Empty

This is to my dear deceased friend Ashlyn Nicole Buterbaugh...I love you :/

I was different, back then

Self inflicted problems were my forte

I was weak, a wimp, stupid

But you never gave up

We were relatable, you and I

I scratched your back as you scratched mine

Even when you were in pain

Losing your will to live, as you returned mine

 

Even as those tears streamed down in secrecy

You caught me when I fell

But as many times as I wished to know you were ok

You told me yes, with a smile

You cared when the rest refused to

I don't blame them, but you always said no

You believed in me, you had faith

You gave me a second chance

 

And now you're gone...in a blink of an eye

Without warning, vanished, dead before my eyes

Yet I still don't accept it..even as the news reports tell me

"She's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone"

In the respect of pain, I'm happy for you

You have been released, suffering vanished from your soul

Even so, I miss you...I miss you so much

I wish I could've said goodbye before you left

I wish I could've saved you before you went

I wish I could've heard you before you wept

I wish I could've held you before you leapt..

And now, your funeral is upcoming

But I am not invited..

And the fact that I cannot tell you goodbye properly

Makes me utterly

Completely

Implicitly

undeniably

empty...