Tendencies

Tendencies

This Blinding Distraction, 

You Come in Waves then disappear.

I Crumble as the relief flows through my veins. 

These wasted moments without you,

I crash. 

As fast as you can say hello, There i go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check this out she said.

You'll be fine she said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shouldn't take more than one.

You shouldn't be out this late.

Go home.

Reviews

[kitty blur]

Take this as you will, but this is my favorite out of the poems you've written here so far.

I love the unique structure. The poem itself is aesthetically pleasing, at least to me, and that's without even reading it yet. As I went through it, I caught on to more and more drug language (relief thru my veins, I crash, you shouldn't take more than one). Aside from that, I get the feeling that the person mentioned in the first chunk causes immediate euphoria each time they enter your life, even if it's brief. So, my deduction is that the person is essentially the drug itself, as alluded to in your other poems.

The second chunk is my favorite because of the feeling I get when I read it. This girl seems to have conjured up some hesitation on your part. And because you worded it in past tense, that feeling can almost come across as regret or bitterness toward the girl. Feels like something went wrong when she said everything would be okay.

A critique, if I may: maybe add in another stanza between the second and third chunks? I want to know what actually happened in between those two, another bit from the first person perspective again to balance it out. Overall, though, great poem. :)

[Jane Doe ~]

Wow! You Nailed it spot on, I love you interpretation of it! It can be taken either way, as if almost telling two stories at once the drug and the girl as one. I will be sure to add in another stanza! I appreciate the review :) Means a lot that some one reads my work! I'll be sure to add more.