Conscience

When you know what you're doing isn't right...

He whispers sweet nothings in her pierced ear. They’ve been doing the same routine for two years. He calls her at the same hour, telling her what he thinks she needs to hear.

She’s had enough of the ‘I wishes’ and the ‘I wants’ No more.

She can’t fight the temptation to run back into his arms. He holds her so close… the smell of his aftershave mesmerizes her as his arms drape across her shoulders. He has her captivated in his spell. But she can’t do it anymore.

It’s not that easy for her to push him away. She looks at him and sees he is so comfortable in this situation. But why is she so bothered? A hopeless romantic"who only wants to be loved"just like all of the women she sees in the films. But she’s not them.

No. It’s much more than that. The urge comes within her to tell him. She’s sick and tired of this vicious cycle of pent up emotions, unsaid words, and impulsive actions. She doesn’t want to lie anymore.

 

She stands at the white door. The white door that has witnessed their adultery.

She can hear movement inside. She raises her clutched hand to the door to knock, and looks down at the green carpet lining the entire hallway. She sighs. She hears footsteps coming towards the door and starts to panic. But there’s nowhere to hide.

         “Jess?” His voice soothes her soul.

         “David!” She masks the sorrow in her voice with surprise.

         “What are you--"“

        “I can’t do it anymore David!”

She flings her arms around him.

They kiss. Her lips pressed up against his, she loves this. She loves getting lost in his eyes, she loves being in that trance, not aware of the world. But she is in the world. She knows she’s not meant to be in this love trap anymore. She’s sinking in quick sand, but refuses to fight herself free.

                “What’s the problem?"

She stares at his muscular body. His broad shoulders, his fleshy torso.

 

                 "I can't do this anymore, David." She sighs

                 "Do what?" He says in an innocent tone. It's become so regular for him.

                  "What?! All of the sneaking around, the lying, the scheming, the sin! That's what! Don't you think this is wrong?"

                  "No. It's love. Love isn't wrong is it?" He reaches out for her cheek and strokes it. His hands are soft.

She brushes off his hand, "No David, not anymore." She stands firm, and stares at his dark brown eyes.

                  "But, I don't want this to end."

                  "I don't either David, but, what if we get caught?"

                  "We won't." He smiles.

She buries her face in her hands.

                  "I don't know what to do anymore."

                   "Come in." He walks into the apartment.

She looks at the gap in the doorway. She battles with the two voices in her head. She bows her head down and takes a step into the apartment.

Author's Note

Just an idea that came into my mind. Is there too much of 'She'? Should I address her by name as well?