Endless Suffocation

This poem is about a girl talking to the love of her life who had committed suicide .

They say you left 

They say you are gone 

Gone away from life 

Resting somewhere far 

My heart says don't

Don't believe 

Don't believe their lies 

It's no way you left

You would never forsake this life  

 

I call your name

Late at night 

But in vain 

In vain 

I pray for god 

To ease my pain 

But in vain 

In vain 

 

You are nowhere to be found 

Still I can't believe 

How could you leave ? 

How could you give up ? 

Still I can't understand 

 

Eyes filled with tears 

I whisper your name 

Only god feels my pain 

When you surrendered to death 

You took everything I had 

Even the breath that kept me alive 

The day you surrendered to death 

I died a thousand time inside 

 

I walk around carrying the guilt 

Of the deads your hands have committed 

I don't know if I should try to forgive you 

Or try to forgive myself

A nightmare after a nightmare 

The scene of your death is forever on my mind 

Your face is forever in my mind 

I see you when I close my eyes 

I imagine you lying beside me at night 

Singing me a lullaby of love 

 

Days are passing me by 

A lot of feelings trapped inside 

A lot of words remained untold 

Still I can't understand why 

 

I never had the chance to say goodbye 

You left me silently in the dark 

You chose the worst way to leave 

It's like I never had you 

It's like you were just a beam of light

That darkness killed slowly and silently 

still I can't understand why 

 

I'm now a prisoner of a memory 

A prisoner of a faded life

I'm now a prisoner of an endless love 

A prisoner of your love 

A prisoner of my past

 

I'm  constantly mourning 

At the bay of tears 

Where lives end 

Where I drown my fears 

I silently sail away

With a broken spirit 

 

I have failed to save you 

From harm 

I reach out to feel the rain 

Gently falling 

On my palms 

I look around me

Trying to recognize 

The tree you were once hanging on 

 

Still I can't believe 

Still I can't understand why 

Why did you took your own life ? 

I don't know who's to blame 

How couldn't I see your pain ? 

Why couldn't I see it coming ?  

 

I don't know how to handle your absence 

I've never been alone before 

Why did you crash our world ? 

The only home I had 

 

I walk around carrying you inside of me 

The wound you left in me never healed 

It's still fresh , it never stopped aching 

It's always shedding blood 

I can't kill the love I have for you 

It's bigger than me

It's bigger than anything I ever had 

This memory of yours is all that's left 

Reviews

[DeepStruggle]

thank you I appreciate it =)

[...]

. oh ... i'm moved to tears ...
. i can feel the pain in your words ...
. if this is based on your experience, i wish you resilience ...
. take care, dear poet ...