Misfortune

A mother's intuition never fails..

June sits by the phone twiddling her fingers. She’s watching the news and biting her thumb nail. She looks at her two youngest children curled up on the sofa sleeping. She rests her hand on her cheek, staring at the phone. There are streaks of rain running down the window. A dead petal flutters off the daisy that Ally gave her. She walks into a moonlit room looking at the bed; unmade, clothes draped on either side; just how Ally left it. There’s a picture of her oldest daughter in a silver frame. Her eyes scan the picture; she’s smiling. Her brown eyes are gleaming. June puts her hands on her cheeks, grinning. She sniffles. What is that smell? She walks over to the closet in the corner going through the clothes she left behind. There’s a red top with a glittery picture of Bugs bunny she gave her on her birthday. She slides it off the hanger, and puts her face in it. She pulls the t-shirt away and pinches her nose.

            “Honey? Why are you in the dark?” Her husband flicks on the switch.

            “Just in Ally’s room... the house seems so empty without her here. Can you smell something Dave?”

            “Don’t worry, she’ll be back soon. It smells perfectly fine. Why?” He walks towards her.

            “Dave, I just want to be alone ok?”

Her face is buried in her hands. She wipes the tear drops from her puffy eyes. June goes downstairs to the kitchen; her shadow follows her on the linoleum floor. There’s a large bottle of white wine on the shelf. Her thin fingertips brush against the cork, pulling it open. She sniffles, that smell again. She pours it into a tall glass, and walks to her seat by the phone. The wine mixes with the acid in her empty stomach. It’s 3 in the morning; the bags under her eyes are getting deeper. Her hands rub against her legs; she feels something in her pocket. She takes it out and reads it: “097856678321, Ally, call me.” Her lips start to quiver. She rubs both of her watery eyes and sighs.

It’s 7 in the morning. The bottle of wine is empty. June is lying on the wooden table with her head buried in her crossed arms. The phone rings and she jumps up to answer.

            “Hello!” She slurs.

            “Have you paid your tax today? For only-“

Stupid tax collectors. She fumbles to put the phone back on the receiver. She looks at the sofa to see no kids there.

            “Jamie? Sarah?” She wobbles as she gets up.

There’s a note on the table: “June, taken kids to school. Love, Dave x” She sits down in her wooden chair and looks at the phone. Why can’t she call me? She crosses her arms on her lap and bends over. I’m an unfit mother. Streams of tears fall off her face. She sits up straight blowing her fuzzy hair out of her face. She sniffs. That smell, it’s horrible.

            “What are you doing?” Dave says, opening the door.

            “Waiting”

            “June, you need to sleep.”

            “No.”

            “Do you need anything?”

            “Wine.”

            “June, that’s not going to help any-“

            “Dave. You said you wanted to help? I want wine!”

She sits by the telephone. Dave’s footsteps are faint. She pours another glass, gulping it down her throat. The petals of Ally’s daisy surround the pot, brown, withered, and rotten.

Author's Note

This is actually one of my favourite stories. I put a lot of effort and emotion into this. Still needs tweaking.

Reviews

[ashleigh chantelle]

Amazing you need to finish this!!

[Ashly Christen]

i want wine! yes! and the flower petals, a foreshadowing im sure, i lilke good job,

[Chris38]

I thought this was excellent I liked the way it ended. You handled the dialogue really well.

[Sunflower 20]

i like this piece, although i think its a little unfinished. i mean the ending could be added upon, in my opinion. But the description and imagery is wonderful. and you portray the emotions of a mother brilliantly. Nice job :)

[Nick'sGirl <3]

you are amazing! I love this story!

[OT]

I also see why this is one of your favourites!! you give a good sense of longing and apathy - the waiting, the wanting! nice and evocative!

[Color of the Iris]

Ha ha, the end was good. I loved this story, it was really, really great. 100/100

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

I can see why this is one of your favourites. The emotion is carried off well as June goes through the turmoil is just..waiting, feeling helpless. Well done