My old Da said

My old Da Said

“There’s now’t unner yer blasted bed.”
But down he went and shined a light
And he made me look to prove him right
“The only monsters livin' here are livin' in yer head.”
Ma looked the wardrobe up and down
There weren't no ghouls, or ghosties found
“Those rough tenants we canna afford,
N’less you charge em' bed and board.”
Out in the hallway floorboards creaked
And back in the corner a mousie squeaked.
While I in the dark, inside my ear.
Felt muffled footsteps drawin' near.
Thumping hard, most hard as fear.
But I held to what my old Da said
And burrowed down into the bed.
My uncle he slid in beside,
I told him what I'd heard.
He dinna say he thought I lied,
Or found these fears absurd.
But held me tight, and held me dear
And breathed his whiskey in my ear,
"Sush lad,  never a word and we nae be fed
"To the thing that's livin' beneath your bed."

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for pointing me to this excellent poem Delmar. Your use of dialect is quite gentle and should be accessible to anyone. Most of us can think back to childhood when our vivid imagination can create all manner of scary creatures. Adults can light up the dark corners and let us sleep. I agree that the entrance of uncle is a bit sinister but left to our adult imaginations.
All the best,
Alan

[Tree]

Finely crafted piece, Delmar. I got caught up in this frightened child's vision, took me back to a time when those monsters were very real; couldn't tell me any different.

Excellent, piece.

Diego

[Shawnna Burt]

I like poetry like this. It has haunting historical old folklore charm and allure. Nicely done.

[Norman T]

This was a lovely story of childish fears told with a superb dialect introduced into the rhymes The humour shone through,so well,as well as the rough homespun assurance given in the last lines. I really enjoyed it.

Norman

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for reading. I really enjoy your poetry Norman. Keep it up.

[Cory Barrett]

I just finished reading (or attempting to read) Paul Laurence Dunbar. It is such difficult task to read in folk, i can only imagine writing in such a manner. Thank you for taking on the obligation, it is inspiring. Really Good stuff.

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for reading Cory

[h d e rushin]

bravo delmar for attempting the almost unattemptable challenge of folk language. No poet
alive today is quite that brave..
I don't believe in ghosts, but I peek down the basement stairs just to be sure....

dana

[Delmar Cooper]

I believe in them, I do believe, I do ....

[Michael G. Smith]

Takes back to childhood nights and imaginary beasts in closets and beneath the bed.

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks, much obliged for your comment.

[W.k.kortas]

It's the damn near perfect mating of folk tale and classic sonnet. If someone like James Whitcomb Riley or Robert Service could have actually written worth a damn, this is what they would have come up with.

[Delmar Cooper]

I forgive you Riley, but I cannot let pass your taking in vain the name of Robert Service. As a kid I was convinced that Kipling and Service, with Tennyson (Charge of the Light Brigade) were the Only poets. I had a recording of Hank Snow reading "Sam McGee" and "Dan McGrew" that cinched that opinion.

I had posted this before and I took it down because I was never comfortable with it. I always felt this effort was too big for my britches.

[W.k.kortas]

Well, in this sad hack's opinion, Hank Snow had no business sullying himself with the association with Service.

[Lexi]

I really enjoy the dialogue and story told, it's so fluent and complete. Also with the dialogue for me it kinda paints a picture and develops the character more. Overall I really enjoyed it, the line that really stuck out to me was the 4th line :)

[Delmar Cooper]

Oddly, that is the line I was most inclined to change. For the beat, not the context.

[Lexi]

I think its quite lovely, don't change it :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I know I read this before. This is a redo, or I am having a really great dejavu. I like this use of dialect, and it is a really neat story, from start to finish. Font's a little small for my multifocal post 40 vision --:)

[Delmar Cooper]

Yes I could not recall if I had posted this. I knew I had tinkered with it. So anyway there it is. I'll probably take it off in a few days.

[Lyn Anderson]

Why do you do that? An enigma you are.

[Delmar Cooper]

Since I discovered Metamucil I've given up enigmas