Coming out

a coming out story...

I looked into her eyes

and her love answered mine

I took her hand

and we walked together

into the coffee shop

two minutes later she left crying

her eyes shrouded in tears and silent

betrayal speaks more than words

and apparently it screams in the silence of my closed mouth

while the little girl inside who believes the best of her parents

pounds at your teeth, raging to get out, very far out.

coming out is easiest when you're angry

angry at yourself

angry at the world

angry at your parents

that's when it happens unplanned

uncalled for

a disproportionate response to an innocent comment

"how is that sweet girl we met at the coffee shop?"

she's broken, wrong just like me

except I'm not. we're not.

I'm/we exactly as I/we was/were born to be.

god doesn't make mistakes, right?

I pass the coffee shop two days later.

it has closed down.

she waited for me there

and we sat in a dusty storefront

sipping starbucks coffee from down the street

watching the world from outside the closet

and breathing freely.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[GlamGirl]

Mmm. I really like this, I can feel the pain and freedom.

[Legacy]

Absentee Reality Check,

Oh wow... I have not alot of experience on this topic, yet it has touched me deep within my hearts vision.

I must say that your tasteful declaration of a closed slammed open closet is supreme. You never mentioned of stickiness that tends to fill a poem of this genre... you didn't force anything.

Naturally, this is as it should be, the lack of caps as stated by a reviewer is important, I think, due your timidness of the conversation. The control you lack of the other persons feelings and actions when given this news.

I have given you 100 because this write contains what it should, mystery, romance, hurt, betrayal, confusion and most of all... really well put together words.

Enjoy the door open,

Legacy

[DuaneSimolke]

"and apparently it screams in the silence of my closed mouth"
This line captures all the emotions of an intensely honest poem. Still, you use imagery to help communicate those emotions, and to show that this person's life is like any one else's life in most ways. The confrontations force unspoken thoughts and feelings to come forward. I like the absence of caps here and have used it in one of my poems; I can't say why it works here, and I wouldn't nomally use or advice it, but it fits here.