The Grumpy Farmer

A Story by Defcon171

This guy is angry all the time. So when something unexpected happens...

The farmer groaned as he walked across the mid-summer field. Grumbling as he looked for his plow, the sunlight blinds him to the point of not seeing a rock in his way. His body hits the ground with a thump! Slowly climbing back to his feet, the farmer cursed the rock for crossing his path. He picks up the rock, prepares to throw it, and-

"Hey, put me down!" The man looked around, trying to find the source of the new voice. "Down here." Slowly, the farmer's head lowered as he looked at the rock in his hands. On the stone a line ran across it sideways. It can't be, he thought to himself. I'm hallucinating. Just then, the line opened, and the farmer stared in disbelief as the rock spoke. "Took you that long to figure out where I was?"

The man screamed and ran for his house. Running inside, he slammed the screen door shut. Then he sat there, guarding it, so as to keep that acursed rock out of his house. The thing hopped onto his porch and sat opposite the farmer. the farmer just stares at it, thinking: rocks can talk?! How could I not have been informed about this?

"Leave me alone," he muttered. The thing didn't leave him alone. It just sat there. The man became frusterated with the thing, walked outside, and kicked it. The stone flew a few yards before finally langing on the earth. Slowly, the farmer grabs his plow, brandishing it as if it were a weapon of great importance. Out of nowhere, the rock flys strait for his forehead-

BAM!

Slowly, the farmer wakes up. He rubs his head so as to dull it's throbing pain. He raises his head...and finds the rock sitting on his chest. It asks "What kind of person kicks a rock they've just met?" The farmer climbs to his feet and looks at the stone. Then- with a huff, if I might add- the man grabs his plow and begins tilling the earth. "Wait," the rock called "I need your help."

The farmer turns to the rock and grumbles "What's in it for me?"

"If you help me, I'll give you the power to change."

"Change what, my socks? I already know how to-"

"Not that, you fool! Change your ways. Transform yourself from an old coot into a man of kindness. Surely, this is a good deal for you?"

The farmer thought for a moment. Change my ways? No more scolding poeple for just standing there? No more being UNKIND?! The man couldn't imagine it. But then came another thought: on the other hand, if I become kind, then surely my pigs will sell for much more than their worth! A smile danced on his lips. "Alright," he said "I'll do whatever you need me to do to redeem myself."

The stone grinned. "All right then, here's what you need to do: reunite me with my rock tribe up in the mountain." The farmer pondered this. Well, he thought, the mountain isn't that hard to climb, so I should arrive back ho at nightfall. "Last I saw them", the rock added "I heard them saying they were to climb to the top of the mountain to collect gura roots for our soup." (Rocks eat food?) "I hope their still up there. Are you ready to head off?"

"Yes."

"Then let's be off then. We're burning daylight!"

The strange pair walked along the path that led to the mountain. The rock kept pace with the farmer by hopping. "So," the farmer grumbled "How did you know where I live?"

"Easy. I just used the messenger rocks on your driveway. They gave me a very detailed report." (Messenger rocks?) They kept walking, making sure not to stray from the mountain path. After a few more minutes, the rock finally shouted "We've finally arrived!"

The mountain was dotted with trees, so the farmer figured it would take a while to locate the rock tribe. The duo began making their way up, every once in a while tripping over a fallen log or getting wacked by a stray branch. That didn't stop the farmer, though. The thought of changing his ways now not only made him afraid, but energized the man as well. He kept going, not caring however many times a branch smacked him. All he cared about was changing his ways.

The sun set when they finally arrived at the mountain's top. Just then, the farmer thought he heard a kind of humming floating around. He also felt the warmth of a fire on his skin. Slowly, the man and the rock crept forwards, trying carefully to not make a single sound. When they were at least a foot away from the fire, the farmer gasped at the strange sight before him. Stones were walking around the fire, singing and dancing as they went. Each one was decorated with a different set of leaves. The man guessed this must signify a form of rank throughout the tribe. "My tribe," the stone cried, hopping headlong into the group of rocks "I missed you!" Then- leading the others behind him -the rock came up to the farmer once more, shouting "Bless this man who has brought me back to my family! Let him change his ways!" Then, the man blacked out.

When he finally came to, the farmer found himself on his couch, staring at the ceiling, Slowly he got up, giving his body time to wake itself. As the sunlight streamed in, he smiled. The man thanked the rock for comming to him that fateful day. May he have a good life.