Massacre At Latamore Lake

Massacre at Latamore Lake
the Beast…
It is told by many that know it well;
the devil himself spawned this beast in hell.
He disguised it with beauty like an innocent heart,
And that my friends is where this sad tale will start.
A field-trip to the lake 6 classes they say,
150 people went to the lake that tragic day.
When they first arrived it was as calm as could be,
So much beauty for them all to see.
But the swan was absolutely the most beautiful of all.
A glistening white with a neck so proud and tall.
They had no warning of the evil inside,
the cruelty of the beast was willing to wait and hide.
The swan held beauty but it’s heart was so cold,
Like ice in the winter or so I’ve been told.
The beauty of the swan seems to pull you in,
Enthralled by loveliness the beast knows he will win.
Then a faint mist begins to rise out of the swans back,
as the beast prepares to make his attack.
The mist gets darker till it’s black as night.
Hair at your neck begins to rise your spine will shiver and tremble with fright.
But your feet won’t move and you can’t seem to scream.
You heart is praying that this is a dream.
The beast spreads its wings to block out the sun,
with a deafening screech, now he’s having some fun.
He grabs two of your classmates and rips them apart.
Then slowly it seems he eats each of their hearts.
Your own heart is pounding so deep in your chest.
It’s so loud in your ears now you can’t think what’s best.
Then the beast grabs two more, a parent this time,
I can’t stand it to watch this heinous crime.
When ever I tried to look away from that horrible sight.
I knew for sure I would die sometime that night.
The last thing I remember was being hit very hard and knocked to the ground.
Thankfully everything went black and I found some peace.
When I awoke in the hospital to noise that would not cease.
I was so happy, it was all just a dream...
But sadly things are not always the way they seem,
138 people died that day, the paper said MASSACRE AT LATAMORE LAKE.
I thank God for this blessing, my life he did not take.

 

Reviews

[.mgwheeler]

sad. um, i think i like the ellipses after every line, but if i were to do it (and this is just me) i'd make the last line end at "and" with an ellipses. exclamation points. don't fit the mood. nope. sorry. but otherwise i appreciate the idea, the inspiration that i'm sure went into this work, and i think the execution was mostly well done. overall, good job for sure.