It was a Spider!

I fell heavily asleep, content and happy from celebrating my brothers engagement a few years ago. By that I mean completely s**t faced.

Waking up at 2 am extremely dehydrated, I desperately needed some water. I jumped out of bed as I do off the end because my bed just jams in my room and the walls are practically touching the sides, and went to get a drink. 

Falling back into bed (because it’s easer) I began to tidy up my sheets and obviously rustled ‘Russ’ (That’s what I named him) awake because he started 'spidering' about. Russ was a huntsman about the size of a tennis ball. Or I remember him being that size anyway and I think he was a huntsman, I didn’t really ask. 

I jumped back out of bed so fast it felt like I left my body behind. After realising I was now shaking from fear and not the alcohol left in my bloodstream I also then bolted from my room. 

Ordinarily I would find the nearest male representative to help with the situation but it being night time I didn't want to seem pathetic by waking anyone just to get rid of a spider that I should be old enough to handle myself. I grabbed the largest shoe I owned, tip toed back to my room and proceeded to death stare Russ for about 10 minutes with the shoe raised above my head. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I couldn’t kill him. Not out of fear, but mostly because I didn’t want to. He didn’t deserve to die just because he ended up in a bed with me. I could justify killing a few people if that was the case. I had to get him off my bed and outside so I could get back in my bed and go to hangover inducing sleep.

I went back to the kitchen, turning every light on as I went because clearly there was the possibility of hundreds of spiders waiting for the attack in the dark, and found a container with a lid. Back hovering around the base of my bed I placed the container over Russ and held it down so he couldn’t squeeze under the edges and again call his many friends and attack me.

This was good, there was now a barrier between my bed buddy and me but I could hear him scurrying around the edges under the container which I really didn’t like. With one hand still on the container I reached across my room for my cd player and turned on whatever cd was in there. I boosted the volume just loud enough to cover the noise but not loud enough to wake the house. If they were to come in at the time I would've looked quite ridiculous drunkenly holding a container over a spider playing music at 2.30 in the morning with no pants on (because in amongst all the fear, pants were not hight on my priority list), muttering to myself to gain the strength to save Russ rather than Squish him. 

I now had a new problem though. Not knowing how to now get Russ off of my bed I remembered how my dad use to get huntsman spiders out the house when I was younger. The very few times he didn’t just kill them. 

I placed the heaviest object in reach (My shoes from earlier) on the container to go find a piece of paper which I would then slide under the container to lift Russ off my bed and save myself and hopefully my dignity. Although if I wanted to do that I wouldn’t write about it. Anyway, with Russ in his new temporary home I lifted him to certain freedom and walked outside and placed the container on the ground. After actually counting to 3, because this would help the situation, I removed the container and ran (jumped, skipped, freaked out a little, whatever) back to the house.

 

Deciding I didn’t need the piece of paper anymore I left It outside and went back inside to search through my bed for remaining enemies and calm myself enough to fall back to sleep. I knew the odds of another spider in my bed were slim but that little voice in the back of my head that resembles one of my brothers kept saying ‘What about the mutant eggs it layed?’ Or ‘What if he gets back in?’ They are crafty like that with their ability to scurry through mesh and a wooden door, not to mention the double brick walls that now separated us. 

I don’t think I have ever been more awake or sober at; well by the end it was 3.28 in the morning.

These are my true stories. Being a grown up is hard!

Author's Note

I did NOT hold the huntsman spider in the photo but I wanted to show the size I 'thought' it was. They grow bigger.

Reviews

[TabaD]

Fun reading. And good work with the expressions and descriptions.

[NewbieWriter]

I personally like this piece of text. I understand how you felt when you found a spider so close to you at night. You ask yourself questions: "What if it escaped," or "What would I have done if I didn't see it last night?" Trust me, I know.

As for putting it into a text, nice job. An interesting read. Well done.

[Derek Cummings]

Wow, giant spider! Cool and interesting read. I've never seen a spider that large. I assume it's a native of Australia.

[Derek Cummings]

Wow, giant spiders! Fun and interesting read.The spider is a native in Australia, I assume.

[Dexter Killian]

She was a spider;
DeevaMarx,
her venom strong as a cobras
you have a minute
just long enough to read her amazing work
and then to die with her words in your mind
forever wrapped in her eternal brilliance