A Look Inside the Crayon Box

Where is the line between right and wrong, really.

There's some for you,
And some for me
And paper to share, for us.

We'll draw curvy lines
We must not cross,
With rules we write in the dust.

The world is not
So black and white,
As once you might think.

Innocence is lost
In bright hues of blue
And erotic shades of pink.

There are crimson crimes
Breaking burgundy ties,
All over pales shades of green.

There's Rainbow Pride
While some mothers cry,
And colorblind hearts turn mean.

Ivory and Obsidian
Charcoal and Chalk
Somber Pitch in the Snow,

Don't get me wrong
There is white and black
And plenty of grey unknown.

There are heavy hearts of gold,
And dirty silver souls.
And yellow brick roads to Hell.

There's lonely orange lives
And warm champagne highs.
And of course, The color purple.

Fiery eyes and jaded brown lies,
There's calico tales of lives gone by
And a tinge for every creed.

There's some for you,
And some for me
And paper for us to share

We'll color caricatures
Of who we wish to be
And the colors will bleed as we stare.

Author's Note

I felt like the color distracted from the actual content of the poem. Thank you everyone, for all your feedback though.

Reviews are appreciated, freely share your thoughts ^^

Photo Credit: "I feel about seven" by Macaroni-Waffles

Reviews

[bryandc15]

I love this piece

I would have to agree that the black stanza at the end of the poem does mean it loses some of it's power - although I do understand what you were trying to do with it..... I am, however, impressed with the idea that you came up with in creating this piece. I really like how you attached a definition to each of the colors - and did it in such a well written manner. I enjoyed this read, so thank you for sharing :)

[Clockwork]

I think that it is a great idea that you took on how things are classified. You are right, things are not just black and white. I liked how you made the text different colors although I think that the colors for some of those stanzas could be better matched. I think that it was a nice touch to use a different voice in the begging of the poem and color code it in black. However, I think that using those black stanzas again in the end of the poem does not maintain the power that you built in the rest of the poem. I think it would be good to write new lines to close out the poem.

[DeliriousCerises]

Thank you, it's funny that you mention those being better in the beginning than in the end. I originally had them at the end, and added them to the beginning as an afterthought.

I also did debate between matching the stanza colors, and just creating a rainbow for the aesthetic effect and kind of a visual metaphor (if there is such a thing) for the human condition being made of all sort of colors (more literal, a rainbow), not just black and white, not just this or that. The mind, perception and the human experience is complex, but beautiful, like a rainbow. And when I say beautiful, I don't necessarily mean happy, but it's the combination of experiencing happy and sad and all those other emotions, and faces we wear: good, bad, right, wrong, remorseless, hateful, caring, and loving, that make it complete and beautiful. Like a symphony, if it was all forte, or all piano, it would never be a masterpiece. I'm sorry, I think I might be rambling.

[Clockwork]

I think that you can have visual elements that make a statement. I think that stanza breaks and spellings are pretty good for that. I think the lines work best at the start because they contrast with the voice you create in the stanzas with color. It is funny how that works sometimes.

[Lina Grey]

Sorry if I'm intruding on your conversation here, but I would like to agree with Clockwork about the repeat of the two stanzas. However, if it were my piece, I would keep the first stanza at the beginning and the second at the end, rather than both stanzas on either end. It seems to satisfy the want for an intro and outro stanza, but maintain the level of power you built up.

[Doxophobia]

Wow! There is really no other exclamation I can come up with for how well this poem is put together. It's gorgeous. I love the imagery and how evenly it flows. Lovely use of colors to prove the point. I loved it. 100/100!

[DeliriousCerises]

Thank you very much, I glad you truly enjoyed it.

[Owlgirl]

Nice use of color!! Love it!!! Nicely worded!

[DeliriousCerises]

Thanks

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Do these reviews actually mean something to you? They're worthless, but it's like you approve of the sycophantic comments to the point where you vagina quivvers with excitement that somebody READ your poem and then said a few pointless words about it. F*****g pathetic.

[DeliriousCerises]

They don't mean a lot to me, but they do still inform me of how others view this particular piece, it's not really that helpful, and I am bummed when I see I have a review and then it turns out to only be "I like it" or some other generic response. I enjoy much more reviews that are geared toward this particular poem in an individualized way, and I appreciate even more those rare reviews that gave an impression that not only did they read it, but took the time to digest it, and give a detailed account of their impression so then I can better understand what I am comveying as compared to what I'm trying to convey. But ultimately I have a problem accepting that these kinds of reviews are utterly worthless.

Also, I've seen how grammar nazi you get on other people's poems/messages, so it might be a good idea to double check your own messages before posting, for risk of being a hypocrit, the most annoying of nits, "you vagina quivvers" really?

[JohnnyMagrinho]

My excuse is that I haven't been sober for about 10 days if not the last fortnight. Still, my reviews/comments are probably more logical and grammatically sound than the majority of people on here.

And no, those reviews you have discredited in this very review are worthless as they serve no purpose whatsoever.

You've taken one or two moments of grammatical weaknesses on my behalf due to drunkeness/rage in isolation to the rest of my otherwise normal level of quality.

I'm only Nazi to those people who say "Don't judge me on how poor my grammar/spelling is." What the actual f**k is that about?

If you don't think the majority of writing/reviews on this website are compeletely worthless then you're a f*****g idiot. Simple.

[DeliriousCerises]

Yes a majority of the review on here are generic and not very valuable, and a lot of writing on here is bad, but I have a problem accepting that they are completely worthless. Even if the thing it does is as small as make me feel a little better, or slightly more decided about a poem I might be feeling conflicted about, I can't say that is without worth.

And I yeah, I agree that you can't "not judge" someone on their grammar and spelling because if it's too bad, it really detracts from the story and can even make it impossible to read completely. I have just stopped reading stories because I just can't wade my way through the typos and in general assinine grammar. But you being drunk is no excuse for your typos when you harp on people the way you do. I've seen you point out tiny things before. How do you know they aren't drunk too?

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Your comment here has errors. Do you want me to point them out to you or do you want to find them all on your own?

You're admitting that the reviews just serve to make you feel better. It's like you find no shame in accepting these reviews just serve to help you deal with any insecurities you may have as a writer/person. You've admitted that yourself. I don't really need to say anything else.

The funny thing is you keep on agreeing with whatever points I'm making and we both know I make less grammatical mistakes than you do so this really is becoming rather pointless and beneficial to nobody. Other than my amusement, but I'd rather not personify that just yet - I'm not THAT f*****g bored.

[DeliriousCerises]

And you had typos in the post before that which I did not point out because that's just being an a*s for the sake of starting s**t. I guess I'm really just argueing symantics between "of little worth" and "worthless" because I am just that f*****g bored. And no, I find no shame and enjoying the comfort of kind words.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

No. I just read my previous reviews in this thread and I have no typos at all. At least read properly before telling me I'm wrong. I'm all for being wrong, just, when I actually am.

And well then, if you approve of such comments you're a f*****g silly, little person who has the emotional stability of a 6 year old. Maybe that's doing the 6 year old a disservice, though.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Learn to argue and learn to make me feel annoyed/angered. You are just making it easy for me to retaliate. Your points are contradictory and easily refuted by whatever sane, logical comment I throw back at you. You are positively impotent. Ineffectual person.

[DeliriousCerises]

Really? No typos? "only Nazi to those people" you're saying that's not wrong? Cause last I checked Nazi is a noun, which in the English language requires some article before it like "a" As for the rest, I don't really care. I'm happy with who I am. And with the way you speak to people, and the fact that you've been drunk for almost two weeks gives me the impression that you're not happy. So I'm sad for you.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

The fact I've been so far from sober for the past fortnight is a f*****g blessing. I don't know what you're on about.

I think it's perfectly fine to say "Nazi to those people" without having any article come before it. It makes sense in the context of the sentence, at least in an utterance it would be gotten away with, but I can understand why you'd say it may not be good enough in written form. I can give you that, but I think it's perfectly acceptable as you don't lose anything from not having the article/gain anything from having the article. A lot of decent literature is not 100% by the book, in so far as saying that creative twists are used to garner and embelish a certain tone/feeling/response. Of course, writing like an ape is going too far, but I really don't think my approach to that sentence was too ugly.

The way I speak to people? You know nothing of me, how I speak to people or my personal life. You're getting personal now. I keep this to talking about reviewing, poor writing and peoples attitude to both of them and how it makes them appear. I'm not speaking to people poorly, I'm saying how poor their writing is and then they start to cry and shout for mummy to come sort out the situation. They need to tell me off because I'm so horrible. It's pathetic.

If you're sad for me, then fantastic. I feel nothing towards you, so take from that what you will. You are nothing but writing on a screen to me and your words mean less than anything after seeing your writing, your reviews and your responses to what I have said. You are less than interesting.

[DeliriousCerises]

Getting personal? I think telling me I have the emotional stability of a 6 year old is "getting personal" when you also know nothing of me. I was commenting on how you speak to people on here, I don't give a f**k about how you speak to people in your personal life, since I'm not there. But not only do you find people's fault you go on to type at them (I suppose, since you don't like "speak") in a condescending manner.

And now you're a liar, cause as far as I could tell you wrote pretty positive responses on a majority of my writing. And as you've made it pretty clear, you don't bullshit around people's feelings. Though I'm pretty sure that any response other than completely agreeing with you would have me regarded as "less than interesting" in your eyes, which is fine I suppose. You seem to be on a "me against the world" kick anyway (just so we're clear I'm talking within WC, not your personal life).

[DeliriousCerises]

Wow, correction: "... around people's feelings, I'm sure that means you think they're good and to say otherwise because of this conversation just shows immaturity on your part."

[DeliriousCerises]

Actually, you know what, you're right, kind of. I did hesitate about saying "Thanks" for this review, and really just did it to be polite, since the review in the first place felt like something that was done just to be polite. But maybe you're right, that's bs. We should just be honest. And maybe I should hold others to the standards that I expect of myself. Or maybe this whole argument is pointless and now I'm giving it too much thought. Or maybe we're all just asinine jerks deep down, and some try harder to cover it than others. I just don't know.