The Dark

I woke up in the dead of night. I knew it was night because my little window was dark and shiny, like black ice. I was afraid, I didn’t like the dark, but I couldn’t have a nightlight. I wasn’t allowed to have one. They had said I had to learn to get past my fear of the dark. I felt my eyes move side to side in my head, trying to look through the thick blackness. I thought I heard the sound of breathing from the other corner of my room. I pulled my sheets tighter to my body. I wished there was a way I could see, but lights weren’t allowed at night. It was against the rules.

I whimpered quietly. I thought I heard footsteps. Why did I have to wait until it was morning to see? I was terrified. I definitely heard the sound of someone breathing now, it was closer. I put my blanket over my head, praying that when I opened my eyes again it would be sunny and I would have to go eat breakfast with everyone else. I held my breath, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. It was like I was four again, and believed that if I couldn’t see the monsters, they couldn’t see me. The footsteps came closer, and with them, the breathing. Why did I have to sleep in the dark? The dark hid scary monsters that wanted to eat me. I could feel a presence over me. The breathing was right above my head.

I bit my lip to keep from crying out, as the sheets above me were moved, and as though someone were grabbing them, slowly dragged down, down my head, and my neck, and my torso and legs where they were dropped at my feet and I was left, exposed, in the cold air. My eyes were still shut. I did not want to see what was above me. I knew I would go insane if I did. I could hear the air whistling between the lips of whatever was by my bed. I hoped that if I didn’t move, it would go away. That it would go bother some other little girl in some other dark room and leave me alone.

I bit my lip, hard, feeling a hand grab my shoulder. I was curled up on a ball on my side, my fingers interlocked around my knees and pulling them close. I didn’t want to let anything have easy access to an unsuspecting limb.

The hand was cold. Each finger felt like bone with a small bit of skin stretched over it, like the hand of an old woman, bony, old and scary. And yet, I still didn’t look to see who it was. The breathing had yet to cease. My mind was racing, still hoping the sun would miraculously come up and all things that lived in the dark would go away. If nothing else, it felt like I was about to die of a heart attack, the blood quickly pumping through my veins.

I felt the hand tug on my shoulder. It was strong, strong enough to move me so I was no longer the little curled up ball, but rather I was lying on my back, even more exposed than before. I knew that I would eventually have to open my eyes, the illusion of “can’t see me if I can’t see you” had long since gone. I slowly opened one eye. It was still dark, but I could see the outline of someone above me, dark, darker than the nighttime air. It was absolutely horrifying.

The figure, whatever it was, did not move. I stared at it, scared half to death. I tried to force myself to scream, to let anyone know I needed help. The dark figure merely breathed the same long, heavy breathes it had been doing since I first woke up. I could see its chest moving slightly with each gust of wind that blew past its mouth.

My eyes widened in fear as I saw a dark hand slowly rise, connected to a dark arm, connected to the dark body in front of me. The thing brought its hand down on my mouth and nose. it smelled putrid, like rotting flesh. I forced myself to stop breathing, and then to try and get away. The hand held me down, but I tried to kick and punch the monster and make it leave. I wished someone, anyone, would come save me. I wished the sun would come up so this thing would be forced away. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t inhale. The smell was overpowering so close to my nose. I squirmed and hit and kicked, but I never made contact. My arms and legs went through the air, not touching the thing next to me.

My lungs were empty. I felt myself getting dizzy as I continued to struggle. This thing needed to get away from me. What was it? Why was it here? What did it want? My mind was slowly fading as this monster cut off the oxygen that I was so desperately struggling for. Whatever this thing was, it wanted me dead…

Author's Note

Edited the last paragraph to try and tried to take out a few of the "I"s

Reviews

[Roxi L]

The first 4 sentences of the last paragraph were repeating the word "I" That can get teenage readers like myself bored. Try not to use "I" so much otherwise very good.
Roxi

[Aren Daker]

You have a nice way of telling a story. Some parts are very good, showing your potential for great work. Try however to avoid starting several lines in a row with the word "I".

[The Cute 1]

GOOD

[Coyote Poetry]

A very powerful chapter. I like the situation and the character. The description of her fear and the appearance of the monster made the story very strong. I will read on. I like the feel of fear and the tenseness of the story. A outstanding poem.
Coyote