Eclipse of the Mind

I wrote this when i was up really late one night and the words just came to me...so here it is

Molten glass leaves and

Suffocation skies

Clear blue deception

And broken wings dresses

Clouds of distresses

Flood our eyes

Mercury running veins and

Feet that smell lies

Commotion full lungs

Hearts pumping out frozen times

Recycled ideas hid all their signs

And fake fingernails

Scrabble at silicon trees in a desert

To shake down and drink

Up the cover story, just

Another mirage, like

Freedom or perfection

Putting ideals under the knife

During this total eclipse of the mind.

 

Reviews

[Jennifer Gabriel]

love the imagery &confusion, the chaos in your lines...
as well as the message.

[Alaska Frost]

wow this is amazing! it's very well written and i just want to read it over and over again to analyze and decipher each line!

-Alaska

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow this piece is a total eclipse I love how the words in this write come together, I mean I can visualize what’s going through my mind as I read it. Great job well done.

[LeeLee Ryder]

WONDERFUL IMAGERY IN YOUR WORDS.. A KILLER ENDING LINE...
LATE NITE CREATIVE JUICES ARE EXPLOSIVE AND YOUR POEM
IS NO EXCEPTION..
KUDOS
LEELEE

[KL]

I really, really liked this one. It's got so much flow, each word really combines gracefully with the next, yet your unique vocabulary in this poem stands out on its own. A superb contrast, right there, within the poem itself.

Sometimes even the bluest skies can feel suffocating. Thanks for the read.

[MoonlitAngel]

Wow. This was a kickass poem. Wow.

[Fanciful Goddess]

amazing

[Suhcej]

This expresses a lot of confusion, therefore the word "eclipse" I guess. the first line catches my attention, "molten glass leaves" the more I try to figure this out, the more wrong I think I am. "suffocation skies", to me it comes the thought of when the whole atmosphere seems to have laid its weight over your shoulders. The line which I liked most is "freedom or perfection" a choice which everyone encounter, either be yourself or be the one who everyone else wants you to be. In whole it is a good writing, I'm surprised no one else has reviewed this great writing. Thanks for sharing this midnight words with everyone.

Demeter Suhcej