As time passed

A mother's tale from the sidelines of a successful man.

A million words flitted through my mind,
A billion prayers fled from my lips heavenward,
I stood by the wall, leaning heavily behind,
My heart like the wings of a hummingbird.
You stood on the pavilion, tall and proud,
Your palms glistened with the efforts you took.
Your eyes tried to find mine in the crowd,
But I stood by your side, the place you didn't look.
You began your speech, amidst applause,
My palms clapped the loudest, my tears the quietest.
"Thank you for this honour, this win," it goes,
I should know most, I wrote it down for you.
You shook hands with the host, took your prize,
I stood by the sidelines, leaning on the wall.
You finally found me, and smiled like a sunrise,
A simple gesture that brightened the whole hall.
I stood taller, clapped harder, and cheered louder yet,
And hugged you tight, right off the stage, with love.
Like a little child, after a second, you began to fret,
I smiled into your shirt, because it was here and now.
"How did I do, mom?" You asked, like you always did.
"Not bad, not bad at all." My reply stayed the same.
We walked away, hand in hand, as successful did-
You got the fame, and I got to play the game.
My hands clutched yours, my legs longed to buckle,
You took me home, the perfect epitome of bliss.
The way your demons I used to tackle,
You soothed mine away with a goodnight kiss.

You woke up before me the next day, a rare miracle,
You stumbled around blindly in the kitchen,
Looking for ingredients, a comic spectacle,
Reeling like a full grown, headless chicken.
I woke to the sound of shattered glass,
And stormed out of bed in all my armour,
But, even though my anger did surpass,
My love for you eventually won me over.
I packed you your favourite sandwich,
Laid out your clothes while you showered.
I darned the shirt that was missing a stitch,
And ran out in the last minute to buy curd.
Your phone began ringing, the messages poured in,
Your mouthfuls became pecks, then completely stopped.
You forgot to tell me goodbye in all that din,
As you strode with muddy shoes on the floors I mopped.
I sighed and set your room straight again,
Made your bed, folded your laundry,
I asked you to buy balms for my back pain,
But you probably labelled it sundry.
I fell asleep at the couch that night,
My aching body a living nightmare,
I was woken up by the glaring light,
Sun had risen, but you weren't there.

A charity gala at your office tonight,
I wait for you to pick me up as always.
Your speech in one hand, clasped tight,
And your necktie waiting, like the old days.
The doorbell rings, and I rush to open,
I smile as I do, ready to go with you.
I wasn't prepared, the news was sudden-
You don't need me now, you have someone new.
She is slim and tall, a pretty little thing,
An awkward smile, a nervous hello.
I nod absently, still completely reeling-
This wasn't how I thought it would go.
I wave from the window as you leave with her,
But you don't look back, not even once.
I busy myself with making a lone supper.
So engrossed, I had forgotten that time runs.