Beyond the 5 Senses

I was asked to write a poem about a Sense without using sight, this is a work in progress, I am stuck with it for now, not quite happy with it, not feeling like it is complete...ah well.

Skip past the obvious
The senses that keep us from living up to our fullest potential
Keeping us suspended just above the primordial quagmire
Of the human experience.

Move onto the infinite
time and space does not matter
Matter does not matter
Other senses are not required
Extra sensory perception is not needed
Go to where we practice our knowingness .

Knowing is absolute
we converge with the universe.
Go beyond Freud’s explanation
Reach further than the ego
See past the Superego
Stand where truth is understood
joy is felt
the hearts desire is fulfilled.

Bring knowingness back
To the body, the mind and the heart
experience the awakening of all the senses
With knowingness.

Reviews

[Undeniable Truth]

I truly appreciate the analogy you make. when our dominant senses take away from us our potential great LOL. I love how you have created a new sense that was not previously percieved in the spoken word form, and made it real to all who have read it using a word we never thought could mean so much. Knowingness. I like it ;)

[Eagle Cruagh]

Experience the awakening of the senses ?
Knowingness seems maaningless UNLESS you
can use a few examples of a combination of
the senses, taste in all it`s nuances, smell and
how you are affected by the aromas that affect
you in many different ways.
I am not critical of your poem or any part of it,
I am intrigued by the combination of senses that
affect us in a mulittude of ways.
Great writing.
-----Eagle Cruagh

[KrisK]

I like it...I think the "greatest" sense is knowingness...I think we are all moving in that direction and you captured it well...the end of the poem is powerful...knowingness is a part of you or you wouldn't have been able to write about it so beautifully...

[Lyrical Love]

This reminds me of the spiritual connection I just embraced with my Lover!
I feel like he touches and stimulates a new sense/feeling/place in me that I didn't know
existed until we connected.
Kudos for such an awe-some write!

[Anita B Jacques]

I like it as is. Knowingness....a magic word for me. Body, mind and heart, yes, if it was my poem I would add
Soul. All the emotions together, a great write. Thank you for sharing, very informative. God Bless

[Flow~]

yes we often listen to only a few of our senses for us guys it is our sense of sight that is dominant. I like the message here that if we use all our senses we would become knowingly, we would notice the things we most miss. It is a good sign that you are not satisfied with your work, as a writer you will tinker tinker tinker trying to reach perfection. Keep working with it I am sure it will come together the way you want it too.

[Alyssa Dufresne]

I would recommend creating a picture with sounds and textures - going with the "transcending the everyday life" theme, perhaps describe a walk through the woods.

Tell what the birds sound like - their exact pitch. Tell what the air tastes like - yes, woodland air can have a taste (humid, sometimes with a hint of cinnamon-ish flavor). Perhaps show how one can go beyond the superego and the ego.

Best wishes.

-Midnight

[Anya]

"Stand where truth is understood
joy is felt
the hearts desire is fulfilled."

That's amazing...

as is the whole poem but those words really grabbed me..

[Song of Mercy]

Very nice. I am not an expert reviewer, but I know what I like. I liked this. Thanks for sharing, Barb