Regrets and Healing

Christina after finally getting Caitlin to sleep, she walked down the hall to her room her shoulders slumped, gaze down at the dark brown wooden floor. She turned the knob pushing open her bedroom door flipping on the lights closing the door behind her quietly. Walking over to her closet grabbing some pajamas before changing, to try and get some sleep. She crawled into her bed pulling the covers over her head looking blankly at the space beside her, some tears she's been holding back all day, a wave of emotions crash over her. Her mind thinking about Peter, closing her eyes tight wiping away more tears. Missing him terribly, hugging her pillow. Thinking about being in his arms, how it made her feel safe and how nothing else in the world existed when she was in them, his voice, his Peter smell. But the thoughts and memory of him and Carol together can into her head. A pain filled her chest but no were near the pain of knowing she hurt him and the look on his face. Wanting more then anything to call him and beg him to forgive her for over reacting but she felt that it wouldn't do anything. But she couldn't get herself to, she finally started to drift off to sleep when Caitlin woke up crying hysterically. She moved the blanket from over her head and sat up pulling her hair back leaving her bed room going into Caitlin's picking her up crawdling her in her arms trying to sooth her, "Sssh mama cetta its alright, mommy is here." She said in Italian softly. Caitlin clung onto christina burying her face in the cruck of her neck, "mew want dwada." She cried, staining Christina's shirt with her tears. Christina took in a deep breath that shook her chest, "I'm sorry mama, daddy isn't here right now." She said in the same soft tone, thinking to herself, 'and its mommy's fault he isn't...' She walked over to the rocking chair sitting down with Caitlin still clinging in her arms, rocking back in the chair singing to her softly trying to get her back to sleep. Christina when she finally felt Caitlin started to calm down and relax as he cries turned into soft hiccups, she rubbed her back lightly telling her that it was okay for her to fall asleep. Caitlin soon after fell asleep in Christina's arms. Christina lightly brushed her hair back and wiped away her tears, feeling her arms get heavy falling asleep in the rocking chair with her baby in her arms.