Winter Falling

In the sand--
legs, head
toes.

 

fiddling with broken bits
of glass, and stringing
rope from a branch for
the coming season,

 

winter. 
hang her and let her sway
in melancholy breeze, rain
strips sin away
and slowly the dead leaves
build into a blanket.

 

it is a purple-sky that greets
us when we wake, thickets
of sleep we must break through.
wide-eyed; cold toes,
thighs long for lovers warmth--
gone.

 

and one by one, we will hang our
bodies from the rafters and sway
to the sound of the wind, and the
crash of spring pounding through
the doorway--

 

and she will scream as we leave
this rotted earth.

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

In the sand suggests burial. Sand suggests sands of time. Broken glass, broken hopes? Then: hang, sway, dead...later: hang, bodies, sway. Winter cold, lovers warmth gone. Wind features twice.

Great motion and symbolism generates a sepulchral gloom. I like 'in melancholy breeze' best as it feels delicate and breeze suggests brrrrrr and freeze, at least to me.

The purple sky sounds unnatural and I see purple rings round someone's eyes, possibly a corpse's eyes with winter and sleep being death. Goths would love this.