for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

You bet. thanks for reading.
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome Delmar.
like a fossilized memory perhaps.
we can recall and feel people, places and things.
they are etched within our minds.
but they are no longer there.
this memory here has the feel of something special and special memories are timeless.
forever young in spirit

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Delmar Cooper

6 Years Ago

Ah memory. I remember having one of those.
Papaya

6 Years Ago

lol : )

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1039 Views
21 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 3, 2018
Last Updated on March 3, 2018
Tags: illusion, memory, amber, clock, watch, time

Author

Delmar Cooper
Delmar Cooper

Trussville, AL



About
I write- a little. I don't write to reinvent the wheel, or discover fire. I just drag along from sentence to sentence hoping for a spark. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..