This Way Out

An Original Screenplay by deeVaMarx - Full Movie Script

INT. GARAGE - DAY

A boy around 14 is tying his shoelaces in his garage.

He is wearing Converse All-star shoes, jeans that just fit nice but are frayed to bits at the bottom, an old bands T-shirt that's been worn a thousand times (probably by his parents) and a pair of aviator sunny's. 

He is your average 14 year old, shooting up in size and about to eat his parents out of house and home.

BEAT'S finishes his shoes, then grabs his skate board and an old cassette tape player. Switching it on so the music can be heard by all and sitting it on his shoulder he skates out his garage.

INT. TWO DOORS AND A HALLWAY - DAY

On each side of a hallway two doors open at the same time and two identical twin girls step into the hallway. 

They are also around 14 and average.

SARAH and SARA see that they are wearing identical outfits and don't like it. They walk back into their separate rooms and close the doors.

INT. POSH DINING ROOM - DAY

A cute, slightly emo looking 14 year old girl hovers behind a very important looking woman sitting in a dining room that looks like it could belong to the queen. 

It looks like TANNA wants to say something to the important woman who has no idea she is standing there, but decides to hand a note to the passing maid instead.

TANNA leaves quietly and the maid places the note on the table next to the important looking woman.

It says 'Mum, gone for a walk. Home later, love you. Tan'

INT TWO DOORS AND A HALLWAY - DAY

SARAH and SARA come out of their rooms again wearing another matching outfit. They sigh (this must happen a lot) and re enter their rooms again to change.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Sitting looking doe eyed at a kitchen table is an 8 year old boy eating his cereal. KEITH is watching his 14 year old brother tie his skates on. 

LOGAN is a little shorter than average which makes his three quarters look huge, his hair is a little messy but all in all he's a cute kid.

LOGAN and KEITH are both ignoring their parents scream a thon that's going on in the background. 

When LOGAN is finished tying his skates he looks at his brother, looks towards his parents acknowledging they are fighting and then skates out.

INT. TWO DOORS AND A HALWAY - DAY

The twins doors open only to slam shut. They were obviously wearing the same outfit again.

EXT. SHACK - DAY

TANNA knocks on the door of a shack which she then opens to reveal the most hippi like interior you can imagine. 

A slightly overweight 14 year old boy comes out smiling at his friend. BULDGE definitely has a pre-thuggish quality in him.

The pair walk down the street together.

EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY

LOGAN rounds a corner on his skates and joins up with BEAT'S on his skate board. 

Halfway down the Twins come out of their driveway to join the boys on identical scooters. They are NOT wearing matching outfits.

EXT. FOOTPATH HAUNTED HOUSE - DAY

A very uninviting small house can be seen over a road through some old rickety gates. 

LOGAN, SARAH and SARA go zooming past.

LOGAN is rollerblading slightly behind the scooters connected to each of the twins by a rope of some sort. The scooters are pulling him along.

BEATS comes sliding into the picture on his skateboard just casually gliding along behind the group. He is still carrying the old cassette player on one shoulder like they did in the early 90's before Discman's and ipods. 

BEATS stops outside the gates, places the cassette player on the ground and bends down to tie his shoelace, which has come undone again.  

SARAH, SARA, and LOGAN return on their rollerblades and scooters. They playfully wrap BEATS up with the rope.  

SARAH 

Beats, you coming?

LOGAN 

You know you might keep up with us if you lost that ridiculous hunk of metal?

BEATS 

(passionate)

Then who would provide the musical background of our young adventurous lives? Logan this is a piece of history sitting on my shoulders. Generation's of youth spreading their love of mus…..

SARA 

Yup we know, music equipment unappreciated blah blah blah sound quality blah blah.

BANG, a loud noise comes from the direction of the house. All four kids jump and look in the direction of where the noise came from. 

LOGAN, SARAH, and SARA look a little worried. BEATS face is pure excitement.

LOGAN

Sarah, you hear that?

SARAH 

Sara, you hear that?

SARA

Beats you…..

BEATS 

(excited)

Did you hear the echo on that!? How awesome would my tracks sound hooked up in there?

LOGAN 

Uh, bout as good your Mums 

(imitates his mother)

'You're Grounded' 

(normal voice)

voice.

BEATS 

Right, you're just shifting because the place is haunted.

LOGAN 

(sarcastic)

Haunted? Really? What gives that away? 

A cliché strike of lightning and a rumble of thunder comes from behind the house on this nice and sunny day, and a creepy shadow moves behind one of the windows of the house.

SARA 

Um, did anyone else see that? I think someone's in there.

SARAH 

No way. The place has been empty for years, they were gonna tear it down.

SARA 

(annoyed)

You totally saw the shadow, you were looking right at it when I was.

(to Beats and Logan)

You guys saw it right?

Another rumble of thunder and the kids look towards the house again.

TANNA and BULDGE walk up behind the kids who are staring intently at the house looking for another movement in the windows.

They also begin staring at the house, not knowing really what they are looking at. There is nothing but a boring old house to look at now and SARAH, SARA, LOGAN and BEATS haven't noticed the 2 new additions behind them. 

They have been staring for a while.

TANNA looks at BULDGE and raises an eyebrow in confusion.

BULDGE then gets his first and probably only idea for the whole movie. He sneaks up behind the kids.

BULDGE 

BOO!

The kids jump out of their skins and turn around.

BULDGE ends that idea and picks up BEATS'S radio/cassette player. He starts to shake it. 

BEATS tries to get it back.

BEATS    

Hey, careful with that.

TANNA 

(addressing the rest of the group)

So this is what you freaks do when you're not at school. Stare at really old architecture? 

(sarcastic)

How incredibly awesome.

LOGAN

Like patrolling the streets with your lug of a body guard is so much better? What do you want Tanna?

LOGAN gestures towards BULDGE who is in his own 'special' place trying to figure out the cassette player.

TANNA 

You're so right, I'm bored. What are you guys doing?

BULDGE comes back to reality.

BULDGE 

Planning a party?

SARAH 

(sarcastic)

Yes Buldge, and then were going to get Beats's Mum to ground us, make it really authentic.

BEATS 

(serious)

It will be the social event of the season.

BULDGE looks a little confused and then turns to TANNA to see if she's also confused. 

TANNA rolls her eyes.

TANNA 

(Pause)

I'm sorry I don't understand freak humour, all I heard was, 

(mocking baby talk)

we aren't having a party in that housey because we are lame and scared of our Mummy's and Daddy's. 

LOGAN 

(mocking)

You hear in baby talk?

TANNA glares a little at LOGAN. He does not seem to be affected by her coldness at all. In fact it's as though he is encouraging it.

He smiles smugly at her.

SARA

The place is haunted alright? We couldn't go in even if we wanted to? 

LOGAN

(quietly to Beats)

So we've decided it's haunted then?

BEATS

(quietly back)

Sara has.

BULDGE 

I feel like doing a dance? Do you know what kind of dance I feel like doing?

BEATS and LOGAN give a look that says 'BULDGE is a moron' and then BULDGE proves them right by starting to cluck around obviously doing a chicken dance. BULDGE is obviously not the brains of the operation.

TANNA 

I think he's trying to tell you all you suck and are a bunch of poultry. We wouldn't invite you to OUR party anyway.

LOGAN 

Seriously? 

(To Tanna referring to BULDGE still dancing)

You think he is cooler than us?

Everyone turns to look at BULDGE to take in his ridiculous dance. After a long moment he realizes he's being watched and stops. 

BULDGE 

Dare you to spend a night in there. 

TANNA 

(smiling at the idea)

Yeah scope out the place for us, then you might just be cool enough to come to OUR party.

SARA 

(whispering to Sarah)

When did it become their party? I thought it was our party that we weren't having.

SARAH 

Look Tanna, you know there is a haunted house in every town. Kids go in, they get spooked, they learn a lesson, they go home and another pathetic kids movie is made from it. 

BEATS 

Yeah, do you want to be supporting cruddy kid cinema with morals, that we are forced to watch in school cause were not old enough to watch anything better? Do you really wanna stoop that low Tanna, do you?

TANNA 

(Grinning)

Tonight, 11 o'clock, be at this gate, or be forever lame.

BULDGE 

What's it gonna be summer scum.

LOGAN 

(sarcastic)

Good one.

TANNA and BULDGE walk away. TANNA still smirking and BULDGE just having no idea of anything really.

The group turn back into each other.

SARAH 

(serious)

We can't….

SARA

(scared)

...Our parents would kill us. 

BEATS

Then we could create our own haunted house, forever spending the night, thus completing the cool cycle we were striving so hard to achieve back when we were alive.

Long pause.

SARAH

Thus?

BEATS

It's a word.

SARAH grins at BEATS'S embarrassment over the word.

LOGAN 

Look it's just an old house, and what else are we going to do? There are only so many places we can scoot in this town.

SARA 

I like scooting. What's the worst TB can really do to us anyway?

BEATS 

TB?

SARAH 

(a little embarrassed)

Like terberculosis, T for Tanna B for Buldge? 

(small to SARA)

Did I really have to explain that?

LOGAN 

Hey that's pretty good. 

(beat)

So you girls in or out?

SARAH and SARA answer at the same time but they answer the complete opposite.

SARA

Out.

SARAH

In.

SARA and SARAH look at each other realizing the other one said the complete opposite. They speak at the same time again.

SARA

I meant in.

SARAH

I meant out.

LOGAN

(slowly)

O.K. 

BEATS

That was THE worst proof you guys are genetically related.

LOGAN

Beats? In or out?

BEATS

Out. 

(making a stand)

I do not care who is threatening me with social suicide, I can't be bought. I wont be bought.

EXT. FOOTPATH HAUNTED HOUSE - NIGHT

The shot is exactly the same. BEATS is in the exact same position  but his facial expression has dropped a little. 

LOGAN is the only other one there also standing in the same spot. 

The boys also now have backpacks.

LOGAN 

You were totally bought, sold, bought again and then thrown out with the out of date products.

BEATS 

Shut up, what are you doing here then really? 

LOGAN 

(slightly unhappy)

Couldn't sleep, too much yelling.

BEATS nods understandingly.

BEATS 

You'd think your parents, as adults they would realize they're role models or whatever. 

LOGAN 

You'd think as adults they'd just get a divorce already.

BEATS crosses his fingers and squeezes his eyes shut.

BEATS 

If you close your eyes and wish real hard. 

BEATS re opens his eyes and spots a small boy has appeared behind LOGAN.

He obviously recognizes him as he kind of looks annoyed at the kid.

BEATS (CONT’D)

You get a tail.

LOGAN 

Huh?

LOGAN turns around to see his little 8 year old brother has followed him. KEITH is wearing cutesy kid Pj's and has big puppy dog eyes.

LOGAN  (CONT'D)

(surprised/annoyed)

Keith, what the…go home!

KEITH 

No way, if you get to sneak out so do I. 

LOGAN 

That makes no logical sense. No you don't.

KEITH 

Yes I do.

LOGAN 

No. You don't.

KEITH 

Yes I….

LOGAN

NO YOU...

KEITH

YES I...

LOGAN

(frustrated)

Aagghh.

BEATS 

(to Keith)

Runt, as much fun as it is to watch you and your brother play verbal tennis and no offence but this aint something you wanna be in on.

LOGAN 

(to Keith)

Go home.

KEITH 

Fine, I'll walk home by myself at night, go through the FRONT door and explain to Mum and Dad why I'm out AND where you are. 

(submissive)

At least they will start yelling at you then….

LOGAN'S eyes say it all, he understands exactly where KEITH is coming from. He looks across at BEATS who knows they are screwed if KEITH doesn't stay with them now. 

BEATS

You crafty little...

LOGAN 

Fine Keith, hug the gate and don't move.  

KEITH walks over behind LOGAN and BEATS and actually wraps his arms around the gates. It's actually really cute.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

(to BEATS)

Reckon the girls'll show? 

BEATS 

Nah, twins are smart, extra chromosomes. They don't care about the pressures that us guys go through on the verge of manhood. They're probably more worried about their feet getting cold if they came out.

TANNA appears next to the boys. 

TANNA

So you losers are actually up for this. I'm impressed.

LOGAN 

(grinning)

I didn't think it would take much…

TANNA glares at LOGAN.

BULDGE is escorting SARAH and SARA up the street towards the rest of the group. The twins have their arms defensively crossed and don't like BULDGE following/stalking them.

BULDGE 

Look who I found.

The twins both snap their heads towards BULDGE at the same time in annoyance.

SARAH 

We found you, you dink, you were lost remember? The street lights were out and….

SARA

You were all like 'dementor, demen....

Buldge pulls Sarah's backpack off her back suddenly and it falls to the ground, she doesn't fall but almost loses her balance. She reaches to pick it back up.

SARAH

(Under her breath )

Jerk.

BULDGE 

And look what stupid shoes they have on.

Everyone notices the fluffy slippers the Twins have on. The ridiculous fluffy slippers (puppet Angel and Puppet Spike, if I can.)

SARA 

It's freezing out here, we didn't want out feet getting cold.

LOGAN and BEATS snigger a little to themselves.

KEITH 

What's manhood?

Slightly Awkward Pause as the rest of the group notice KEITH and his random comment.

TANNA 

Who is that?

LOGAN 

He's my brother, and he has to come with or we all go down.

BULDGE 

(to Keith)

Mini loser.

KEITH 

(to Buldge)

Mega loser.

BEATS 

Woah Keith, no, we don't taunt the angry giant when we are half his size ok?

SARA 

(not wanting to be there)

Are we going to do this or not? Cause I can go home...

TANNA

(bitchy)

You could, and you can. It's just down that street.

(she points)

Corner of Chicken road and You'll never live the humiliation down Avenue.

SARA

Fine.

The kids all look in towards the house which is hauntingly serene all lit up by the moon. They are all a little scared by mostly determined to go inside.

KEITH is not scared at all, he kind of thinks the whole thing is fun and is totally oblivious to the fact its creepy and illegal.

LOGAN opens the gate slightly and gestures for TANNA to be the first to enter. She grins sarcastically at him and pushes BULDGE through first before following. 

The others then follow as well.

EXT. PATHWAY TO HAUNTED HOUSE - NIGHT

The group starts down the path cautiously looking around as they go. 

KEITH

(innocent)

Who lives here? Why do you all have backpacks?

SARA

I know this isn't going to happen, but I feel like some random thing is going to jump out and get us...

BEATS

(to Sara)

The random thing is following us already.

BEATS looks back at BULDGE who smashes his fist into his hand suggestively.

KEITH 

(to Logan)

I'm hungry. What ARE you all doing here?

SARA

(nervous rambling)

Or a cop is going to show up and arrest us for trespassing, or a vampire could bite us. This is totally where vampires would hang out. 

(freaking)

OMG is that a grave! 

(dismissing)

No it's a bird bath..

SARA has been speaking so fast there is not time to see if it was a grave or not.

SARAH

(to Sara, reassuring)

OK, breath between sentences, and that's not going to happen.

BEATS

Yeah, there's no background suspense music building.

KEITH

Is it always this bright at night? I though night was dark...

TANNA

(to LOGAN)

Shut. Them. Up.

KEITH

Do I need a backpack?

TANNA grinds her teeth.

LOGAN: 

Uh Keith, we're gonna camp the night, in the house, to prove that it's not haunted,

(to Sara)

Cause there is no such thing, were not scared,

(To Tanna)

Cause were not, and so we can have a p….

BEATS: 

…profound experience.

LOGAN

Right.

BEATS cut LOGAN off so he wouldn't spill the beans about a possible party there later. KEITH would probably have taddled. 

KEITH

Haunted? Like ghosts?

BEATS

Yes..

LOGAN shakes his head at BEATS, he doesn't want KEITH freaking out before they even get inside the house.

BEATS (CONT'D)

...but no, the fun kind. Like Scooby Doo.

SARAH 

I loved those movies. 

(quoting and impersonating)

'We're like, two trippy pea's in a far out pod man.' 

(to SARA)

Did you pack?

SARA 

Yup. Did you get?

SARAH 

Yeah.

SARA 

And remember the…

SARAH 

(slightly offended)

As if I would forget something like that!

BULDGE 

(to Tanna)

Twins are alt.

TANNA 

Way.

LOGAN

(to Tanna)

What's 'alt' mean?

TANNA

I don't expect in your lack of coolness to be able understand our awesome lingo.

LOGAN

(not impressed)

Right.

BEATS

(To Logan)

10 bucks says it's not haunted and a little old lady with a crochet throw answers the door.

LOGAN

Dude, stop spending so much time at your smell a Gramz's place. I don't even know what a crochet is.

BEATS

It's the type of stitch you use when knitting...

(pause to realize)

Yeah I get your point.

KEITH 

10 bucks says it IS haunted.

LOGAN

You don't have 10 bucks. 

KEITH

Do to.

LOGAN

Do not.

KEITH

Do to, do to, do to.

BULDGE

If I give you 10 bucks and hit you in the face will you shut up? 

KEITH stops talking for a moment thinking about BULDGE'S offer.

KEITH

Yes.

BULDGE

(dismissing Keith)

People are alt.

TANNA

(quietly to Buldge so Logan can't hear)

What does that mean?

BULDGE just shrugs.

SARA

Has anyone else noticed how LONG this pathway is?

The group of Kids reach the veranda of the house and walk very slowly up the steps to the front door. 

SARA (CONT’D)

(confused)

What was I saying?

EXT. VERANDAH OF HAUNTED HOUSE - NIGHT

The front door is huge close up, old, wooden and has carvings all over it. They are fairy tales but not the ones you know of today, they are picture carvings of fairy tales when they first were told, so they look a little disturbing.

SARAH

They're kind of pretty.

BEATS 

(sarcastic)

In a 'If I get eaten, I'm so coming back to haunt you all' kind of way.

SARA

They're Fairy tales, I think. Why would we get eaten?

(panicking)

Why? Would the tales of Fairies eat us?

KEITH

Fairies don't have tails.

TANNA

Unless there are gigantic flesh eating zombie rats in here, I think we will all be fine, and not on the menu.

SARA 

(closed eyes wishing)

Please be a nanna with a throw rug, please be a nanna with a throw rug. 

BULDGE     

Please be flesh eating zombie rats, that'd be cool!

LOGAN 

(to Tanna)

So you do know what a menu is.

TANNA throws a look at LOGAN and he shuts up. I think they are both enjoying the banter but really don't want anyone else to realize this.

They all reach the door and stop in front of it, now a little hesitant to go in.

TANNA 

Uh, Buldge open the door.

BULDGE goes for the door.

SARA 

(screams)

WAIT!

Everyone is startled and they all jump a little.

SARA (CONT’D)

 What if someone does live here?

TANNA: 

Fine then. Knock first, and then open the door when no body answers. The place is a dump, A creepy dump with a really cool but still creepy front door. Who would live here?

BULDGE makes a fist and bangs on the door as hard as he can. 

It sounds like a normal door, no spooky echo or creaking of any kind, but he did do it unexpectedly so all the kids jump again.

They hear no answer so he goes to open the door but can't because there is no handle or anything that could be used to open it.

BULDGE 

How do I open this? There's no handle?

SARA 

So…that's clearly the universe telling us to go home.

TANNA 

Nice try L1. 

(makes a L on her forehead)

We'll break a window. Please leave your halo's outside.

BULDGE walks towards a window.

LOGAN

(unimpressed)

Wait, woah are we really adding vandalism to the criminal record that already has trespassing on it? Keith's 8 Tanna.

TANNA just shrugs as BULDGE arrives at the window. Before he gets a chance the huge front door begins to creek and the kids all freeze.

Someone is opening it.  

Lightning strikes again in the background along with an owl hooting, some cackling laughter and wind howling. The door is now creaking slightly ridiculously in anticipation of who might be on the other side. It's totally tense.

A girl in her early 20's appears grinning too much at the door. All the spookiness stops. Everything about this girl is totally normal. Her hair, her clothes, she's just normal. 

Everything about the inside of the house screams Casper the House on Haunted Waxibbelector. The outside of the house is small, 1 story, compared to the inside which looks like a mansion.

ELIZABETH 

(excited and alt)

Well hey, not many of you just walk right up to the door! Come on in! Did you guys hear an owl?

The kids are a little startled at how the place is set up and it takes them a few moments to digest the invitation. 

They have managed to huddle quite close together.

SARA 

(nervous)

We didn't know anyone lived here…You're not a nanna...

SARAH: 

(nervous as well)

...You don't even have a throw rug, we're sorry. 

ELIZABETH

(confused)

What?

SARA/SARAH 

(to Logan and beats )

We should go…

KEITH doesn't appear to be afraid, just cautious.

KEITH 

You live here?

ELIZABETH responds by walking back inside the house so the kids will follow.

INT. HAUNTED FOYER - NIGHT

ELIZABETH 

Uh huh, spooky isn't it, but I like it. 

(Beat)

I've go it! You were gonna stay out here for a night to prove its not haunted. It's like big scary house dare, right? 

(a little creepy)

Are you scared yet?

The kids haven't even really processed that they have walked inside the house as another rumble of thunder can be heard from above the house.

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

(Smiling and looking up)

Timing. 

(matter of factly to the kids)

Oh I should tell you the house, the big scary house you are standing inside of right now, with all it's impossibilities that I'm sure you have already picked up on but wont care about soon enough because that's part of the houses secret, charm and impending doom. It IS actually haunted. 

(smiling)

So Congrats for facing your fears and coming inside!

The kids all turn to leave, oddly enough it's BULDGE who realizes he is inside the house, and that the door has vanished behind them.

BULDGE 

When did we come inside?

TANNA 

Where did our backpacks go?

ELIZABETH 

(Serious)

Oh my god, when did the front door disappear?! 

ELIZABETH is totally serious as though this happens all the time, or as though it has never happened before. Which ever crazy emotion works.

BEATS 

(worried)

The door? Where's the door gone? I should not be using the phrase 'where's the door gone?'

ELIZABETH 

Calm down music man. I can get you guys out if that's what you want. It's over here.

The kids look at ELIZABETH a little weary, then back at the space where the door was.

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

Not back that way, this …front…way… towards me. Not backwards.

LOGAN 

You mean forwards?

ELIZABETH 

(Defensive)

I didn't say that. But for exiting purposes, whatever you need to believe to get you to follow me.

She heads off in one direction and then stops to decide she would like to go in another one. 

The kids follow cautiously.

INT. HAUNTED RANDOM HALLWAY - NIGHT

ELIZABETH is walking along overly girlishly in front of the group who is travelling along as cautiously and as amazed by what's around them as they can be.

BEATS 

(To Logan quietly)

I don't like this.

LOGAN 

I know, it's like Casper the House on Haunted Waxibbelector in here. Except for her. 

Gestures towards ELIZABETH wondering ahead.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

She looks, normal.

SARA 

I told you we shouldn't have done this. They'll never find us, this place is huge.

SARAH

…but not on the outside, what's with that?

KEITH 

What do you mean 'find us?'

LOGAN 

Nothing Keith. Sara keep the freaking to a lower level please.

KEITH

(interested)

Find our bodies?

LOGAN

No. 

TANNA 

(stating the obvious sarcastically)

Yeah, were just trapped inside a house with no front door OR handle, it appears smaller on the outside than it is on the inside, which should only ever happen in a J.K. Rowling book, and oh yeah, with the little miss perky tour guide from hell. Nothing to worry about.

LOGAN 

(sarcastic)

Thanks Tanna.

TANNA 

Here to help.

BEATS

This was your idea Tanna.

TANNA

(fake cough)

Free will.

BEATS

(also fake coughs)

Peer pressure.

There is a beat as ELIZABETH turns around to face them, smiles and then turns back to continue walking. It's like she hasn't heard them talking at all. 

BEATS (CONT’D)

(referring to Elizabeth)

She LOOKS normal.

SARA

She's completely alt.

LOGAN

(frustrated)

Alright, what does that mean?

ELIZABETH 

I'm Elizabeth by the way, but you can call me whatever pops into your head. Eliza, Lizzy, Beth, Iza, Izzy, zabe they all work. Do you guys have names? 

She waits for them to answer but they don't.

ELIZABETH (CONT'D)

Numbers? Sounds? Whistle toots and cute little navy looking uniforms? C'mon sound off.

TANNA 

Um, I'm Tanna.

(pause)

I'm awesome.

LOGAN rolls his eyes.

LOGAN 

I'm Logan and this is my little bro Keith.

KEITH 

I'm Keith.

ELIZABETH 

(Nicely Sarcastic)

Thanks squirt. I was lost for a moment.

SARAH 

Sarah.

SARA 

Sara, we're twins.

SARAH 

Obviously.

ELIZABETH stops abruptly and stares at the twins, who are identical. 

SARA and SARAH step back a little stunned.

ELIZABETH moves in real close to both of them staring them both in the eyes. She then for no reason does the same to TANNA.

ELIZABETH 

You are twins, that's fantastic!

After saying this to TANNA who is giving her a 'what the' look, she gestures for BEATS to go next and continues walking.

BEATS 

Ah Davis, but call me what my parents thought it would be 'upper class' of them to name me, and you're on my hit list. It's Beats.

BULDGE 

Buldge.

This forces ELIZABETH to stop again and look at BULDGE.

ELIZABETH 

I beg your who what?

BULDGE 

Buldge, that's my name.

ELIZABETH 

Your actual name, like first, like your parents wanted to use it in phrases like 'Good night Buldge, love you Buldge, Buldge the canary and the cat don't play nice together in the washing machine?'

BULDGE 

Uh Mum named me, after the shape I made in her when she was pregnant.

Slight pause.

LOGAN 

(Whisper to Sarah/Sara )

That was something I could have lived with not knowing.

TANNA: 

(To Buldge)

Your Mum is such a Hippi. 

ELIZABETH 

(a little shocked)

Why did she tell you that? 

(In a deciding tone)

I like Keith the best. He's so little. Like Veal!

The kids exchange slightly weirded out looks.

SARAH

Isn't veal the name given to baby cow after it becomes meat?

BEATS 

(whisper to Tanna)

Like I said, If I get eaten I'm so haunting you.

TANNA 

(Whisper)

I thought it was a generalized haunting. And people don't eat people, you freak.

ELIZABETH 

Hannibal.

The Kids all turn to look at her and she simply changes facial expression from serious to extremely happy.

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

Movie. How old are you? You're so cute!

ELIZABETH and the kids have been walking for a very long time, they passed staircases, knights in armor, portraits of ELIZABETH with an older man and cupcakes, doors and lanterns. The usual set up for inside a haunted house. The cliché haunted house.

They reach a crossroads intersection inside the house. 

Down one long hall way is complete darkness lit up only by a fluorescent sign that says 'This Way Out' and an arrow pointing down the hallway. 

Another hallway is shaped very bendy and appears to have padding on the walls and holes about waist height and head height (for Elizabeth). All the way down to the other end there is a partly visual huge wooden Fairy Tale door, like the front door to the house. 

The last hall way looks completely normal and very similar to the hallway they have just walked down except it gets shinier and glossier the further away you look down the hall way.

ELIZABETH appears not to know which passageway to take. 

She is walking from one hallway to another round and round the group of kids.

Round and round them.

LOGAN 

Ah Beth?

ELIZABETH 

I know, I know. I'm getting dizzy too. 

She stops walking behind the group and pushes them down the bendy hallway.

INT. HAND HALLWAY - NIGHT

KEITH

(to Buldge)

How come we didn't go down the other way with the sign that told us how to get out?

BULDGE

You can read? You're like 4.

KEITH

I'm 8, and have quite the monosyllabic dictionary thank you very much.

ELIZABETH looks towards KEITH like she can't believe he just said that.

ELIZABETH

Wow. Totally my favourite.

TANNA

Was that you in those paintings Eli?

ELIZABETH

Yup.

TANNA 

Was that your Dad with you?

ELIZABETH 

(defensive)

Why? Do you think I looked too much like him, too masculine?  Too mannish? To hairy? I'll kill that painter… 

(Beat)

Yeah it was my Dad, he's around the place somewhere. Don't put your hands in the holes in the walls ok? 

The hallway has gotten smaller as everyone is walking through and the kids practically have to push themselves through the padded walls to get through now. They are almost struggling.

KEITH 

Why not?

ELIZABETH 

(Like the kids should already know)

They already have hands of there own they don't need yours too.

SARA and SARAH squeal a little and stick their hands above their heads as they squeeze down the hallway. 

The order of Kids is BEATS, TANNA, LOGAN, SARAH, KEITH, BULDGE, SARA and then ELIZABETH.

BULDGE 

(disbelieving)

Yeah right…

One of the hands in the walls comes out and grabs TANNA from behind she jumps a little and then turns and wacks LOGAN hard in the chest.

LOGAN 

Ow! Are you freaking kidding me?

ELIZABETH

(to herself)

Told you.

TANNA 

(angry)

Keep you hands to yourself, or I might chop them off and leave them in the holes in the wall.

LOGAN 

(angry back)

Your so high up there aren't you, why would I ever put my hands near your precious little self…

TANNA 

I know all about boys like you, my sister told me everything.

BEATS 

Your 17 year old sis dates a lot of 14 year olds then….good to hear she don't discriminate against age I guess….

SARA

Uggh just move...

Another hand pops out the wall and taps ELIZABETH on the waist, she shakes the hand as though agreeing with it and then pushes past the rest of the kids.

The kids didn't see the hand shaking.

ELIZABETH 

You might want to listen to Sarah, the hands are getting grabby.

Hands start popping out the walls all over the place. 

One grabs onto KEITH'S arm and he screams, another comes out and gives SARAH a squeeze on the bum, she screams and pushes into LOGAN who pushes into TANNA. 

Hands from either side of the wall have a hold of BULDGE'S T-shirt and don't seem to want to let go.

ELIZABETH reaches the door at the end and turns back to the group. She looks a little annoyed that the others aren't there yet.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Your making them angry…Hurry up…. Don't break their nails….

The kids manage to break free after slapping away all the hands jumping out of the walls at them and head into the next room passed ELIZABETH.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

That all of us?

She looks back in the snake hall way and moves a little so she can see round all the bends. 

She can see SARA being held against the wall, hands around her waist and hands gagging her so we can't hear her screaming. 

She is only in ELIZABETH'S line of sight so the rest of the kids can't see her. 

ELIZABETH turns back and counts all the kids quickly including herself so it makes 7 and so they don't notice one is missing.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 good. That way please, not back this way, that way.

SARAH 

Forwards?

ELIZABETH 

Whatever…

KEITH 

(Who has rushed to Logans side)

I don't like this anymore, I won't tell Mum and Dad where you are but I'm wanna go home now….

LOGAN 

(sorry)

I don't think it's gonna be that easy somehow.

TANNA pushes past LOGAN and KEITH and gives LOGAN daggers still thinking it was him who grabbed her. 

INT. 5 DOOR ROUND ROOM - NIGHT

The kids have entered a room with 5 doors around the edge. One they just came through and 4 others. 

TANNA 

Great, this is very Labyrinth. Where are the gargoyles?

ELIZABETH 

Ha that's funny, referencing a movie to lighten the situation, clever.

(looking around)

…WOAH…

BULDGE has gone to a random door and tried to open it. He has it a quarter of the way open and some random objects and songs from various musicals that don't exist come flying out. 

There is a lady singing about her size 9 shoe.

LADY

(singing)

My feet are size 9, which is awesome most of the time, except for the day I want to buy shoes.

There are midgets protesting about the cancelled remake of Wizard of Oz so they can get some work.

There is a three man band which has way more instruments than can be played by three people at one time. They are also tangled up together.

ELIZABETH rushes towards the extra people and ushers them back in the room and slams the door back shut.

She then turns angrily back to the kids.

ELIZABETH

(Angry)

Are you pure lard? Do you open random doors at home for fun?

BULDGE 

(scared he's being yelled at)

No.

ELIZABETH 

(Serious and not angry anymore)

Really? Why not?

BULDGE has to think for a moment before calming down and answering.

BULDGE 

I already know what's behind the doors at home. 

TANNA

Wow, that actually makes sense.

ELIZABETH 

Well, don't do it here. 

(rambling)

We could have been stuck in a B grade musical. Singing and dancing and prancing about like your so hyperactive instead of blood your veins are filled with that sugar sherbet you get in those straws that when you suck on the end it all dissolves together and then you can't get to the sugar sherbet your basically just sucking at your own…

In amongst ELIZABETH'S rambling she starts licking her lips. Slowly at first as though something tastes wrong and then as though it tastes good.

KEITH

I like those sugar straws.

ELIZABETH

Me too kid.

(pause)

Mmm, Cheesecake.

She then licks TANNA'S hand while she isn't looking. TANNA screams and freaks.

TANNA

WHAT THE HELL?

ELIZABETH

(ignoring the reaction)

Hm, Cinnamon. Weird you'd taste like cinnamon. I would have thought sometime tart like...lemon.

TANNA

(offended)

Did she just call me a tart?

TANNA'S eyes grow wide as though something bizarre is happening to her. When she looks down KEITH has cutely begun licking her ankle.

TANNA (CONT’D)

(yelling)

Logan, get your leech off of me!

LOGAN

(grossed out)

Ew dude, C'mon.

KEITH:

Cinnamon is weird.

TANNA:

It's more than weird, it's like illegal, get off!

KEITH stops licking TANNA.

BULDGE who has been laughing at this whole situation abruptly stops when KEITH starts to lick the back of his hand.

BULDGE

EEEeewww.

KEITH

(yum)

Apples.

SARAH starts laughing.

LOGAN and TANNA look at each other and take a step back before they lick their own hands. 

TANNA

Oh, my, god! I have a taste.

BEATS walks through the pair already sucking his own arm. He stops as they watch him.

BEATS

What? Who am I to deny my delectable flavour just because it's a little weird?

ELIZABETH

We really have to leave now, this is starting to freak even me out. And I found a door.

ELIZABETH walks to the door, opens it to enter a room and slams it behind her leaving the kids in the room by themselves for a moment all randomly licking themselves.

BEATS

(to Logan)

What do you got?

LOGAN

(to Beats)

Toffee, you?

BEATS

I think it's peanut but I'm not sure.

BEATS offers his arm to LOGAN who just shakes his head to say no.

ELIZABETH pops her head back round the door.

ELIZABETH

Um if you're waiting for a green light….

She flicks a switch on the wall and the room the kids were standing in goes green.

TANNA 

I think that means she wants us to follow her.

BEATS 

I think that means she's alt…

The kids begin to walk through the door way.

LOGAN

(frustrated)

Will someone PLEASE tell me what that means?

BEATS 

(finally explaining)

Alternative, crazy, loop de loop, psycho, left of cent…

LOGAN

Oh.

TANNA 

OK we all get it now, thesaurus boy…

BEATS offers his arm to SARAH before they leave the room. She laughs at him and moves on. 

BEATS

What flavour are you?

INT. HORSE HEAD ROOM - NIGHT

Inside this next room it's completely dark except for the night sky above them. There are trees next to the pathway they are walking on and tents set up around a little campfire. The kids have stopped licking themselves.

LOGAN 

Izzy we're outside?

ELIZABETH 

Not literally.

TANNA 

(To Logan)

That would be too easy.

ELIZABETH 

(imitating a hostess)

Please stick to the paths provided. Arms, legs and other appendages, boys, should be kept inside these lines at all times. No yelling, smoking, confusion, water bottles, or shiny objects of any kind will be permitted. So Tanna hide your bling.

TANNA 

Why?

ELIZABETH 

Why not? It's my house, my rules. Hide it.

TANNA takes off her bracelet and places it in her pocket. 

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

As you can see there may be creatures sleeping so try not to disturb them by screaming at their appearance.

SARAH 

(To Beats)

Creatures?

BEATS 

So we're still in your house?

ELIZABETH 

Absolutely! Now if you look to your left, or right depending on whether or not you are dyslexic you will see an elf. Or an elephant, I always get those two mixed up.

 BULDGE 

Why would there be an elephant in here?

ELIZABETH 

You are so right it must be an elf. I wonder if they went 

(growls the word)

Amuurican 

(back to normal)

tonight and made smores. 

KEITH 

The elves?

ELIZABETH 

No honey elves can't cook, there arms are too small.

KEITH goes to happily follow ELIZABETH but both LOGAN and TANNA protectively hold him back a little. 

They both let go when they realize the other is doing the same.

The group crowd around the campfire in amongst the tents and sit quietly. 

ELIZABETH pulls out one of the rods in the fire and begins to cook a marshmallow.

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

Help yourself. We'll just have a quick snack then I'll show you guys the way out.

The kids all reach for a rod to toast a marshmallow. 

They are all giving each other looks because for one thing ELIZABETH is acting like she does this every night and two because the tents behind them start to rustle about.

SARAH 

Eliza Ba B-Beth…?

ELIZABETH 

(giggling to herself)

Ba B-beth… haven't heard that….

ELIZABETH also notices the creatures in the tents are moving around.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Do you think we should have asked before eating?

One of the creatures has come out of the tents and is hovering right next to SARAH'S head although she hasn't noticed yet. 

The creature looks like a gremlin, except it has the snout of a horse on its tiny little head. It also has a disgusting phlegm problem.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

(quizzical)

Your not an elf or an elephant.

The kids all turn their heads in the direction that ELIZABETH is talking and shriek their heads off and run for it. 

ELIZABETH doesn't moved she is still eating her smore while the kids scream and run around the campfire and supposedly into the trees. 

They are in a room though so they hit the walls soon enough turn around and run in another direction. 

In amongst all this commotion one of the creatures picks KEITH up and runs into the darkness with him. 

When the rest all realize they are in a room and neither the creature nor ELIZABETH have moved at all they calm down and all stand come to a stand still.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

(To the creature)

So its cool, that I'm eating this? Thanks. I told them not to scream, sorry I guess they are all just the same. React first, think later. They even wrecked the illusion by leaving the path. I told them not to. 

The creatures growls loudly which causes TANNA and SARAH to jump a little. 

ELIZABETH giggles and then looks around the room a little at all the kids and decides its time to go.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Thank you for your hospitality. Really excellent service. 

The creature just grunts.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

The path leads to another door? Fantastic.

The creature shuffle runs away leaving a trail of phlegm behind it.

SARAH

Ew, so many gross things...

LOGAN 

(to Elizabeth)

What path?

ELIZABETH stomps her foot on the floor randomly and a path appears. 

The kids walk on down it and ELIZABETH winks at the creatures who has KEITH hostage in one of the tents and follows the others out.

INT. BALLROOM BUBBLE - NIGHT

All riding on mini quad bikes the group rides through a ballroom that is raining bubbles and glitter.

SARAH 

(in awe)

This is so cool.

ELIZABETH 

(also in awe)

I know I haven't found this room in ages. It's like one of the only safe rooms in the house.

SARAH 

How many rooms are in this house?

BULDGE 

What do you mean safe?

ELIZABETH 

Why is the sky blue? Where did the door go? What does alt mean? 

(pause)

Oh you wanted an answer I thought we were playing a game. Um 72 rooms not including the lavatories and I'm just trying to help create the 'Haunted' experience for you Buldgy.

BEATS 

I have never seen or heard of a haunted house like this before. 

TANNA 

That's cause you losers are chicken and have never been IN a haunted house before.

BEATS 

Have so… 

(mocking)

I go to Logan's place all the time.

LOGAN 

Ha Dude your so funny, at least my house isn't as scary as your Mum's family album and by the way never leave me alone with her again.

BEATS 

Deal. 

SARAH appears to have gotten herself backed into corner with BULDGE bullying her. 

He keeps ramming into her and popping bubbles so they splash into her eyes. 

He's laughing like a moron.

SARAH 

Hey cut it out. 

BULDGE 

Make me.

SARAH 

Stop...

BULDGE 

Make me.

SARAH 

Ow…

BULDGE 

Make me.

SARAH

What..?

BULDGE 

Make me.

BEATS sees what's happening and drives over towards SARAH and BULDGE. 

ELIZABETH is driving around the room slowly, opening and shutting her mouth around bubbles so that they pop inside.

ELIZABETH 

The pink ones taste like bubblegum, the green one taste like grass. I would have thought apple.

LOGAN and TANNA are still riding together.

LOGAN 

(referring to Buldge)

Honestly he's a bully, how can you hang out with him? He's alt.

(off Tanna's look)

Yeah OK that didn't work.

TANNA 

How can you hang out with your loser friends?

LOGAN 

They're my friends.

TANNA 

Yeah, see.

Pause.

LOGAN 

Well do you think you could stop your friend from being a jerk to my friend.

TANNA 

Why would I do that?

LOGAN 

Out of the kindness of your icy cold alt heart?

TANNA 

OK stop trying to make that work.

(beat)

We have one thing in common, were both good to our friends. 

(yelling to Buldge)

Buldge, quit saying 'make me' over and over, you sound like one of Beat's lame songs.

BULDGE quits talking but still taunts SARAH a little by ramming in to her again. 

BEATS has given TANNA daggers at her comment. 

TANNA drives off a little further towards ELIZABETH who has reached an arch leading into a dining room.

LOGAN 

Insult to Beats, compliment to me, insult, compliment, insult, compliment. 

BEATS

INSULTUMENT?

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The group enter the dining hall now strangely not on bikes and all take a seat around a 12 seater table. 

The table is filled with hundreds of cupcakes, gingerbread and cookies all the colours of the rainbow. Each seat around the table is set with a gold plate, cutlery and a glass. 

The room is just big enough for the table and around the walls are gigantic painted portraits of birthday cakes, the candles appear to be lit and the flames are flickering

ELIZABETH 

Now sit, please, anywhere you like and enjoy!

The kids all squish in to sit in various places around the table and begin to reach for something to eat. ELIZABETH slaps the hand of SARAH who is sitting nearest to her.

SARAH 

Ow..!

ELIZABETH 

What are you doing?

The other kids immediately stop reaching for food.

BULDGE 

(weary)

You said enjoy?

ELIZABETH 

And you would hun. I didn't say anything about eating in here. You can't eat this food. Well you can but you would be growing different sizes, dancing uncontrollably, crying, laughing, and turning to goo. You just…no. I don't have time for goo.

SARAH 

I don't get it.

ELIZABETH 

We had this kid come in here once with an Alice in Wonderland obsession and weird parental birthday issues.

(sighing)

Here, I'll show you.

ELIZABETH reaches in the table for a small cupcake and eats it. 

She waits for a moment, and then a moment more and realizes that nothing is going to happen.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Crap. OK well clearly that's a dud, but the rest are covered in spells. If you eat any you have to wait till it completely goes through your system till it wears off, and we don't have time for that.

There is another pause as everyone just sits around the table staring at each other not eating, not moving, not talking. 

SARAH

So we can't eat them.

ELIZABETH

No. 

ELIZABETH looks like she is waiting for something as the awkward sitting continues.

She looks around the room and then drastically underneath the table. 

The others pause for a moment and then curiosity overcomes them and they all look apart from BULDGE. He reaches for a blue cupcake and throws it in his mouth. 

INT. UNDER THE TABLE - NIGHT

TANNA 

What are we doing?

LOGAN 

Tanna I know its darker down here but if you squint your eyes and use your brain…

TANNA kicks LOGAN as best she can.

BEATS 

You two are going to have the most hilariously violent children in the world.

TANNA kicks BEATS.

BEATS (CONT’D)

Ouch.

LOGAN laughs.

ELIZABETH 

(confused)

Why are you guys having a domestically violent conversation under the table?

SARAH 

(also confused)

You looked down here first? We followed you?

ELIZABETH 

(sort of to herself)

Like sheep, edible sheep.

TANNA 

What?

ELIZABETH

What?

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

BULDGE sees another cake across the cable he would like to eat and goes to reach for it. As he leans across his hair turns purple and he rapidly shrinks in size and lands on the table top. 

He is about half the size of a fork and sounds like a chipmunk.

MINI BULDGE 

Agghhh, what, hello?

ELIZABETH, SARAH, TANNA, BEATS and LOGAN sit back upright at the table. ELIZABETH spots BULDGE on the table top. A creepy cold look comes over her face.

MINI BULDGE (CONT’D)

Elizabeth help…

ELIZABETH then switches and really badly pretends that she can't see him and as she looks away a witch about BULDGE'S size comes out of the gingerbread house on the table and zaps him into a cupcake and begins to nibble around the edges.

SARAH 

I'm really not liking this place, I feel, detached. 

BEATS 

You sound like Sara, normally she'd say something like that….

LOGAN 

(vaguely agreeing)

Yeah ….Where is Sara?

SARAH 

(realizing and freaking)

Sara?!? SARA….Eliza where the hell is my sister?

ELIZABETH 

(offended)

Woah! Language I know it's pretty sweet in here but we aren't in France, I see no bread products on this table. They'll be fine, probably found their way out when there was all that screaming earlier in the forest. Ready?

ELIZABETH gets up from her seat and runs on top of the table straight down the middle, smushing cakes as she goes. 

BEATS, LOGAN, TANNA and SARAH reluctantly get up, climb on top of the table and follow her.

INT. HAUNTED PORTRAIT ROOM - NIGHT

The somewhat smaller group enter another room with hundreds of portraits on the walls. Some are small and are pictures of holes in the walls, desks, or cupboards while others are pictures of windows or doors. 

TANNA 

(sarcastic)

Guess what, were in another room.

BEATS 

Another creepy room.

ELIZABETH 

Oh don't say that. 

(serious)

Especially out loud. 

ELIZABETH stops dead in the centre of the room and looks at all the pictures on the walls. The other 4 begin to search the room.

They can no longer see the way they came in, only portraits.

BEATS 

What's with the doors disappearing in this place?

TANNA 

Iza, how do we get out?

ELIZABETH 

That is quite possibly the most genius question I have ever heard. And the doors didn't disappear. 

BEATS 

Where are they then?

ELIZABETH 

All around us. See.

SARAH 

Liza that's just pictures of doors. 

ELIZABETH 

Are you sure?

ELIZABETH walks up to a portrait of a door and stares at it. She then puts her hand right into the painting and turns the door handle. 

It's locked.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

It's locked. We need a key.

TANNA 

Great. 

LOGAN has seen ELIZABETH reach into a painting so he decides to do the same. He puts his hand inside a portrait of a desk and opens a drawer.

He pulls a key back out the portrait.

LOGAN:

Like this?

TANNA

Where was that?

LOGAN 

In the other paintings. I figured if Lizzy could do it, I could to. It kind of tingles. 

ELIZABETH 

Mmm, you have to find the right door now. The key's only fit certain doors, and we need a certain door, not the others. Understand?

BEATS 

I have not understood a single thing that has happened since we walked inside the front gates earlier this evening, but if you say we have to put our hands in paintings to find keys, I'm quite ok with doing that.

ELIZABETH

You kids talk funny.

The group starts looking, and opening doors. 

ELIZABETH shakes her head at some and winces at others. 

She appears to not know which door is the right one. 

SARAH 

Do you think Sara could have gotten lost in here as well?

ELIZABETH 

Maybe, possibly, unlikely. I'm sure they're fine, not in anyway working their way deeper and deeper into the house, never realizing they will never get out. 

(Pause)

Kidding…You guys are so easy to fool. It must be the haunted house thing.

The group continue to look.

BEATS 

(To Logan)

Dude, she said 'they' again.

The pair look around cautiously to make sure ELIZABETH isn't listening, and then BEATS realizes.

BEATS  (CONT'D)

Where's your brother?

LOGAN 

Where's Buldge?

BEATS 

(Not caring)

Dude where's Keith?!

LOGAN 

Right, that is more important. He's probably with Sara.

SARAH 

(reassuring herself)

Right, they're together, and fine. In Finetown. Mayor's of Finetown. 

BEATS 

With Buldge.

Pause.

LOGAN 

Maybe we should go find them.

ELIZABETH 

Find who?

She has popped back with the group and rudely interrupted their whispering. Meanwhile TANNA has found a window portrait to look out of. 

It's still night but the view is strange, and when she looks to where the others are talking and looks back the view has changed, but she can't quite figure out what happened. 

The portrait was a reflection of her looking back inside, but now it's her looking into a mirror looking into a portrait outside.

TANNA 

I feel like we should be worrying more. 

(Pause)

They could still be in the forest room, lets go back.

ELIZABETH 

NO!

Everyone looks at her startled.

ELIZABETH  (CONT'D)

(hiding something)

No, they weren't in there. I bet they are that way, over there, that direction.

Elizabeth is pointing in a random direction that clearly leads to no where in particular.

BEATS 

You really don't like the word forwards do you?

ELIZABETH 

(angry)

Look Davis. 

SARAH and LOGAN gasp as though ELIZABETH has just said something completely taboo.

 

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

(getting frustrated)

I'm running out of time here. I don't need any unnecessary words thrown about.

LOGAN 

(to Elizabeth)

You shouldn't have done that.

SARAH 

Breathe Beats, in and out, in and out, just like an 8 beat.

BEATS breathes slowly as Sarah is hovering near him almost simulating birthing breathing trying to get him not to crack.

TANNA 

You guys are so...

LOGAN 

Do not say alt, and you weren't there last time someone called him that name.

ELIZABETH 

(still angry and not wanting to waste more time)

It IS his name. 

BEATS 

Excuse me miss 'my name is so fantastic I can change it anyway I please.' I'm glad you are so flexible and un offended by people calling you whatever they like. I haven't got those rights. I am forced to live behind a shield that is the very name and identity I have chosen for myself.

ELIZABETH raises an eyebrow. 

SARAH is standing right next to BEATS, hand on his shoulder still breathing for him as though she is in labour.

ELIZABETH

(to herself)

People are weird. And Pirates are funny. 

(to the others)

Forget doors we'll just use the curtains. Were here!

TANNA 

Where? What? We didn't walk anywhere.

ELIZABETH 

(upbeat again)

Walking's such a drag don't you think?

She stops to wait for an answer but no one does.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

No, okay that explains a bit I guess. Sarah hun pull the curtain for me.

SARAH pulls on the cord attached to the giant maroon curtain that has appeared in one of the portraits.

It reveals a stage set up with the old man from the portraits earlier standing in the centre holding spade as though he is about to dig up the wooden floor.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

ELIZABETH 

Hey Dad.

DAD 

(genuinely pleased)

Bethyboo, got some friends?

ELIZABETH 

(like he should already know)

No. They're here for the house.

DAD 

That's nice. 

(clicks and goes into Dad mode)

THE HOUSE! What….How dare you let so many get up here?

ELIZABETH 

(very apologetic)

I'm sorry I tried everything. I swear, the handway, Horse Head 

Camp.

(annoyed)

I even let the old woman in the Gingerbread house shrink and eat the fat kid and they still haven't tweaked.

There is a HUGE pause as TANNA, BEATS, LOGAN and SARAH look at each other and then at ELIZABETH in complete shock horror.

ELIZABETH then looks at her DAD, realizing she has let it slip.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Oh oh.

The kids scream, turn around and bolt in the opposite direction.

DAD 

Lizzy!!! 

ELIZABETH 

(anxious)

Don't worry they wont get out, you can't go backwards in here remember?

DAD 

Yes but if any of them go

(whispering)

'orwardsfay'

(normal)

…We need to catch them.

The pair then begin to let their crazy minds wander and they begin to ramble. The kids have long disappeared from the room.

ELIZABETH

You know they'll probably catch themselves.

DAD 

That's not the point.

ELIZABETH 

Isn't it?

DAD 

(confused

Wait, what is the point?

ELIZABETH 

The house need's to be fed.

DAD 

Right. Imagination

Pause.

DAD (CONT’D)

We've been standing here for a while.

ELIZABETH 

Yeah..Do you think we should?

She mimes slow motion running meaning to chase after the kids and her DAD nods his head.

DAD 

Yes, but I suggest we run at normal speed instead of slo mo mime.

ELIZABETH

You keep your boat afloat your way, and I'll keep mine sailing mine.

The DAD runs off. 

ELIZABETH follows but in slo mo.

INT. NEVER ENDING HALLWAY - NIGHT

The kids are running down a never ending hallway that was through one of the portrait doors they had already opened. 

They are all still screaming.

LOGAN stops and grabs SARAH forcing BEATS and TANNA to almost crash into them.

TANNA 

What are you stopping for!?

LOGAN 

I just remembered we gotta find Keith.

SARAH 

(remembering)

Oh and Sara.

BEATS 

Buldge?

BEAT

SARAH

OH MY GOD Keith's missing as well? 

(trying to remember)

Why do I feel like I already knew this?

TANNA

Because Tweedle duh I think we already did. 

(confused)

Do, know? It must be the house, like it's playing with our worry bits in our brains?

LOGAN

Worry bits?

TANNA:

(snapping)

You know what I mean. 

(figuring it out)

We care but we don't care, and because we don't care we care less about caring?

Long Pause as SARAH, LOGAN, and BEATS stare with there mouths slightly open. 

Beats even raises an eyebrow. 

SARAH

I'm going to run and scream again now. Who's with me?

They turn to run back the way they came, run for a bit but then realize it looks exactly like the way they were running before, but is a new hallway.

INT. NEW NEVER ENDING HALLWAY - NIGHT

TANNA

What? This is exactly the same.

LOGAN

Captain Obvious is right, it's the same.

SARAH turns around and around but sees that both directions are the same.

SARAH 

Well we can't turn around to go back to go forwards. And we can't go back. How do we get out?

TANNA 

Ok that really hurt my head.

SARAH

(angry)

That hurt your head? At least it made more sense than what you were rambling on about before.

TANNA

(angry/confused slightly)

At least I figured something out. I don't remember what it is now but I know it figured it out!

SARAH

(bitchy/confused)

What?

Amongst the fighting LOGAN has spotted a door and tries to get their attention.

LOGAN

Guys.

BEATS 

(overdramatic)

Were gonna die, it's gonna be horrible, and mythically twisted, and there isn't going to be a backing track?!

LOGAN 

Dude…

BEATS 

I know, I know I'm overreacting.

LOGAN 

No, well yes, but no look a door.

He points towards the door.

TANNA 

A door?

The girls stop arguing.

SARAH 

I think we have to go through it.

TANNA 

Normally I would make a sarcastic comment about how obvious a comment that is, but we didn't come through that door, how is that meant to lead us out? Or to find Buldge, mini dork, and half and embryo? 

(lightbulb)

Ooh that's what I figured out!

LOGAN 

(serious)

We have to go forwards.

TANNA 

Why?

BEATS 

(realizing)

Yeah Logan's right, ever since we got in here Elizafreakinuts never wanted us to go backwards, only forwards. She just never actually said forwards because that's how you get out.

SARAH

So she wasn't lying? 

(pause)

Through the door it is then. I guess.

SARAH is convinced so she walks through the door leaving the others to follow.

LOGAN 

Nice theory by the way Beats.

BEATS 

Don't reckon I'm right?

TANNA/LOGAN 

No way.

LOGAN 

We don't really have much else to go on though.

BEATS and LOGAN walk through the door and TANNA waits for a moment. 

Her face has a mixture of fear and 'can I please be anywhere other than here' look on it. 

LOGAN turns back for her.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

Tan come on?

TANNA 

It doesn't make sense.

LOGAN 

Nothing does. I don't think it has to in here.

LOGAN has his hand out for her.

TANNA

Why'd you guys come tonight? You didn't have to.

LOGAN 

(slight sarcasm)

Yeah we did. Were 14, it's summer, we have our reputations to uphold as future party animals and what else were we gonna do?

TANNA  

(small)

Are they dead?

LOGAN

(Serious)

I don't know. I think the house is playing with out minds. I keep forgetting the bad things right after they happen. I think its part of the trap.

TANNA 

Are we gonna die?

LOGAN 

(Mockingly and annoyed)

Yes.

TANNA'S expression is one of 'how could you say that?'

LOGAN (CONT’D)

Well I don't know! I hope not, now come on I don't like this mildly nice side to you it's scaring me.

TANNA 

(small grin)

You like the other side?

LOGAN 

That's so not what I said, now come on.

She takes his hand and they look at each other for a long moment.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

(slowly)

It's just, a hand.

TANNA

I know, it's just weird.

BEAT

LOGAN

(because it was so easy)

So's your face.

INT. HAUNTED HALLWAY - NIGHT

Down a hallway ELIZABETH and her DAD pause and move around in circles trying to decide which way to go. 

ELIZABETH also begins dancing while moving around. She continues while her dad stops and watches her like she's a freak.

ELIZABETH 

What?

She stops walking but is still dancing on the spot.

DAD 

You ate off the table didn't you?

ELIZABETH 

What?

She realizes she is dancing.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Oh crap.

DAD 

(scolding)

How many times have I told you not to eat off that table. It's disrespectful, dangerous, not to mention you look ridiculous.

ELIZABETH 

(worried)

I look ridiculous? 

She is doing the monkey or the robot or something.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

How bad?

DAD 

It'll wear off, just don't stand near me, you'll embarras me in front of our much needed guests.

ELIZABETH

The ones who are running and screaming away from us?

DAD

Polite is polite Eliza.

ELIZABETH

But insulting your offspring is OK?

DAD

As long as it's politely insulting.

BEAT

ELIZABETH

I'm doing the Chicken Dance aren't I?

Pan down, yes she totally is.

DAD

I can't really take you seriously right now.

ELIZABETH

I understand.

ELIZABETH dances off in one direction and her father smoothes over his hair in frustration and goes in another. 

DAD

(dramatic sports commentator)

On with the huntathon, It's Man against house against tween, who will win? Who will lose? Who will care!?

INT. THE ROOM WITH TOO MANY DOORS - NIGHT

SARAH and BEATS stumble into a room that is nothing but doors on all the walls. 

They stand a little door struck.

BEATS:

Door for your thoughts?

SARAH:

Wow.

They look further around the room and can see that the room is endlessly high and there are doors, doors and more doors.

SARAH: (CONT’D)

Ok one of these HAS to help us get out, right?

BEATS:

I think every door in this room came from the house somewhere?

SARAH:

How come?

She looks over to see BEATS has found a sign on one of the many doors and has been reading it while SARAH has been checking out all the doors.

BEATS:

'Cause I found a sign that says 'Every Door In This Room Came From The House Somewhere.'

SARAH walks over next to BEATS to check out the sign. 

She leans in close, almost a little to close to BEATS for comfort because its clear now he has a thing for her.

SARAH:

Oh yeah.

BEATS holds his breath a little and watches her.

INT. HAUNTED RANDOM HALLWAY - NIGHT

LOGAN and TANNA are still looking at each other and their hands locked together. They seem to not know what to do next. 

In the background behind them the DAD spots the pair and sneaks ridiculously up behind them. 

He springs towards them and places his hands in LOGAN and TANNA'S free hands, swinging them like a 3 year old would.

DAD

Gotchya! House wins. It always does.

Fear sweeps across TANNA and LOGAN'S faces. They try to run for it but the DAD keeps hold of their hands and pulls them back.

INT. THE ROOM WITH TOO MANY DOORS - NIGHT

SARAH looks up at BEATS who has been watching her, not in the same way because she spots a white ear plug tugging out of his top a little.

SARAH:

(curious)

What's that?

SARAH points at the ear piece.

BEATS:

Nothing.

SARAH:

(grinning a little)

No, it's not. Beats what is it?

SARAH reaches in for the ear piece which is attached to a cord.

BEATS tries to fight her off unsuccessfully.

SARAH pulls out an Ipod.

SARAH: (CONT’D)

(mocking)

No way! Beats you OWN an Ipod? I feel like I don't even know you any more. 

BEATS reaches out for the Ipod but SARAH playfully keeps it out of his reach. 

SARAH: (CONT’D)

(still playful)

What happened to the sound quality of music being constantly destroyed by microchips and Miley Cirus?

BEATS:

(defensive)

Hey, leave Miley alone, and I need to be up with today's technology so I KNOW the difference between good and bad sound is all. 

SARAH:

(disbelieving)

Right.

BEATS lunges towards SARAH again this time grabbing one of the cords.

SARAH tries to pull it free but ends up getting pulled towards BEATS. 

They are both smiling, widely.

SARAH: (CONT’D)

(playing)

Get off, do you actually have Miley on this thing?

BEATS:

Its research.

Sarah starts laughing, and Beats is grinning. 

When they have play fought close to each other again, Ipod between them, and their hands tangled up in the Ipod's cord and each others arms, they stop and stare at each other still smiling.

The smiles fade, their eyes close and they begin to lean in toward each other as though they might kiss. 

Just as their heads almost touch both their eyes flicker open as they realize there is a third party in the room.

SARAH and BEATS pull back to see ELIZABETH standing with her face almost unnaturally close to both of theirs kinda like she was in on the 'almost kiss' too.

BEATS screams, a little too girly but he screams.

SARAH screams.

ELIZABETH screams, although she has no idea what she is screaming about just that SARAH and BEATS screaming has made her jump. 

BEATS and SARAH run to the opposite wall and try to open some doors without any luck. 

ELIZABETH just looks relieved the screaming is over.

ELIZABETH

Give an attractive girl a heart attack why don't you?

INT. HAUNTED RANDOM HALLWAY - NIGHT

LOGAN and TANNA pull away from the DAD and go through the doorway their friends entered earlier. 

INT. THE ROOM WITH TOO MANY DOORS - NIGHT

They crash into ELIZABETH and scream.

ELIZABETH again screams.

LOGAN and TANNA move around ELIZABETH and crash into SARAH and BEATS.

All four scream, realize it's their friends and start frantically to try and open doors again.

The DAD comes into the room and puts his hands on ELIZABETH'S shoulders to make her calm down.

She screams again and so does the DAD. 

BEATS finds a door on top of a door that opens.

BEATS

Guys, here!

ELIZABETH/DAD

NO! NOT IN THERE!

BEATS, LOGAN, TANNA and SARAH rush through the door despite ELIZABETH and her DADS warning.

INT. BLACK ROOM - NIGHT

BEATS, LOGAN, TANNA and SARAH have entered a room that is completely black. All that is lit up is four racks of clothing in the middle of the room set up in a crossroads pattern.

Their voices echo and they seemed to have calmed down.

TANNA

(genuinely excited)

Cool, costumes.

Off LOGAN'S look.

TANNA(CONT’D)

I mean, great we now get to die in a drama freaks dream.

SARAH has walked really close to one of the clothing racks.

SARAH

Why do I REALLY want to try something on?

LOGAN

It's not peer pressure. 

TANNA'S hand beings to touch the fabric of the clothes, and both her and SARAH seem to be mesmerized.

TANNA

Maybe if we just tried something on, something with satin!

SARAH

They wouldn't be here if they weren't meant for someone to wear...

LOGAN

What? I don't think we should go anywhere near the clothes OK?

TANNA picks up an outfit and holds it to herself. SARAH'S eyes widen with jealousy. They are totally not acting themselves.

SARAH

Oh, that would look so cute on you, I'm so jealous you found it first.

TANNA

I know right?

LOGAN

Woah, woah, woah, we definitely should not try, touch, or smell anything in this room. Beats they're not acting normal, back me up...

(looks around to find Beats)

...here.

BEATS is fully decked out in one of the costumes. He's wearing a jumpsuit made from a shiny material with star's all over it. The stars glisten unnaturally bright as though they might even be real.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

(actually worried)

Dude, what the hell?

BEATS

Check it out ladies. 

TANNA and SARAH both have their jaws wide open as though they have spotted there favorite celebrity. They drop the costumes they had and rush to BEATS'S side.

SARAH

You're a star.

BEATS

Baby, I'm ALL the stars.

The girls begin to squeal and act nuts.

TANNA then turns away back to the clothes rack, a jealous glare in here eye.

TANNA

I want to be the stars, is there another costume?

SARAH then turns back too, also jealous.

SARAH

No way, I want to be the stars, you can be the clouds or something equally floaty.

The girls start fighting over the clothes. Fighting with each other and chucking clothes around.

BEATS just strikes a rock star pose and nod's his head as though there is music.

LOGAN

(panicking)

Oh, this is not happening. 

The girls squeal and fall to the ground.

BEATS

It's not easy being this attractive.

LOGAN

(to himself)

It has to be the clothes...

BEATS

I mean there are times I think maybe my attractiveness is just to make up for all the unattractiveness in the world...

LOGAN

Or the room, or the house, again.

Basically the room is bringing out their worst traits. 

The girls deep down are competing with each other on a social level so that's what comes to the surface for them.

BEATS obviously thinks highly of himself, possibly at celebrity level, and LOGAN turns out is not as confident as what you would first believe.

TANNA grabs a hand full of SARAH'S hair, then immediately retreats hands up.

SARAH

Be-yotch, you did not just touch the hair? Tell me you didn't affect the do?

LOGAN

Or maybe we've always been like this, and the room helps us see it? 

LOGAN grabs BEATS'S collar and pulls him to his face.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

The ROOM helps us SEE it?

BEATS

(nodding in agreement)

We see the room, and the room...is special. Yes. 

TANNA and SARAH have manhandled each other over to a door at the far end of the room. 

In a last ditch attempt TANNA Pushes Sarah out the door, steals the outfit they were fighting over as she goes, and slams the door shut.

TANNA

Who's the Be-Yotch now. 

TANNA turns back to the boys with a huge grin on her face. She is obviously pleased at her victory. 

In the same stance as before (LOGAN holding BEATS by the collar) the boys turn their heads towards TANNA.

TANNA (CONT’D)

I WON!

LOGAN

(scared)

A door?!

BEATS

Only the special rooms have doors. 

LOGAN

(to Beats)

What?

(to Tanna)

We have to go through it.

LOGAN has realized something again is wrong and they need out of the room.

TANNA

(refusing)

Like hell we do. I have everything I'll ever need right here. 

LOGAN

In this dark room, with only a clothes rack to provide you with life's comforts?

Beat.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

With Beats?

TANNA

Yes. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

LOGAN turns back to BEATS.

LOGAN

Beats?

BEATS

(shaking his head)

I'll be too much for the world out there to handle. They so aren't ready for all this.

BEATS gestures to himself up and down. 

LOGAN

(shyly)

And I'm not enough.

LOGAN'S eyes meet TANNA'S.

TANNA

Well, I'm right in the middle so I'll balance out the both of you. Come on. 

TANNA walks towards the door, turning  a few times to see that the boys are following her. 

They get to the door and push through into the hall.

INT. HAUNTED RANDOM HALLWAY - NIGHT

As the kids walk into the hallway their expressions all drop and turn to horror as they realize how they just acted. 

They walk silently forward towards another door, avoiding each others eyes as they go. 

LOGAN gets to the door first and holds it open for the others.

LOGAN

Let us never speak of this again. 

SARAH walks through the door.

SARAH

Agreed.

BEATS walks through the door.

BEATS

No complaints here.

TANNA walks up to the door and hover there for a minute looking at LOGAN.

TANNA

Speak of what? 

She then walks through the doorway with LOGAN following her.

INT. RECORD ROOM - NIGHT

BEATS, TANNA, LOGAN and SARAH have walked into a round room. 

The floor is one giant record and there are cherubs holding instruments on the walls near the roof. There are also more portraits ELIZABETH and her DAD around the walls. 

The kids just stare around the room to try and figure out where they are.

BEATS 

If I wasn't so scared right now this would be so cool.

LOGAN 

We're on a giant record. A silent giant record.

SARAH

Beats, moment of truth. How do we escape the music?

LOGAN

There technically is no music Sarah.

TANNA 

Look, the hole in the middle of the record? Do you reckon it's the way out?

BEATS

There are no doors in here that's for sure.

SARAH gazes around the room and finds the Cherubs. They look totally fake apart from their eyes which are definitely watching the kids. The eyes have a green tint to them.

SARAH 

Guys….

LOGAN: 

Maybe there is a ladder down the middle of the record or something?

SARAH 

Guys…

The Cherubs are now moving and peeling themselves off the walls. 

Floating in the air one Cherub strikes a noiseless note on his instrument. 

LOGAN and TANNA begin bantering again.

LOGAN 

Go check it out Tan.

TANNA 

(as if)

You go check it out.

SARAH

Guys...

LOGAN

Ladies first or something.

TANNA

You're meant to be a man and see if it's safe for the lady.

LOGAN

Equal rights babe. You're practically men these days too.

TANNA

Huh?

SARAH 

GUYS, HELLO!!

Another Cherub also strikes a note and after looking at SARAH looking at the Cherubs, BEATS, TANNA and LOGAN check out the Cherubs as well. 

They are not sure what is happening but as more and more Cherubs begin to play their instruments with no sound the giant record floor starts moving. Slower and slower, then faster and faster. 

The kids start to freak out a little and then BEATS notices the giant record needle still in the air.

BEATS 

(worried)

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

TANNA 

Why is there no sound? Shouldn't there be sound If we're on a giant record? 

(to Logan)

That's what they did, played music right?

BEATS 

(really worried)

There will be…and can I suggest us swiftly getting out of here yesterday please.

SARAH

(worried)

Swiftly?

BEATS

It's a word!

LOGAN has also noticed the giant record needle and decides it's time to run.

LOGAN 

Time to run!

Just as they begin to move towards the centre (as best they can with the floor flying round in circles) the needle falls from the ceiling and hits the record. 

The room bursts into music that the Cherubs are playing. It's very loud.

BEATS 

WATCH THE NEEDLE…

LOGAN 

WHAT?

SARAH 

TALES OF BARDS AND BEEDLE? That's not right.

TANNA 

NEEDLE, NEEDLE…

She points just in time and the group splits so the record can spin round the needle. 

Once past they try to scurry towards the centre hole in the floor. 

SARAH and TANNA fall through the hole while the needle swings round again and catches LOGAN'S pants. He is dragged along the record surface before BEATS helps him free.

INT. TONGUE ROOM - NIGHT

SARAH and TANNA land on a soft spongy if not slightly sticky surface.

It's quiet, and squelchy.

SARAH 

Are you okay?

TANNA 

Like you actually care but yeah….what is this?

SARAH 

The weirdest bouncy castle ever?

The pair try to stand and begin to look for a way out. 

It's almost impossible to stand because it's similar to standing on a giant pink waterbed. 

The spongy thing seems to be getting restless as the pair notice ELIZABETH'S DAD appear at the hole in the roof where they fell from. 

He is holding on and dangling in midair and laughing.

DAD 

Haha. We gotcha now! Do you even know what room your in?

SARAH 

Run.

TANNA 

Where, how?

SARAH has noticed that they are on a tongue that is trying it's best to swallow the girls.

DAD 

You landed in the mouth HAHA! Hey wait.

The girls are scurrying about struggling to get out. 

ELIZABETH'S DAD lets go of the ceiling and holds his knees as he dive-bombs onto the tongue. 

When he lands it creates a ripple effect and the girls fall and roll to the back of the tongue.

INT. RECORD ROOM - NIGHT

Meanwhile the boys are still scrambling about on the giant record, when ELIZABETH appears at the other side across from them. 

The boys stop and stare across at her, she has also stopped and is standing still with crossed arms staring at them. Now when I say stopped, they are still on a giant record revolving going around the room. 

ELIZABETH 

(evil)

C'mon boys, you're the only ones left. What are you really going to do if you get out? 

(to Beats)

Become a music hobo with every piece of musical equipment known to man stored in your mothers garage while you work at a half assed radio station sweeping the floors to pay it off? 

BEATS

(offended)

Hey harsh.

ELIZABETH

Or you. 

(to Logan and still evil)

Not being able to sustain a healthy relationship because actually not fighting with someone is too dysfunctional for you?

LOGAN 

(angry and offended)

Shut up, how the hell would you even know. You're pathetic, crazy and definitely alt.

LOGAN looks across to BEATS briefly to make sure he used the word right. BEATS nods his head.

ELIZABETH

Well, yes but at least I've stopped dancing now. Are you sad yet? Do you, you know, just want to come with me? Voluntarily?

BEATS 

(sarcastic)

Lets think about that for a second.

There is silence as ELIZABETH is actually thinking about it. 

LOGAN and BEATS look at each other as they can't believe that worked and get up again to try and make it for the centre of the room.

ELIZABETH 

Nope, I'm still good with you volunte….Hey….

She realizes what they are doing and starts to make a run for the centre as well. 

The boys beat her and slide down the hole. 

INT. TONGUE ROOM - NIGHT

They land right on top of ELIZABETH'S DAD.

DAD 

Ewww Tongue bats…..Oh wait it's you guys. 

(yelling up for Beth who is at the hole looking down)

Bethykins jump to Daddy?

ELIZABETH 

That's creepy Dad and I'm not jumping down there. You know I hate the papillae.

BEATS 

Papillae???

LOGAN  

Tongue bats?

BEATS

(to Logan)

Dude we're in a giant mouth. Mouth's swallow!

The boys start to struggle and panic a little. SARAH and TANNA open a door that is imbedded in one of the tonsils. Actually there are doors in both the tonsils and after TANNA realizes she can't squeeze in the door frame next to SARAH, disappears and reappears at the other tonsil door.

SARAH 

(yelling out from side)

Guys, over here hurry.

The boys scramble over to the doorways and climb out leaving ELIZABETH and her DAD arguing again. 

LOGAN goes to TANNA'S side and she awkwardly helps him climb out.

Through the door the girls slam it shut and the boys get to see where they are.

INT. HAUNTED HOUSE FOYER - NIGHT

Considering they were at two separate doors a second ago, the group is now standing together.

BEATS 

Woah…

LOGAN 

Are we? No..we can't be?

TANNA 

We can, and we are.

LOGAN 

But there's no door?

TANNA

How is that different from pretty much any room we have been in tonight? You know, except for that room where there was nothing BUT doors.

The four have ended up in the entrance hallway again, where they were when they first entered the house.

SARAH 

Well there IS a door here, we came through it, there has to be.

TANNA 

Ok so lets search the room.

LOGAN 

In a forwards motion.

TANNA 

Yup that's exactly what I meant.

The four begin to move hesitantly around the room, looking for the door and trying not to bring anything to life. 

SARAH 

(serious)

How are we meant to go forwards to find the door we came in the house through when technically you'd have to go backwards to go through it to go forwards?

TANNA grabs her head in mock frustration.

TANNA 

Ouch, Tweedle dum stop doing that.

LOGAN 

(sarcastic)

Yeah Sarah, you know there's not much in Tan's head in the first place.

BEATS 

And if you lean in close enough you can almost hear the words bouncing off the inside of her skull..

TANNA just rolls her eyes and then spots a large portrait of ELIZABETH and her DAD standing next to the front door!

She points towards it.

LOGAN 

See, now she's lost all speech capabilities and has been forced to sign.

TANNA 

How's this for a sign. 

She flips him off. 

LOGAN 

How come you don't attack Beats, he payed you out too?

TANNA turns immediately and pushes BEAT'S backwards. 

She turns back to LOGAN.

TANNA 

Happy now?

SARAH: 

Oh my god Beat's, what did you touch?

BEATS has started fading away.

BEATS 

Nothing, what's going on? Why are you guys are fading?

TANNA 

Oh no.

LOGAN 

We're not fading, you are.

TANNA 

(genuine)

I'm so sorry.

Everyone tries to grab him but he is transparent and fading fast.

LOGAN 

(to Tanna)

What do you mean sorry?

TANNA 

I pushed him backwards.

LOGAN 

Yeah we all saw…… 

BEATS

..ack..ards..?!

LOGAN

(realizing, BACKWARDS)

Beats...

SARAH 

Guys, the door in the portrait over there is opening.

The Portrait door opens and we can see it's the way out.

BEATS 

What ar…..you…aiting….or……GO!

The three look at each other and then at BEATS. 

They don't want to leave him, even TANNA doesn't want to leave. 

BEATS mouths the word 'Go' again before he vanished completely. 

TANNA, SARAH and LOGAN stare in silence for a moment where BEATS was.

TANNA 

I didn't mean to….I…

As they still stare, a shadow re appears where BEATS was.

SARAH

Beats?

We all assume its BEATS reappearing but as the image gets clearer we can see it's ELIZABETH and her DAD.

DAD

(to Elizabeth)

...and that's how Marco actually found Polo...

TANNA

RUN!

The kids scream again and bolt for the door portrait. 

Once out the door closes behind them.

EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE VERANDAH AND YARD - NIGHT

LOGAN, SARAH and TANNA make it out the house and start to make a run for the gate; all extremely relieved they are outside. 

It's very quiet and night like again.

SARAH who is out in front, all of a sudden stops dead in front causing TANNA and LOGAN to crash into her.

TANNA 

What is wrong with you? We're nearly there.

SARAH 

Log…

The pair look at each other and then back at house.

SARAH (CONT’D)

We gotta go back. Sara, Keith? Remember? Buldge?

LOGAN has a deeply confused look on his face as he tries to remember.

LOGAN

Beats.

LOGAN and SARAH hesitantly start to walk back to the creepy fairy tale door.

TANNA is scared but rolls her eyes and slowly walks up behind them. 

They hover on the verandah in front of the door.

LOGAN (CONT’D)

Sara…?

SARAH 

She's not dead; I know she's not dead.

LOGAN 

How?

SARAH 

I just know.

TANNA 

Is that, that freaky twin thing?

SARAH 

I'm not sure, but if she's ok then maybe Keith is as well, and Beats, and Buldge.

TANNA 

You heard Iz, the witch ate him.

SARAH

(appalled)

So you're gonna give up without even knowing?

LOGAN who has looked back at TANNA at this point begins to say something but when he looks back to where SARAH was she's gone. She has gone back into the house. 

Both TANNA and LOGAN can't believe that SARAH went back in. 

TANNA

(unbelieving)

Oh no, oh my god, she's crazy. She's now dead and crazy.

LOGAN

How did she get back in? There was no door handle?

The pair stare at the door trying to decide what to do next.

TANNA

(quietly)

We should go.

LOGAN 

Can we do that?

TANNA 

C'mon, were out! Were safe. What about our families? Ok not our families, but the people we like, and who like us? We have to go home. We have to live. We have to warn people about this place.

LOGAN 

No I mean can you do that Tanna? Go home, live the rest of your life knowing you walked away? We don't know any of them are actually dead, how can you just leave without being sure? 

TANNA 

Logan we'll be as good as dead if we go back in there, no good to anybody, we have a chance out here. 

(smaller)

You and me we'll be fine.

Half way through TANNA'S little speech LOGAN has turned around and walked right up to her. 

TANNA (CONT’D)

(slightly more scared)

What are you doing?

He has decided what he is doing and without giving her time to react he kisses her.

LOGAN 

Sorry, kinda felt like doing that incase I don't see you again.

She is shocked. 

LOGAN (CONT’D)

(saving her)

Go home.

LOGAN turns and walks back into the house and TANNA is left to process everything. 

Her expression pretty much stays the same as she slowly looks around her and sees that it's still night and very quiet and she is all-alone. 

There is no noise apart from normal night noises and her beginning to cry.

TANNA takes a step towards the gate (the way out), but then pauses and turns and walks up the door. 

She closes her eyes tight and begins breathing heavily. 

After what seems like a very long time TANNA is extremely terrified as she hesitantly pushes the door back open and steps through.

INT. HAUNTED HOUSE FOYER - NIGHT

On the inside TANNA stands in the one spot with her eyes still closed.

VOICE 

Why you gotcha eyes closed like that? Sommen wrong withem? There's a lot of water commen out of them. Maybe you should have that looked at.

She opens them to see she is in the foyer again except this time it is full of lights as though she is inside a kaleidoscope. 

Tugging on her pant leg is what looks like half a garden gnome, half an elephant. Is it wrong to make him Irish because he's small?

TANNA 

Please don't hurt me.

VOICE 

Las, I'm half a half of your size, unless you have a phobia of small things I can't do nothing to ya. 

TANNA 

What's wrong with you?

Meaning the fact he's a creature she has never seen before.

VOICE 

Ah I see, you find out I'm not a threat and your true colours come out.

LOGAN appears.

LOGAN 

Don't be offended Mansion, you're not that special to her.

TANNA 

Logan!

TANNA runs up to him and hugs him before realizing what she's doing she pulls away awkwardly, blushing.

MANSION

Ah, young love.

The pair take another step away from each other.

MANSION (CONT’D)

You'll both be needing these back.

MANSIONS hands them tiny versions of their backpacks back to them. 

MANSION (CONT’D)

And these...

He hands them random cupcakes.

MANSION (CONT’D)

And these...

Hands them random costumes.

MANSION (CONT’D)

And don't forget your certificates of participation.

LOGAN and TANNA share weird looks before their backpacks spring back to normal size and they both lose grip of everything they were holding. It all falls to the ground.

TANNA 

I don't understand.

MANSION

I thought you figured out that you wouldn't understand in here. That don't matter. You did the right thing so it will never matter that you don't understand why. Just that you did, and boy am I glad because if you hadn't come through that door I would've had to kill your friends.

LOGAN/TANNA 

(alarmed)

What?

MANSION 

Well I couldn't let her go thinking you were all in here, and then let all of you go as well. That's just makes for bad storytelling.

LOGAN 

All of us go? Where are the others?

MANSION 

They'll be down in a moment. You're all quite lucky you see not many actually come back for their friends. Most just leave and go on with their lives. Good for us, the house gets a feeding. 

TANNA 

You actually eat people?

MANSION 

You make it sound barbaric. No the house needs imagination to keep the fairytales and stories alive is all. But, like every fairytale unfortunately the house has its morals. Seeing you all came back inside to save your friends knowing you may never come out...

ELIZABETH 

...you get to go home isn't that fantastic!!

ELIZABETH has appeared behind the pair with the rest of their group. 

She leans down to hug TANNA and LOGAN, who stand completely still, awkward.

SARAH is holding hands with SARA. 

KEITH runs up to LOGAN and hugs his leg and gives him a smore he saved from the horseface men, but LOGAN refuses.

BEATS hi fives LOGAN and pushes his way in the middle of the twins with an arm round each of their shoulders. 

The girls roll their eyes. SARAH smiles a little wider at him.

BULDGE walks up to TANNA a little traumatized, she looks over at LOGAN and then hugs her friend who then hugs her back.

LOGAN 

Where's your Dad Elizabeth?

ELIZABETH 

Daddy gets a little cranky when food gets away. He's probably sulking at the end of the rainbow; the shiny gold makes him feel better. 

MANSION

MY GOLD! Goodbye, good luck, get out!

MANSION runs off out the room leaving the group to pick up their bags and head for the door.

ELIZABETH 

Elfants… (rolling her eyes as though this is typical behavior)

KEITH 

Can we go now? I'm tired.

ELIZABETH 

Sure can squirt, don't come back!

TANNA: 

I don't think there's any chance of that.

ELIZABETH looks a little hurt.

TANNA: (CONT’D)

No offence.

ELIZABETH shrugs it off and drops the remaining tiny back packs to the ground and they grow to normal size. 

The kids all pick up their gear and head for exit. 

LOGAN walks up to ELIZABETH.

LOGAN 

What about you?

ELIZABETH 

What about me? I'm home, I'll be fine. I'm used to it here.

LOGAN 

You can't leave can you.

ELIZABETH 

(Smiles)

No. So you really shouldn't take something like that for granted. It'll keep you sane.

BEATS walks back to his friend and drags him by the shoulder. They walk away from ELIZABETH. 

LOGAN 

She wasn't talking about just getting out of here was she?

EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE VERANDAH AND YARD - SUNRISE

Everyone has left the house and begins walking towards the gates. 

LOGAN reaches out for KEITH'S hand. He returns it, happy his brother wants something to do with him.

BEATS 

I don't think so, I think it's one of those comments you wont understand till later in life. 

(confused)

I'm actually having trouble remembering half of tonight.

SARAH 

(to Sara)

Did you see…

SARA 

(to Sarah)

Yeah, how bout when….

SARAH 

I know, and the…

SARA 

With all the glitter and hi def pick up?

Pause.

SARAH 

(Confused)

No actually I don't. 

As they leave and are walking away LOGAN lets go of KEITH'S hand and stops to look back at ELIZABETH standing in the doorway.

KEITH 

(to Buldge)

Hey Mega loser want a smore?

BULDGE 

Not really hungry runt, shove off.

BEATS 

I'll have one Keith.

KEITH gives BEATS a Smore.

BEATS (CONT’D)

Hey it kinda looks like a cassette, cool!

KEITH

(innocent)

What's a cassette?

BEATS shakes his head a little disgusted.

BEATS

Generation Z, what will we do with you all?

TANNA walks back to stand next to LOGAN and also watches ELIZABETH close the door to the house. 

She hesitates and then puts her hand in his. 

LOGAN looks down and then at TANNA. The pair smile slightly at each other before turning to join the others as they leave the yard.

LOGAN 

Do you think this'll change us at all?

BULDGE has decided he wants a smore after all and steals the one that BEATS was eating. 

BEATS 

Hey…!

BULDGE 

Can it drum boy.

TANNA

(Confused, to Logan)

I don't actually remember much of what happened, inside. I just, have this feeling I don't want to go back in and I know I'm a better person for it.

LOGAN

So, everything changed then?

TANNA smiles in agreement.

BULDGE gives BEATS a shove into the twins who squeal a bit.

BEATS 

So, where are we gonna have this party?

TANNA grins a little at LOGAN who smiles back. 

LOGAN 

Let's have it at my place.

The kids reach the gate and walk through to leave as the sun fully rises over the house in the background. 

CREDITS ROLL

During Half Screen Credits

INT. RAINBOW ROOM - DAY

ELIZABETH walks up to her DAD who is sitting on the ground, sulking into the gold. 

The room has one beautiful rainbow with pots of gold at each end. There are rainbow reptile serpents attached to the walls spitting out gold every now and then.

MANSIONS is collecting it.

MANSION

It's mine, all mine! I have a written contract!

DAD

(whining)

How are we meant to survive without imagination? I wanted to renovate.

ELIZABETH

(caring tone)

Not all kids are good, Dad. We'll find some selfish horrible brats soon. They always turn up for senseless destruction and invasion of private property.

DAD

(pouty)

It's not fair!

ELIZABETH picks up a coin and offers it to her DAD but before he has time to take it from her, MANSIONS steals it.

MANSION

CON-TRACT!

ELIZABETH

It's food! It's not real gold Mansions.

DAD

(stating)

It's not real.

Panning away from the room we travel with the camera.

INT. HAUNTED RANDOM HALLWAY - DAY

Down the dark hallway we saw earlier the fluorescent sign with the words 'This Way Out' lit up begin to flicker and finally go out.

BLACKOUT

Full screen credits.

Author's Note

Let your inner child enjoy and if you have one feel free to read it to your actual child so they can enjoy it too!

Reviews

[Annie N.]

this is really good! i feel so satisfied after reading it! excuse my ignorance but what does CONT'D mean? I love this screenplay and will definetely show this to all of my friends. the teaser/trailer should be included in this!!! i know it was not meant to be but i feel like it really added to the story! i love how this is so uncliche, and i hope that it does get made into a real movie! i loved the end with the "contract" part. great write :)