Sexual Abuse is what held me back

Have you not been able to reach Your Full Potential because you were abused? Is the pain of the past holding you back? Did you know 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused? There are all kinds of abuse but the kinds I understand first hand are sexual abuse, incest rape and relationship abuse. I was held back from reaching my own Full Potential for many years...I understand first hand!

I was sexually abused starting at 4 years of age.  It continued to happen year after year by different people until I was old enough to understand it was wrong. It was not something I asked for or caused! I say that in case you have been lied to and believe you did! I know first hand the effects of abuse.  I consider people who sexually abuse children worse than murders.  They murder their victims but leave them alive! My voice was stolen.  I could not speak due to the fear that was used to intimidate me. The fear used was LIES! Your voice is what can and will stop the abuse, have courage to use it if you are in an abusive situation now!

 

Me at age 4

Years were stolen from me.  My life was so messed up for so many years. I am still recovering from it (It is a life long process).  I made so many bad choices and went down so many dead end roads.  I was angry and bitter and I ended up abusing myself in the process.  I tried to numb the pain.  Nothing worked! I tried to make the pain go away by looking for love.  I unfortunately looked for love in all of the wrong places.  I just wanted to be loved. I was Hungry for Love!  I had no boundaries because they were violated, literally stolen from me at an early age.  I believed the lie that I could not say no to men.  I felt obligated to say yes! Ever feel that way?  Don't feel alone, it is a normal response when someone has been abused!

I chose the wrong kind of guys.  I ended up with guys who could not love me the way I needed to be loved; ones who usually cheated on me and broke my heart. I chose guys who I could prove my worth too, since I didn't have any. If anyone was going to love me, then I must earn or prove I was good enough to be loved.

I then got involved with someone and lived with domestic violence*. I was convinced I was worthless and unlovable.  I was convinced no one else would love me and I couldn't leave my situation.  Lies.........pure LIES!!!! When the physical abuse started was when I finally left. I struggled with leaving because I loved him so much. This was a false love.  I understand the fear.  I understand the control and the manipulation, the belittling, the domination and the guilt trips that are used.  I also understand what it feels like to finally be free from the hate and to forgive someone who deeply hurt you.  Once I was able to give the pain to God he removed the hatred from my heart.  I had to let go of it, so God could remove it.  The day I read the words "Hurt people, hurt people", they changed my life. I knew this person had been hurt very badly as a little boy and that his adult actions were rooted from being hurt as a child.  I also  hurt him and others because I was hurt! ALL things are possible with God! The road to Freedom is through the doorway of Forgiveness!

I understand firsthand what abuse feels like.  I understand the humiliation you live with.  I understand the confusion you live with. I understand the deep dark depression. I understand what being codependent means and being so intertwined with someone else you don't know who you are anymore.  I understand.................

I lived with regret, shame, guilt, anger, bitterness and torment for 40 years; until one day when I was finally set free! I am here to share with you how I was set free.  I am here to share with you how to muster up the courage to stand up for yourself and to begin a new life.  Do not be afraid anymore.  I understand what it feels like to live in fear!  I am here to help you, to love you and to let you know that you are not alone. To have someone else who truly understands can't change the situation but it helps to know you are accepted and loved just the way you are!  You don't have to remain a victim, you can become a victor.  I'll share with you how I went from being pitiful to powerful!  You can too!

Until I write more...know in your heart, you are loved, you are worthy and God has a purpose for you. You are meant to do much more than you are doing now.  You are meant to be filled with joy and peace not sadness and fear. God is giving you strength to endure things you couldn't endure on your own. He has his angels of protection around you and will not allow anything to happen to you that you can not handle. 

I will leave you with this thought.........I would not change anything that has happened to me.  I am grateful for all that I have been through.  I know and believe in my heart that I endured all of it so I could sit here and type these very words.  Words that I pray bring comfort, encouragement and hope for you.  I made it to the other side and so can you.  Do not give up! Do not let any one convince you that you are not lovable! Do not believe the lies that there is no hope for you. No matter how far down you are God can pull you up! It doesn't matter what you have done or what has been done to you! You are important and worthy and there is a better life waiting for you. You can come out of the dark and let your light shine. Do not let what happen to you define who you are or who you can become.  We can do all things through Christ who Empowers us <3

In his love,
Debra

Author's Note

From my website www.yourfullpotential.org all of this is not organized, but I will get there : )

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[dudette]

Truly Inspiring WOW!