You're the Pot

A hypocritical ex-boyfriend

You say it'll come back, You'll see me in Hell
It'll hurt me bad, But you wish me well

What do you know of Karma
Speaking like it belongs to you
It comes back three fold
But you think you're God.

She is the me, As he is to you
You made me cry, And I killed you inside

My Karmatic Revenge, You said was due
But I promise I tried, To keep you alive

I'm sorry it took so long,
To say goodbye to someone I knew
I thought cutting you off, Would make it stop

Taboo in sanity
It only hurt, And a part of me knew
So I tried to end it all: one semi-dramatic call

And now you murder
Your other friend too
But he is sane and much
unlike the Horror you are

Or even me, these days
But that's another story
For another time
In another place

He will not pry, And torment the Saint
He will not try, To destroy your life

Or hers and yours, A little girl you mocked
But we knew your heart
Was that of a child in love.

And these days, It's much the same
But a few years older,
And you wont know the pain

And I don't really care, It's just funny you blame
Me, and speak of things, You don't understand

Or perhaps you do, With your finger pointing act
You truly are a Minor King
Of calling the kettle black.

Author's Note

Wow, my longest poem... ever. So there are a few references that would probably only be understood by the person who will never read this, but other than that, enjoy! I don't really know how I feel about this, if I feel anything at all. Please review honestly. Thanks ^^

Photo Credit: "Mean Ole Pot" by Dissolved Oxygen on DeviantArt

Reviews

[JohnnyMagrinho]

I'm not sure that what it is you have edited in this piece, but it still reads wonderfully well. I was trying to spot the changes but have failed as I have read so many of your poems!

But once again, it is a difficult poem to review. I'll attempt to review a bit better, as my first comment was so nonchalant it beggars belief why I ever posted!

The first stanza is a nice introduction. It's pretty self-explanatory so I won't bother telling you what you already know, but it sets the pace and more importantly the tone for the rest of the poem.

The second is probably one of the most well written stanzas of the piece. I think the lack of rhyme and connection is fantastic as it is executed so well with reason. It comes back three fold but you think you're God. That's a wonderful line but the speaking like it belongs to you. Well, I've never ever heard anybody describe karma or karmic force like that. Incredibly unique way to describe someone so eager/blase to think he understands everything, and is more importantly, sure he is free of guily or culpability.

The next two parts are intriguing. More talk about karma and the failure of your relationship in a very delicate manner. You made me cry and I killed you inside is a well crafted line, adding yet more karmic swing. I promised I tried to keep you alive is interesting. I get the idea that its about trying to keep a good part of him with you, or at least with him, rather than letting him be devoured by his imminent karmic judgement. I may be far off, but thats the impression I get.

The bits that follow are about the eventual break up, and I really like the whole cutting him off analagy, as if it was a plague or cancer that had begin to spread. Of course cancers can rest dormant within us our entire lives and we never experience them be anything more than benign. It's as if that's how it happened, that part of him, of your relationship, was lying beneath and it eventually rose to the surface before you tried to get rid of it. And then for his name to be taboo, it's like he was something you'd rather just go along with; it's too much hassle - not the thing to do - to complain or try to change.

The part about murdering his other friend. That, I simply do not understand fully. Maybe it is about how he tried to sever ties with a mutual friend after he became jealous or unsure about his motives or maybe another part of him. How he tried to murder perhaps his logic or reason as it got in the way of your relationship or became sour. I'm not sure so I'll leave that up to you to explain to me, or leave me wondering!

He comes across as being a rather childlike, naive partner that was concerned with playing up to an imaginary way of being in love that perhaps quickly succumbed to reality and how love/relationships really are. And he reacted in spite and tantrum, showing his lack of maturity.

And then the latter parts are just summing up his arrogance and self-worth, although due to the rest of the poem I would guess it would be a case of narcissism as well.

It's a very, very well constructed poem and quite possibly the best I've seen on the site. Definitely one you should be proud of, and I hope you realise that in seeing this review. This has taken me a good while to review the second time around, too. Thanks for keeping me that interested.

[Eloha]

Am I crazy? I see comedy in this. Well at least this part:

But he is sane and much
unlike the Horror you are

[Peaceworker22]

It's pretty good, no changes needed, blah-blah-blah. Just kidding! Loved it. : )

[Admiral Kirk]

I liked this poem a lot; the metaphors are fantastic, and the flow is phenomenal. I enjoy the simple yet beautiful rhyme scheme, and how your emotions are portrayed in every stanza. By reading this, I can see the emotional torment that this issue is causing you, and the strong hold it has on your life. Incredible piece! Definitely worth reading again and again!

[Kaylor Mason]

hypocrisy is a lot like that

[kayla]

Wow. Very beautiful and well written(:

[Ama May Cooper]

I loved the idea of this, the confrontation in it speaks bounds. A hypercrit called out for his crimes in a very subtle and warning way. I feel you loose the flow a little in the end but you grab it back and hold it very tightly toward the end.

[Shane Blackheart]

There seems to be a lot of personal message behind this poem, so I'm not sure I could review it honestly and do justice. I did, however, enjoy reading it and the emotion behind it. Well done!

[Rea]

I know exactly what you're saying. And damn girl, he would be speechless.