The Sadness

The Sadness       

   

              Closing in like an eclipse on a sunny day

              bright with future remaining the figment

              of my imagination left with murky interpretation 

              Beauty is a fading blackness that surrounds

              empty spaces, walls closing, life imploding

              as does my view holding tight to every memory

              through the mind is a pin hole of light half

              filled with hope just enough to hold on to

              Run fast towards the opening before the dimming

             tell the stories write it all down before the 

             dark takes over ascending like a virus .....

             climb out of the dark emptiness stomping out

             the sadness.

              Deborah Kelly ( Debbie Philly) 9/24/13   

Reviews

[Writer #00]

Wow. You conveyed so much emotion through what seemed like a single emotion, finding the hope in despair; illustrating the fear sorrow can bring expertly. The layout of the stanzas, flowing from one line to the next, created (for me) a sense of fluidity and, simultaneously, confusion as the sparse punctuation caused difficulty of navigation. This added to the "walls all around" feeling depression is wont to give. The picture you chose fits well, a display of the closing analogy, the light of hope (red dress and lips) seen through a pinhole in the dark (black and white background and character). Absolutely magnificent, I'll have to add this to my library.

[Debbie_Philly]

WOW Writer I'm overwhelmed by your generous comment... thank you very much... I cant tell you how much it means to me that you liked it and got something from it :) Thank you again !!

[Writer #00]

No problem, it is a pleasure to read.

[ANM]

Darkness envelops us all at times... well written!

[Debbie_Philly]

Very true ANM..... it can indeed !!

[ANM]

You are most welcome!

[...]

Stunning and refreshing :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much again Lynn.. I will be over to your page to read you as well !! :)

[A. Amos]

Debbie I truly enjoyed your poetry will come back to read more..

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Amos.... that means allot... I will be by to read you as well :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[closed]

masterfully invoking
drawing us into shadows with each verse.

emotive beauty
sublime


-a friend named ''Dream''

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you very much Dream.... it means allot that you read and commented... :) Nice to meet you

[Debbie_Philly]

You changed your name ?

[closed]

yvw. I'll be sure to read others as well. and youre probably noting my full pen name, I like to go under ''Dream'' for short.

[Uneek]

This reminds me of something I recently wrote. I love the urgency to capture the beauty of light and happiness & to write it all down before it fades away to the regular desparity of life. Holding on for dear life. Love the contrast. Very nice write!

[Debbie_Philly]

That you so much.... yea I find myself having to do that allot .... it creeps in.... thank you again ... so happy to see you here !!

[smurfett]

Absolutely beautiful Debbie...So much hope and inspiration in this piece. Thank you for sharing!

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much Smurfett.... always a pleasure to see you and to have you read my poetry.... thank you again :)

[TL Boehm]

tell the stories write it all down before the

dark takes over ascending like a virus .....
there is that urgency, that desperation in this - its a lovely write - but it aches at the same time.

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you so much TL.... yes I feel that urgency allot.... but I only write when inspired... and two things inspired this....an instrumental score in one of mine and my kids fav movies and the way I was feeling at the time.... Thank you again for reading !! :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, reach for the light....it does dim if you don't grab it and hold on. Beautiful images...albeit some dark...throughout your poem. I liked it. Lydi**

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you very much Lydia :) and very nice to meet you !! :)

[B-poet]

A eloquent & intriguing write. Loved the picture you picked as well. It's a captivating beauty within itself. Great work Debbie_Philly. A riveting read. :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Thank you very much Bpoet... so good to see you... I will be over to read you as well... thank you again :)