When Did This Happen?

My trust is very easily broken. 

If you break it, be prepared to face the consequences. The thing is, most people believe that because I don't have a strong trust I must be fragile myself. However I consider myself a strong person considering I've been dealing with major depression my entire life and have to use every source of power to get up in the morning. Believe me, if I wanted to, at any moment, I would commit suicide however I have yet to grasp the dimly lit light that dangles somewhere far beyond the darkness that resides around and inside me. I force myself to survive. 

The amount of trust I put in someone else has nothing to do with me and everything too do with them and their actions. It's scary how fast I'm to blame for me not trusting someone. I've been lied to, cheated on, betrayed by both friends and family ever since I can remember. 

But somehow, it's my fault as to why I don't trust people. 

Especially certain people.

See, before I mentioned how the person I'm in a relationship with--side note, I'll be calling him Figs-- is important and I can't lose him again. That comes from the fact that a certain "friend" decided to destroy and burn anything I had with him when we were younger. She destroyed my entire relationship because she was jealous and f*****g psycho. 

She tried to make the entire situation like it was my fault. She tried to manipulate her way into my f*****g inner core and f**k with everything. I told her straight up that she was a crazy b***h and that I didn't need her in my life.

All trust with her is broken. 

It can never be restored. It's like breaking a glass into billions of pieces and trying to put it back together with nails. It just doesn't work.