A Real Father and a Real Lost Mother

an oversight of my childhood, and the effects of death on my mom & I. It haunts me to this day.

Life was hard when I was younger,

growing up without a father,

but a man that filled his place.

he was there like he should have been,

I'll never forget his face,

Mom was constantly working,

she barely had time for herself,

still she was strong enough when he died,

to keep his photo on the shelf.

The house, it felt so empty,

so lonely and so cold,

when its 90 degrees outside,

it feels like zero without someone to hold,

There were times without water,

winters without heat,

but somehow I never felt it,

I only felt my heart beat,

days without electric,

only helped me grow, 

I learned to live without those things,

and to reap what you sow, 

mom said just to be happy,

that there is a roof over your head,

so I would lay there in the dark with a candle lit,

and dream of a better life ahead,

mom started drinking,

I started skipping school, I started lying to my friends,

so they wouldnt know the truth,

mom started smoking,

and stealing money that was mine,

claiming she needed it more,

that it would lead to a better life,

years down the road,

I threw it in her face,

saying if this was a better life,

my life was a mistake,

I started smoking too,

it helped to ease the pain,

I swore I'd never be like her,

but we are one in the same,

the only man that ever,

really cared enough to try, 

is resting six feet under,

and living in the sky,

I've grown out of my habits,

but I'm left with the pain,

I've learned to handle it wisely,

but mom...she stayed the same.

Author's Note

I'd like to ask for no corrections or criticism on this one please. This was written when I was 20 ( a handful of years ago ). I would just love to know, yet again, if any of you can relate. Please feel free to share your past with me.

Reviews

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

This one is very personal, it is filled to the brim with life and pain. It is really painful to read yet gripping. Thank you for sharing

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This is sadly beautiful... I don't relate to it personally, but it is familiar enough that it reminds of of a few people I have known over the years. The emotion in this piece is strong and visceral - it grabs you. Great job

[Lilly Lyle]

Thank you very much!

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Welcome!! :)