Reflections of the Sea

A short story.

The skies cast their reflections upon the sea. A vast, blue expanse stretches across the  horizon, its surface tinged in moonlight. Enrobed in silver hues, a crystalline film covers the expanse. Shadows of stars appear upon the ocean’s surface; their lights quiver amidst the tides, and the heavens vibrate in the sea's undulations. The tides are incredibly serene tonight; and all movement within the water is seemingly birthed only by rain falling gently onto its surface. A beautiful reflection of the world has been cast before me.

  I had been resting amidst the shores since the break of morrow. Today, time seemed brief, and darkness quickly engulfed the sun. Figures had come and gone. Couples, children, families, and merchants oft came by the shore to indulge in its beauty. None of these figures stayed. As sunlight sorrowfully crept away towards nightfall, the clouds grew pallid and wan. In an elegant union the lights and the clouds drifted towards the rose-lit sunset, and I was alone. A soothing calm arose from my solitude.

  Cold drops of rain fell gently upon the desolate shores. The heavens let their tears fall upon me; they were insufferably cold to the touch and in their caress I noted a vague, yet perceptible sense of  pity. In brief, intense flashes the rain created within me a consuming loneliness. The air was of solace; perfumed with the faint sensation of roses, the wintry zephyrs wafted a soft incense across the shores. Faintly, this lifted my spirits.  

  Now I lie before a sea of reflections, and these shall fade for the nature of the immaterial is brief. Time is enshrouded in uncertainties. It has been cruel, unforgiving and ephemeral - a mist which disappears and reappears into existence. Yet oft, it is warm, compassionate, enduring, and vivid.
 
   I faintly remember the images which had adorned the seas earlier today. Bedight in golden hues, and pale patches of white slowly drifting into the depths of the horizon, these skies also cast reflections upon the waters; however, they were different. They did not evoke hope, or beauty. 

  Though the skies were calm, a tempest was born from the waves, which seemed to roar in torment. A frightening sincerity was forged from the ferocity of the waves, as though they seemed to manifest the world's sorrow in their great undulations.

   The serenity of the sea cast before me, at present, is in my perceptions, a lie, illusory in nature. Perhaps the world was once a more sincere place; now, it is an endless array of deceptions. 

    She was, perhaps, the saddest of all lies. Once, in the still of the night, when loneliness consumed my soul, and the soft incense wafted across the shores, she appeared before me, seemingly carried by the winds. Her existence was sorrowfully fragile -- so beautifully fragile. A lovely, pale countenance was sustained by her ethereal body. In her presence, the dolour was lifted from my spirit, and the loneliness was replaced by warmth. 

    We did not exchange words, yet, together we watched the sea's reflections slowly fade away; and perhaps we were saddened by the brevity of it all, the stars, the moon, the rain, the skies, the incense, the wintry zephyrs. Perhaps, we were saddened by all of it... 

    My perceptions of time were dulled in her presence, and I noted not the morrows that passed. One day, she too vanished from my life, and solitude slowly replaced the warmth in my soul.     

    Years have passed since those days, and I have confined my existence to the shores, the reflections, the moon, the stars, the lies. There is solace in all these things. I sorrowfully await the day, that I too shall vanish and be reunited with her, in the depths of the sounding sea (in the heavens, which quiver amidst the tides of the sorrowful, illusory sea)...

Reviews

[Kuandio]

Honestly, good job. You don’t need to take any of my suggestions seriously, just something to consider. The descriptions of the sea in the beginning are a little generalized in their approach, and I thought maybe you could emphasize the narrator’s voice a bit more in the beginning. Experiencing perceptions through the protagonist has a powerful personal effect on the reader. Some lines that stood out ; “film” brings to mind something akin to skin, even slimy, so maybe change that one. Very interesting was “shadows of stars”. I really liked the third paragraph about the rain’s essence. Overall, there were times when it seemed there was something a bit contrived about the writing, but your talent and proficiency with language overshadows this. Other great lines - “a tempest was born from the waves, which seemed to roar in torment” - usually the sound instills peace, but I imagine that depending on your state of mind, the experience could be different. Another nice line, “a frightening sincerity was forged from the ferocity of the waves” There’s a lot of beauty in the work, overlaid with an existential angst, and the lament for this mysterious woman, which I think is maybe a metaphor for this lamentation at the ephemeral? By the way, it’s a great transition how you open describing the sea, then introduce us to this lost love. I definitely think you should do some more reflections like this, maybe the forest, mountains, or a busy street in a downtown somewhere.

[A. Amos]

A graceful and eloquent write, Bravo!

[Mockingbird]

excellent imagery that evokes emotions and empathy. it brings to mind questions of mortality and how from the ocean we came from and to the sea we return. i like how the sea is likened to a lie and in reality is a fragile thing. a nice meditation on life.

[Eagle Cruagh]

A simple story of life.
The sea is simply the life force
by which we endure the rest.
Pending storm adds some drama.
Thanks,
----- Eagle Cruagh

[EastN]

Really, really good. I would like to know which writers inspired your writing. My only complaint is that the story isn't, well, a story. At first glance it is merely a reflection of the narrator's feelings when by the sea, but by the end attempts to become a tragic love story. Your tale is like the sea it's describing, it drifts but never reaches a set destination. You describe the sea, describe people who visit the sea, describe the air around the sea, describe the sea some more, at some point introduce and describe the protagonist's love interest, and then end. You have an uncanny talent for descriptions, so much so that your writing seems to belong to a different era than our current one, full of books made solely for money. However, I would like to see these descriptions give birth to a true narrative, rather than the somewhat hollow story found here. All in all however, an impressive first effort.

[M.D. Aguiar]

These are the writers I admire most: Edgar Allan Poe, Herman Melville, Franz Kafka, James Joyce, John Keats, and Charles Dickens. Thank you for the review; I agree wholeheartedly with every opinion expressed therein.

[Annie S]

I'm glad to say that this story is perfect. Your descriptive words are so great that i have to
read over some words.
Amazing piece here. Looking forward to see you writing some more
Keep writing :)

[M.D. Aguiar]

It is certainly not perfect, I'm afraid. I thank you for your genuinely kind words, however.

[Annie S]

Believe this story is superb i like it And your welcome :)