Give It Up

A Story by Deinde

Why try?

Give It Up

It wasn’t one of those dramatic moments. It wasn’t a story. The main character didn’t stand up and deliver a stunning speech that moved his followers to tears. He didn’t seek the power to protect his friends. He didn’t push himself to the limits and strain for the top.

He didn’t even bother getting up after falling.

Oh, he could cry all the excuses he wanted. He had tried, he had done his best, hadn’t he? After all, he was only human. He didn’t need to fight for something that he had never wanted, right?

… right?

“S**t,” he groaned, pushing his forehead against the wall. “S**t f**k.” Turning his head so that his cheek rested on the cool plaster, he grit his teeth together. He abruptly twisted his neck and slammed his head into the wall. He let out a moan of satisfaction at the pain this action caused him.

“S**t.” He was trembling now. All the pent up frustration, all the anger, all the fear and uncertainty, had been contained for far too long, and now he had to find �" needed �" an outlet for the pain, all this pain, the pain that wouldn’t goddamned stop.

Still, he restrained himself. There were certain expectations set in place for him, and there was no way he could betray them. There were people who had faith in him, and people who would die protecting him.

A bitter thought snaked into his mind. Aren’t you already betraying them by being here? By doing this? You’re a failure, aren’t you?

The logical and rational part of him argued back. I’m not a failure. Everything I do is good enough. I’m not a bad kid, I’m not failing anything. I’mnotabadkid, stopstaringstopsmilingatmelikethatstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop-

STOP!

Clutching his head, he sank to his knees and whimpered miserably. There was nothing left in him to put up a fight. There was nothing left for him to protect. What was the point? Everything in this life was such a farce; there was really nothing worth living for, nothing worth putting the effort in for.

Why couldn’t he just live his life normally and enjoy it like other people did?

A ghostly figure sneaked up behind him. A ghastly smile slid onto its face as smoothly as butter, and a misty hand reached up to stroke his cheek.

That’s right, the voice whispered. That’s right. What’s the point? Why don’t you just give up?

He opened his eyes. Gasping, he attempted to grasp the escaping strands of his sanity and reasonability. His fingers slipped, and he fell deeper and deeper into the ocean of fear, pain, anger, frustration, pain, pain, pain, painpainpainpainpain �"

Suddenly, everything stopped. Time stood still. Reality ceased to exist. Life lost its meaning. The figure just grinned and dissipated; its work was done.

The only thing left behind was the hollow shell of a boy. Empty. Eyes hollow. A sardonic smirk painted on a fragile porcelain face.

© 2012 Deinde

Author's Note

This was written in the heat of the moment. Basically, this is just detailing how I personally feel right now. Take it however way you want; I'm not looking for writing critique on this one. It's just a way for me to relieve stress without blowing up and making things worse. Thanks.