Corpses, black-blue roses

Corpses, black-blue roses

A Poem by DelicateSymphony
"

This is a Shadow Sonnet- It was difficult for me to write at the time.

"
Corpses, black-blue corpses
Trays, on cold metal trays
Roses, black-blue roses
Lay, dying we lay

Trays, on cold metal trays
Roses, black-blue roses
Trays, they lay on cold metal trays
Corpses, our black-blue corpses

Today we walk away, from today
Shame, run from shame
Away, I run away
Blame, I run from blame

Grave, your tombstone grave
Depraved, today, I walk away depraved

© 2011 DelicateSymphony


Author's Note

DelicateSymphony
Rating and constructive criticism is appreciated. I will rate and give constructive criticism to any who give it to me. Sort of a you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

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Featured Review

Wow, this is a type of poem I'm not familiar with, but it was very well done. It obviously came from a raw place, and the emotions are very clear. The formatting is interesting but you made it work to your advantage very nicely. It isn't the most obvious of pieces but, that isn't always necessary anyway. Again, nice job. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Interesting! I havent read this style other than from the books for my literature class. Very individualistic! I enjoyed reading this

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Interesting and cool. I've never written in Sonnet style before. I like the play on words; it makes it sink in all the more. "Today we walk away, from today" - my favorite line from this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You address topics that many dare not walk through love and I admire that..a lot of heartfelt emotion in this piece..we need to explore all emotion, seems you do :) xx

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully written. I love your structure and over all approach with this. You have a talent!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem! Beautiful job :]

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow this was really good, I am not that good with constructive criticism, but I like this write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is a type of poem I'm not familiar with, but it was very well done. It obviously came from a raw place, and the emotions are very clear. The formatting is interesting but you made it work to your advantage very nicely. It isn't the most obvious of pieces but, that isn't always necessary anyway. Again, nice job. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not sure what a shadow sonnet is, still I must say there is something musical in the way the words repeat and shuffle into new meanings. The ending lines were incredible. The whole read left me with an image of heavy guilt in my mind's eye, funny...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

well actually i thought it was good very raw and full of unexplainable emotion. i actually had to read it twice to understand what i was reading though. job well done. [:

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am not a fan of sonnets, mostly because I am not a traditionalist, but I like this, I like the construction and the flow remains constant through out. Good read and write.

Matthew

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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10 Reviews
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Added on June 18, 2011
Last Updated on June 19, 2011

Author

DelicateSymphony
DelicateSymphony

Elkton, MI



About
Hey, I'm here to share my writing and connect to other writers. I am hoping to experience other types of writing and to learn from it. At the moment I am beginning to learn how to write screenplays fo.. more..

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Josip Josip

A Story by DelicateSymphony



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